RECULER POUR MIEUX SAUTER
Despite my French being non-existent, the saying “Reculer pour mieux sauter” stuck with me. It means: “To take a step back in order to make a jump forward”—which is how I feel…like I’m being pulled by something greater than me…to observe, listen, learn…
As I received life’s gifts, I had a choice:
Self-sabotage: hide my emotions, continue ignoring my intuition, dive into work & everything else entertaining that would present itself—thereby repeating the pattern (aka the path of least resistance)
OR
Put on my brave-girl panties and dive into transforming my pain into something useful🦸🏾♀️
While I was persuaded a few times, I’m so grateful I was able to commit to the latter.
You see…the more I started accepting life as it “is” including my own truth and that of others, I started feeling more aligned, grounded & at peace.
I needed to let go of how “I” decided things should be; make space & trust that everything IS as it should be; as I could clearly see why everything happening was for me to be able to break a destructive cycle of letting my mind cloud my intuitive judgement & lingering in situations that weren’t for me.
Observing myself brought me so much clarity: How all my emotions are guidance to where I need to connect with myself; I learned to use the cause of my emotions to identify my psychological needs, values and redefine my boundaries (to keep out what I don’t want in the future).
While I’ve been feeling really good lately, I’m still on this journey of healing & full acceptance where I have to continuously forgive,
be kind to & remind myself to trust this process of self-love, which paradoxically is more like a hell of a rollercoaster ride.
It’s also the most liberating conscious transformation I’ve experienced.
As many are dealing with their own set of challenges during these crazy times, just know: You always have a choice.
Stepping into my power has taught me that acceptance of what “is” combined with consciously facing yourself can bring you closer
to who you are to the core. With this insight you can take on the world from another level ✨
I may not see the road ahead, yet I feel confidently optimistic, even excited! Taking one step at a time…
Location: Paris, France
- Published in Love & Relationships, Self-Discovery & Growth
”HERE’S MY GIFT TO YOU” SAID LIFE
I knew myself to be in a period of transformation, but man oh mann, did I NOT expect life coming at me.
This, even though all the signs where there from the beginning and ironically, while I experienced so much progress with regards to self-discovery & growth🤦🏽♀️.
I felt so intensely happy and at peace, despite(!) nothing in my life going as I planned. As if 2020 just being itself wasn’t enough, life decided to test me. “Ahhh, you think you know what you’re doing?! Well, show me what you’ve learned!”.
Experiencing emotional turmoil, I easily fell into the “trap”, before I could see it as an opportunity to practice.
“WHY is this happening to ME”, “Howww?”, etc. = the trap of my mind/ego victimizing myself, until I realized: Struggles, challenges, adversity, heartbreak, pain, unmet expectations, rejection, loss etc.—It’s ALL here as a gift of life. To learn, grow and evolve.
As we are all unique, we receive tailor made gifts— to awaken us until we learn to accept them with gratitude & listen to what they teach us.
I had my body itching every night for 2 weeks, thinking bed bugs and all the worst. The doctor couldn’t help, as there was nothing visible on my body. Psychosomatically, it was literally the inside of me screaming that I wasn’t listening, making me want to “jump out of skin”. The crazy part? As soon as I let go of what I had to, the itch was GONE.
I’m learning now that life is NOT about being happy all the time. It’s about being true to yourself; connected to yourself. Living in alignment with your values and setting boundaries. Facing your emotions and “mistakes” instead of burying them deep. From that comes something more profound than happiness!
The more you know yourself, the more clarity there is. It “cost” me a beautiful relationship that wasn’t for me, but the pain was there to teach me to listen to me & choose me with all the love I have for myself.
Life will continue to throw us exactly what we need to force us to turn inward;
“Shit” happens to the best (all) of us and there is so much value in the growing pains! Instead of blaming life, making yourself the victim, embrace your tailor made gifts from the Universe & LISTEN🙏✨
Location: Venice, Italy
- Published in Love & Relationships, Self-Discovery & Growth
THE END OF ROMANTICISING ENTREPRENEURSHIP
I get so many messages asking me what I do exactly, how I am able to live my privileged lifestyle, how I got here etc., and it makes me think of a phrase my dad uses: “Everybody wants to go the heaven, but nobody wants to die”.
You see…I don’t have any more hours in a day than you do. I just made a habit out of creating my own opportunities, taking (calculated) risks and most importantly, putting in the work, always giving 200%. I continuously challenge myself to find smarter, more efficient ways to get things done. To me, easy is boring. So is too much of a routine or playing it safe. I’m always leveling up by choosing the difficult paths, out of my comfort zone, cause I love the thrill of a good challenge.
But the number of times I failed? Countless! None of which I shared on Social Media and still learning every day. By now I’ve embraced the falling, cause I know from experience I’ll always stand up again: wiser & stronger. The anticipation of the knockout punch, is what makes it interesting!
A lil’ bit of blood, loads of sweat and a ton of tears is what it takes. Sacrifice. Patience. Continuous improvement and investment. Being flexible
and constantly re-strategizing. Smart scaling & delegating. Staying away from negativity and spending your energy wisely. But also, taking time
to rest and reflect.
I think entrepreneurship is highly romanticized and when reality kicks in, many just give up. Everyone wants things fast and easy, yet nothing worthwhile having is obtained immediately without effort. To the contrary, I believe, you have to be willing to “die”, in order to proceed to “heaven”.
If you’re not to some degree, you’ll have no choice but to settle, which is fine too, depending on your vision for life.
So this freedom I have, all the things you see me do, none of it comes falling out of the sky. It’s purely me reaping seeds I’ve planted for years. It’s me manifesting everything I visualized, pored all my energy into. I wish I could tell you a more fairytale-like story, but the good news is, that it’s fairly “simple” and it’s entirely up to you! 😉
📍Location: Panamá, Central America
- Published in Business & Entrepreneurship, Self-Discovery & Growth
A TRUE EXPLORER
As a true explorer, she is not only traveling the world, but courageous enough to travel within her heart and mind, to discover new spaces to heal and grow—releasing negative and unnecessary attachments, while embedding wisdom wherever her awareness takes her.
She’s learning what it means to be happy on her own, in each moment. Watering her own garden, nurturing her own seeds, and blooming
for herself🌺. As she consciously steps into her power and walks forward into a bright & impactful future, solely governed by her vision
and will, she’s kind enough to let the world watch…✨
Location: Panamá, Central America
- Published in Self-Discovery & Growth
IF ONLY…
Whenever I say “If only…” in a conversation with my dad, he replies, “If only I were a King, my dear, then you would be…” and then I fill in “a princess!” and we laugh together.
Despite being cared for like a princess by my loved ones all my life, I have always been aware of the value of money, hard & smart work, perseverance and dedication.
My spiritual awakening-process couldn’t have crushed my self-image more, of both “Princess” and a “hard/smart-working, young female Entrepreneur” as I would proudly believe & present myself to be.
I’ve got to experience how nothing is more freeing than letting go of these identifications with self (including the entitlement that comes
with them).
You see, we “think” a whole lot of ourselves, which comes with an equal lot of expectations and demands.
When life deals us a difficult hand, we tend to focus on the “If only…we had better cards…” or the “this shouldn’t be happening to me…”,
which makes us blind to all the opportunity and blessings we have at that moment.
“If only I had a better body”, “If only I lived by the beach”, “If only I make 6 figures…”, “If only I am…, If only I have…etc. THEN, I will be so happy, satisfied, fulfilled…” And in the mean time? You’ll be stressed, frustrated, miserable?
How often has your mind tricked you into the above?
I’ve been there, lost in the identification with being an entrepreneur: #hustlehard, #nopainnogain, #neverevergiveup -all the clichés.
And while there is nothing wrong with having goals and working your 🍑 off towards them, there is one thing many, including myself in
the past, seem to forget: To genuinely be happy in the process.
We are so lost in anticipating the future, that we don’t even realize that at this very moment, the future is nothing but a fragment of our
mind, a thought, a fantasy, a dream. There’s no single guarantee nor is there anything we can hold onto.
So…How is it that we base our everyday moods and entire happiness on just wishful thoughts?
Why would we choose to remain royal prisoners in our future Kingdoms? 🤷🏽♀️
“..🎶 Is this the real life? Is this the fantasy? Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality🎵”-Queen.
Location: Cairo, Egypt
- Published in Self-Discovery & Growth
A WOMAN BREAKING FREE
When I think of a woman breaking away from convention, with all that it encompasses in terms of daring and courage, I think of her as:
strong, surprising & unpredictable. Often misunderstood, underestimated and perceived intimidating by those too insecure; Yet she’s
unbothered by all attempting to define her, cause she knows she is so much more than anyone, let alone simplistic minds, can comprehend.
She is too open-minded and wayy too versatile to fit into any “box”. She is as complex as she is simple. As intellectual as she is sensual;
As serious as she can be playful. As determined, tough & adventurous as she is adaptable, warm loving & introverted.
She leads by intuition, often bringing her on paths in opposite directions of the status quo. Being a rarity herself, her life is far from dull and ordinary. She’s relentlessly passionate in pursuit of her goals. Very much aware of her strengths, capabilities and value.
Just as much as she knows very well her flaws and faults. But these, she uses as fuel to rise again and again; To grow, adapt, advance, transform and raise the bar every day.
She lives to explore her dreams, while flourishing in her created reality with an attitude of gratitude. Her uniquely graceful charisma combined with her radiant energy tends to leave an everlasting impression… She is everything beyond your imagination, and nothing you can fully envision.
And as I’m writing this, I realise…she is me. And as this woman, as me, I am free…
📍Location: Panamá, Central America
- Published in Self-Discovery & Growth
UNDER INNER-CONSTRUCTION
Learning persistence in following my inner compass, as it seems the only means to guide my way through….The way the seasons come and go,
as I keep riding waves and walking on these roads, to constantly find myself in new time zones, with new phrases and new goals.
The out of the ordinary life I’ve always wished for, I’m now living in gratitude for the limitless possibilities. Yet, the unknown frightens me just as much as it excites me. As much of a puzzle it is to “become” and “unbecome”, it’s equally challenging to keep finding balance in the continuous change.
I’m feeling it all comes down to building a happy, loving home, regardless of location, situation and presence of company.
Under inner-construction is where you’ll find me…content with how solid the foundation is coming together, from which I know that whatever happens; no matter how damp the disappointments, however my heart may be torn and bruised, I will always be absolutely fine.
I will come out at the other end, just like I have all the other times before and realize all I am is all I need and that will always be here right inside of me. A bold, strong love; a true romance that will never fade…🔥
📍Location: Loosdrecht, The Netherlands
- Published in Love & Relationships, Self-Discovery & Growth
FEAR THE FIRE…OR BECOME IT.
“Some fear the fire🔥, others simply become it”…And when you see her glowing, sparkling like sunshine, dripping gold from her pores—let her be✨
Because you see, every moment is a new opportunity for growth and greatness. Each minute you can choose to be a better and happier you.
Every realization starts with a single thought. I’m not the kind of woman to wait until the the new year to become a more evolved version of myself. I’m not waiting until a new week or even tomorrow. As humans, we have the capacity to shape and reshape our lives at any given moment. There’s so much beauty in (un)becoming and so much mystery in never being the same person when you’re ever evolving.
I’ve realized a long time ago that I am the only one responsible for how my life will be looking. That actual growth is being able to look in the mirror and be honest to yourself about your shortcomings and things you could have responded to better, all the while still loving yourself just as much as you would love the ideal version of yourself that you’re working towards.
So I’m working, I’m breaking down my patterns, i’m creating positive shifts, i’m expanding, transforming, advancing and adapting. I’m shedding my limiting beliefs and old habits, creating space for thoughts, words and behaviours that are going to serve me better. I’m a lot kinder to myself. No self-destructive choices, yet no excuses. Trusting in the power of my mind and intuition. I’ve already experienced that power over and over again, as I’ve come a long way.
Growth is my choice, and i’m no longer afraid to explore the depths of my own consciousness and existence, as I still have a long way to go…✨
📍Location: Loosdrecht, The Netherlands
- Published in Self-Discovery & Growth
When The Root Is Deep…Why I don’t have resolutions for 2018.
Ah, here we are, 2017…almost over! It has prominently been a year of discovery and learning for me, a year of rooting…trying, succeeding, trying, failing, trying again, and in the process: getting to know myself and my skills, evolving, growing. The year started with heart break and loss, and almost ended with a burn out and basically everything in between (high and low) came by.
The decision to stop with fashion blogging, allowed me to allocate so much of my time to exploring amazing opportunities that came onto my path. I’ve been working on several marketing projects, all of them for different branches, which allowed me to get a good insight into what I can do with my knowledge and skills and which kind of projects I enjoy doing the most. From SEO for a dentist company to organising a complete fashion week and everything in between. From struggles with time-management, underestimating work load (big time!), miscommunications, doing business with friends (not a good idea btw!), disappointments in the quality of work of partners, while you were bringing your A-game, and more….So many challenges and stumbles, but so much wisdom gained. In my opinion, ”to stumble is to live” and I’m extremely grateful to be able to say that my other two companies, including the Wulterkens Customized Wear Store in Hilversum have been thriving, with a total sales increase of 280% compared to 2016! 🙂 🙂
These accomplishments that I’ve worked so hard for making the longest days (roughly, 90 hours a week) also had a counter side. At some point I felt like I was numb, like I was on autopilot, just getting done what needed to be done and I wasn’t really allowing myself to feel and fully experience all the things happening around me. I didn’t even stand still to enjoy my accomplishments, which is not how I know myself. I’ve been verrrry close to a burn out, gained quite some weight due to having a major foot injury and not eating (yes, not eating is worse than eating too much!). I’ve really slacked on taking care of myself, which I’m not proud of.
Despite being in contact with so many people and having thousands of social media followers, I’ve never felt more alone and misunderstood. At several points I felt like an alien, when for instance, IF there was a rare moment that I had some free time, I just didn’t know what to do with it! It got me feeling bored and I found myself unable to enjoy things that basically everyone does, like watching Netflix for too long or going out (which lead me to getting into too much work, because I somehow had this desperate need to be productive at all times). I’ve ”lost” so many ”friends”, because I simply couldn’t (or wouldn’t) keep up socially. Relationship wise, it has been a challenge too, because after 8 years and working together 24/7, despite the love definitely being there, it’s not easy to keep that fire burning hot…
I guess it’s all about choices and priorities….and despite knowing how important balance is, I think I failed on balancing out this year…Yet, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Things happen for a reason. Analysing my 2017, I clearly see everything and everyone I needed, came to me, exactly when I needed it and the same goes for the other way around. Everything (and everyone) I felt like I ”lost”, was for the better and lead me to something else. I’ve come to care a lot less about things that would upset me before, such as not being able to post good content regularly on social media and thus, losing many followers. Definitely upped my game of putting things into perspective, which brought me a lot of peace. I’ve learned to be more direct, raw and honest about my thoughts and feelings towards people…and I’ve gratefully seen a lot of wishes that I articulated, either through speech or pen to paper in 2016 coming true in 2017 (for better or for worse, because even some of the good ones came with lessons or some kind of repercussion).
So there it is…2018…in front of us: 365 days full of beautiful, magical opportunities. But here it comes…Apart from financial targets (still an entrepreneur 😉 ), I do not have resolutions for the new year 🙂 .
Why, you ask? Well…because I’ve learned in 2017 that we are constant works in progress and live happens, it’s so messy and plans change, constantly. I can only hope to experience as much as possible and stumble, stumble and stumble, again and again. To live kindly and lovingly, should really be the only resolution for all of us.
I do, however, visualise for myself a year of continuous prosperity and personal growth. A year where I just enjoy and handle things as they come. I also see more rest and (self) love, as I have learned enough to become more picky with regards to the projects I take on. I’m realising how fortunate I am to be in the luxurious position, where I get to be picky on which jobs to take on, so why not make use of it. Moreover, I see a healthy, fitter, stronger version of myself, more mentally and socially balanced. And I see a lot of traveling and adventure, starting january 2018 with Boston & New York. I just can’t wait!!
”When the root is deep, there is no reason to fear the wind”. I found that 2017 has rooted me and my businesses, so whatever winds come along in 2018, I’m flexible to bend and fearlessly ready!
Hoping you have a lot of beautiful memories and solid lessons to look back on for 2017 and wishing you all a healthy, happy, loving, prosperous 2018! Let’s make some magic!
After all, it’s up to you and you only…and the best is yet to come 😉 .
Oh, and I might not say this enough, but to have you here or on my social media, watching, ”listening”/ reading and spending your time with me and my thoughts instead of doing anything else at the moment, makes me the most grateful. Thank you!!
Sending you all my LOVE & LIGHT, party hard & be safe!
Nadira
P.S.1 Apparently 2017 was a sexy year on Instagram haha, grateful for the love! Not following yet? Click on the picture below 😉
P.S.2 In case you were wondering: earrings in first picture are by Dori Csengeri. If you’re interested in this stunning jewellery brand and are located in the Netherlands, contact the exclusive Dutch agent Limor.
So Special?
”You are unique. Just like everyone else”.
We all like to believe that we are so special. But are we really?
We all want to be seen, recognised for who we are, acknowledged, appreciated, loved, celebrated. We love to be chosen, whether it is getting picked out of the group to play sports in a team or your crush choosing you over all the other boys or girls in school.
We all want to be liked, making for popular hashtags such as #like #like4like #follow4follow, as we also want to be followed, because we want to show as many people as possible how special (and awesome) we are and our life is.
But at the same time…in today’s day and age…Swipe right, Swipe left…For you, there are 10 others. With over 700 million active monthly users on Instagram, chances are it’s even more than 10 ;-). Aren’t we all replaceable? What makes you so special really?
I know what you’re thinking…life isn’t Tinder (or Grinder or any of the other mating app’s out there)…and of course, not everyone is exactly like you, but there are enough with the same interests, ideals; similar talents, ways and even looks. The same sense of humor, way of talking, walking, fears, dreams, taste in music, fashion, art etc, etc. Is there anything exceptionally unique these days anyway?
Also, did you know you’re actually programmed to think you’re special? It’s called Pseudo-exceptionalism—the unearned conviction that we are exceptional, superior to others because we were born…us.
Consider this, and a simple (maybe a little too simple, but I can see logic behind it), formula by Tim Urban: Happiness = Reality – Expectations.
Most millennials have been raised by constantly being told they are ”special”. I mean, even the losing kids in contests get prizes and trophies these days, right? We receive rewards even without having to actually do something exceptionally better than others, simply because we are our special us and we showed up. Yet we are programmed to constantly compete from a young age, in sports, in beauty competitions, in business and so on…
Given the world we live in, and the fact that life in general isn’t really that easy…I think the harsh reality of life is catching up to many of us…With the automatic conviction that we are entitled to a great life, we end up very unhappy, because we expect things to come a lot easier in life.
A successful life, whether it’s a career or marriage , requires hard work, blood, sweat, tears and not just ”being special” or being entitled to, simply because we believe we are. ”If he/she can have it, so can I”… which could be true, but honestly, you will have to do something for it. Whatever it is you seek, won’t fall from the sky.
We look at the ”perfect”(ly staged) lives of others on Facebook and think the grass is greener, but tend forget that nobody posts about the struggles, the pain, the frustrations. We are programmed to always want (and aim for) the nicer car or the bigger house, without even thinking through whether it would really make us happy or give us actual meaning in life. Thus leading to unhappiness.
All of this made me think….maybe we should (try to) let go of the notion that we are so special? What’s so bad about accepting that we are all replaceable? No matter how talented, skilled, smart, beautiful…there will always be someone, somewhere…just as good (or maybe even better/more beautiful, talented etc.).
But really what’s so bad about that?
No one will ever be you in the completeness of you as a human being. But that will not bring you anything in life on it’s own.
Life is too short to worry about being special. It’s already complicated enough. Just ride the hell out of the rollercoaster, work hard for what you want, make the best of it, enjoy it, and maybe try to leave the world a little bit better than it was before. To me there is enough special in that :-).
”A flower doesn’t think of competing to the flower next to it. It just blooms”.
Love,
Nadira
P.S. I’m sure you’re really special in the eyes of at least one person in this world. Maybe that’s a bit of a consolation :-).
- Published in Self-Discovery & Growth, Written Archives 2013-2018