Alone & Complete
In June this year I had the privilege of being interviewed in Magazine 4, a news television program in my home country Suriname on ABC (Channel 4). The interview was mainly about my vision on entrepreneurship possibilities in Suriname and female empowerment. Naturally I referred to my blog for more on my ideas on the above. One of the questions I received about my blog was if I also wrote about love and relationships, and when I answered ”not really”, the question was why, because it was assumed that many might be interested in my views on this. On that note I’ve decided to write about something that I’ve been thinking about for a while.
Being in a relationship for longer than 8 years, I think many of you might think I’m not in the position to state what I’m about to tell you, yet it is in my opinion, one of the most important aspects of keeping a happy relationship.
Whether you’re in a steady relationship, or single or anywhere in between those two options, you should, at any time, feel happy, complete and content on your own.
With on your own, I mean you should be able to enjoy yourself when alone. You don’t depend on any other individual for your happiness and feeling of completion. The other individual(s) should complement your life, not be indispensable to it.
While this might logic to a lot of you (I really hope it already is), I see so many people around me waiting for approval and validation of others, which is literally the only thing that makes them feel happy and content. They can’t enjoy themselves when on their own, they need constant attention, entertainment and approval of others.
Putting yourself into a position of needing others to feel content and complete, makes you vulnerable and dependent to others and will lead you into a constant fight for happiness. Why? Because at the end of the day we are all alone in this world. We cannot fully depend on others, not even our parents or our closest loved ones, simply because of the fact that they are human, with their own battles to fight and shortcomings.
I’ve recently found myself in a phase where I felt so completely alone on this world, even while surrounded by my partner, my loving parents and very close friends. I realised that no matter how much they would want to help me, I was the only one who could really help myself with that which I was dealing with. No one might ever be able to fully give you what you want, which means you will be in search of happiness forever if waiting to find someone to give you that.
It is a process and I think the realisation of this comes to all of us at different phases in our lives, but of course, the earlier you know this, the better. We are primed by society and our environment into believing that we need an ”other half” and we have to get married and have children by some time, because only then you will be successful and guaranteed a happy life. When you’re single for too long at some point in your life, people are generally inclined to believe that something is wrong with you *Eye rolling smiley*. Given this common believe in many cultures that we are exposed to from early age, makes the fact that so many people think this way is not a surprise.
Even when you are in a relationship, it’s the sexiest thing when you can enjoy yourself just as much without one another as when together. It’s not at all selfish and very healthy to take and genuinely enjoy your alone time. I think it’s the actual definition of an independent woman or man! Neediness (in any form) is never sexy. In today’s day and age, we can all (well most of us) earn our own money, but can we actually take care of ourselves?
Believe me when I tell you that you are enough. When you start the process of getting to know yourself, and then accepting and loving yourself for who you really are, you will find that you are complete on your own. You can be genuinely happy on your own and don’t need anyone else.
You know who’s going to give you everything you want?…Yourself!
Love,
Nadira
P.S.1. I would love for you guys to tell me if you really want to read more about my ideas on love and relationships, please leave a comment below!
P.S.2. Keep scrolling to outfit details: Dress by SheIn. Shoes by Mango. Direct shopping links below!!
Shop my outfit:
Photography by Jesse Verboog.
Sorry, Not Sorry
Have you ever noticed how frequently you use the word sorry? I might secretly be a bit of a perfectionist but do I therefore need to apologize for every little messy detail in my life? I think it’s surely a point to reconsider and to question yourself, ‘am I proclaiming to be an alter ego of how people want to see me?’. Social pressures are taking the lead when it comes to people’s needlessness feeling like they need to apologize for their triumphs.
It’s like we feel obligated to say sorry because we feel like we have to. Out of politeness, respect to others and so on. We should never have to apologize for being normal human beings. Here are 5 things you should no longer apologize for:
1. Being Successful
We tend me be humble when it comes to this matter but I think we can all relate to our ambition, commitment and overwork hours at work. Being successful can intimidate others but hey, believe me when I say that it’s a fabulous thing and no need to say sorry to please anyone or for the benefit of the insecure people around you.
2. Showing our emotions.
It sounds legit yet many of us apologize for how we feel or what we think. However, we should embrace that we have the power to show how we feel and wear our hearts on our sleeves. Never apologize for being vulnerable and telling people what your heart is actually feeling.
3. Our pasts.
Things have happened and mistakes have been made but it doesn’t mean that they define us. All too often, we find ourselves apologizing for the past. It has actually helped us becoming who we are today, we fell – we came back stronger and yes, with a deeper understanding of life – the scars have taught us what we exactly want.
4. Being authentic.
Society has us where it wants us. Media exposures holds an image of how the ‘perfect’ woman (or man) should be – it’s like the unwritten standard we all think we should persist. Truth is, life is too complicated to not be yourself, you need to express yourself and embrace your uniqueness – it is your quality and definitely not something you should apologize for.
5. Always putting ourselves first.
As cliché as it may sound, love starts with yourself – it’s the most important and long-lasting relationship you will ever have. The moment you choose to put someone else before you is the moment you are putting yourself second. Follow your ambitions and love your friends and family, the rest will follow but never apologize for making your own decisions.
Sorry, not sorry…
Love,
Nadira
Keep scrolling! Photo diary continues below including all outfit details. If you click on the product pictures below, you can shop the outfit immediately. Dress & Bag: SheIn. Sandals: Missguided.
- Published in Self-Discovery & Growth, Written Archives 2013-2018
Nothing Changes, Until You Do
There is a lot happening in my life at the moment…It’s all very personal, so I cannot share any details until I’ve figured out the most important things for myself. It’s a time of deep reflection and contemplation for me, which will inevitably lead to change. It’s so scary because it’s unknown, and for the exact same reason it’s exciting as well. It’s difficult because it requires completely stepping out of my comfort zone and being honest to myself, which I haven’t been for a while.
All I know for sure is…Nothing changes until you do. The very definition of ”Insanity” by the great Albert Einstein, is ”doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results”.
So…if you want things to work out differently, you have to behave differently, which starts by thinking differently.
It’s so easy to evoke responsibility and blame everyone and everything else for the situation. The problem with that is that you’re only fooling yourself. YOU are the common denominator in every situation in your life. So always start with yourself whenever you’re in a situation you want to change. Ask yourself: ”What can I do to change the situation?”
An example is that I often observe women around me dating the same kind of men, and not the good kind. They’re not happy, yet they will keep attracting those until they learn the lesson and choose differently….and that goes for pretty much everything else in life.
Sometimes it means sucking up your pride and realising that you’re in your own way of finding happiness. It means it’s time to be really honest with yourself, instead of that story you keep telling yourself.
”The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new” – Socrates. For more on the subject of change, read my past blog ”Change”.
Love,
Nadira
Full photo diary and all outfit details below (Click on product pictures to shop the item). Another lovely fashion shop you ladies will love me for sharing is Romwe. Gorgeous, high quality fashion shipped really fast internationally.
Outfit details (Click on pictures to go to shop the look): Blouse: Romwe.
- Published in Self-Discovery & Growth, Written Archives 2013-2018
Return Your Essence To Nature
As you might know I’m a workaholic. When you own your own company…well, make that 2 companies + a soon to be launched third one + a successfully growing blog…you rarely have time for yourself. I’ve found it extremely important to make that time, because if you don’t, eventually there won’t be much energy, drive and passion left, and those are essential ingredients for success. I’ve already talked about this in one of my other posts ”Whatever Is Good For The Soul”. Turning to nature, just by taking a walk or laying in the grass for even just 30 minutes can already clear my head and calm me down in stressful times.
Even when home in Suriname, I’m still working every day. I do however, make sure I take (half)days off to head into the beautiful interior to enjoy the nature, or I enjoy a massage or an afternoon at Jacana Resort which actually combines both without having to travel to far.
In January this year I had the privilege of enjoying a full afternoon of zen within 10 minutes driving of my home in Paramaribo.
Jacana Amazon Wellness Resort is really just a paradise right in the middle of the city. The moment you step in, you find yourself in an entirely different world…A green and peaceful world in the middle of the Amazon rainforest. A world where the atmosphere of the beautifully landscaped tropical gardens, is enhanced by the warm welcome and exceptional service where you will be surrounded with as a guest. A world in which every element with a critical eye for detail and love for nature is designed . A world that offers the perfect balance of comfort, convenience, tranquility and entertainment …
You can book your stay in different luxurious suites, but also just enjoy an afternoon enjoying the pool with waterfall, the gorgeous botanical garden, the spa & gym and amazing food. You can also have your business meeting there, or take your kids with you because they will enjoy the playground (and the pool of course!).
Outfit details: Bikini from Victoria’s Secret. Metallic Tattoos from Chique Tattoos.
The skirt is from a flea market in Rome, Italy. Scroll down to the end for a ”ready to shop” selection of similar bikini’s and skirts. You can thank me later! 😉
Enjoy my ”Return Your Essence To Nature” Photo Diary, which really captures the Jacana Amazon Wellness Resort experience.
Photography by Ish Ramautarsing. Enjoy Jacana Amazon Wellness Resort just as much as I did, book here. For more photos at Jacana, check out my previous post Lemonade.
Shop my style:
Metallic Tattoos: www.chiquetattoos.nl
- Published in Adventure & Travel, Written Archives 2013-2018
Lemonade
What Beyoncé has recently taught me…
Her newly released Lemonade has inspired a spiral of thoughts that lead to this blog, which are interesting from both a marketing and a personal growth perspective.
While everyone is obsessing about ”Becky with the good hair”, all I see is the brilliance of it. While Beyoncé lashes out at Jay-Z, suggesting adultery, and the entire album basically revolves around her heartbreak, it has the entire world speculating. Yet, what most people tend to forget is that the album Lemonade is released exclusively through Tidal, which is a streaming service company co-owned by both Beyoncé and Jay-Z (among others), making it one of the smartest money making endeavours and everyone is falling for it. It just makes Beyoncé and Jay-Z brilliant entrepreneurs and it’s something we can all learn from.
You see, Beyoncé with her A-star status is perceived by many as ideal. The idea that she has to deal with the same things that many of us have to deal with such as infidelity, heartbreak, insecurities etc. provides many with a certain degree of comfort. ”If Beyoncé can be cheated on, well then maybe it’s not the case that I’m not good enough” could be a thought of some lady who’s been cheated on. By making the album personal, it adds so much value to it, making it more than just a few new Beyoncé songs. Tidal described the Lemonade concept as ”every woman’s journey of self-knowledge and healing”. So what can we conclude from this?
What I’ve learned from it, is the following:
1. From a marketing perspective: Product/Brand Experience determines your product’s value. The entire Lemonade concept is a confirmation of the fact that creating an experience around your product or brand enhances the perception of the value of it, because people are able to relate on a certain level. In this case, even if the rumours and insinuations are true, Jay-z and Beyoncé are still the ones laughing hardest (together) as all they have been hearing is (even more)”Cha Ching, Cha Ching” since April 23.
2. From a personal growth perspective: The grass is never greener on the other side.
We can learn from Beyoncé’s honesty (assuming her story is true and her heartbreak is genuine), that we all have our issues to deal with. Whether it’s money problems, heartbreak, or something else, nobody is exempted from it. The grass is not greener on the other side, although we might often think so. Especially nowadays with social media, where people tend to share (only) the better things in their lives, it seems as everyone’s grass might be greener. But clearly even Queen B has her issues and no perfect life.
3. From a personal growth & marketing perspective: Make that Lemonade!
When life hands you lemons…you buy some sugar and you make €€€ selling lemonade. Transform your heartbreak, pain, struggle, issues into something positive, that you can use for yourself to grow, personally, and if possible even financially. You have the power to take control. Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% how you choose to react to it. You can choose to make that lemonade, instead of crying over the lemons your where handed.
So pull a Sasha Fierce and turn your pain into a better you, a better world and even €€€!
Mantra for the week:
”Storms are always temporary. With every difficulty I come out polished, stronger and prepped for blessing beyond my wildest dreams”.
Love,
Nadira
P.S:….*…All above is based on the assumption that there is at least some truth and sincerity in Lemonade the concept.*
Outfit details: Croptop by Wulterkens. Jeans by Nastygal.
Metallic Tattoos by Chique Tattoos.
Photography by Surej Tul.
Special Thank you to Jacana Amazon Welness Resort for their hospitality!
While I had the feeling I was in the middle of a tropical heaven, Jacana is actually 10 minutes driving from my home in Paramaribo city. If you want to surround yourself with exotic nature in combination with a luxury treatment and experience that zen feeling, while still close to the city, Jacana Resort is definitely the place to be!
You can book your stay at Jacana HERE.
- Published in Self-Discovery & Growth, Written Archives 2013-2018
Manipulate Your Own Mind
Starting From Small, It Becomes Big – The trick to manipulate your own mind.
One thing I’ve learned up to this point in life is that the mind has a memory. And it’s damn smart; it “subconsciously” recognizes patterns. Once the patterns become a habit, it’s hard to stop. It requires extra mental strength to break the habit. This is why it’s so difficult to stop doing something that you are used to doing, like smoking or becoming a morning person. At the same time, it offers the opportunity to create better habits for life, given that you are aware of this and have the mental power to pursue an activity long enough for your mind to make it a recognizable pattern.
“Starting from small, it becomes big.”
Starting with white lies, repeatedly, you become a compulsive liar.
Starting with shoplifting a candy bar, repeatedly, you become a thief.
At the same time…
Starting with exercising at least 3 times a week, repeatedly, you become fit.
Starting with eating healthy everyday, repeatedly, you become well and healthy.
Starting with walking with your back straight, repeatedly, you have an elegant posture.
Starting with smiling and being positive, you become a happy person to be around inside and out and attract people with the same energy to you.
Starting with giving unused clothes and loose change to the homeless, repeatedly, you become empathetic and giving.
Starting with sharing things with others, repeatedly, you become generous.
Starting with only doing things that align with your core values, repeatedly, you are a person of meaningful values.
Starting with reading, repeatedly, you become addicted to learning.
Starting with making sure you get what you need done for the day, repeatedly, you are always on top of everything.
Starting with being focused, each task at a time, repeatedly, you can easily get into the flow and be productive.
Starting with thinking outside the box, repeatedly, you become extremely creative.
Starting with getting out of your comfort zone, repeatedly, you become confident and fearless.
And so on…
Conclusion:
Starting with telling yourself what you want to achieve in life, repeatedly, you will get there.
Starting with just getting it started, repeatedly, anything you want to be and do, you can be and do.
So instead of thinking ‘’It’s too hard to stop or change’’ or ‘’I don’t know where to start’’, just start, and go step by step, day by day. Self-Mastery comes with consistency or as the great Aristotle once said ‘’We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.’’
Love,
Nadira
P.S. Pictures taken on a lovely day out in Haarlem, the Netherlands. Such a lovely city.
Outfit details: Sweater: H&M, Pants: Missguided, Heels: Mango, Sunglasses: ZeroUv, Lips: Dolce K by Kyliecosmetics.
The Unfair & The Precious
The past 2 weeks have been like a crazy, emotional rollercoaster. From celebrating that selected items of the Wulterkens Fitness Collection are available at Intersport DUO, to mourning the loss of a very close friend, almost family of ours.
It makes me realize that I am more alive than ever, so deeply experiencing these highs and lows. More so it makes me appreciate life more than ever. Like a slap in the face, the realization that it all can be over, just like that, and you have no control whatsoever. It doesn’t matter who we are, what we do, how many followers we have on Instagram and how much money in our bank account. Scary isn’t it?
The Priest in the church at the farewell ceremony said it beautifully: ‘’The only thing we are guaranteed from the first moment we breathe in life, is Death’’.
It’s exactly a week ago, June 2nd, since I turned 26; needless to say it wasn’t much of a celebration. The day itself flew by really fast, because I had my Digital Marketing exam (part of my part-time Master’s program at the University), and of course, due to everything (emotions, loads of work), I still had a lot of last minute studying to do.
I did however, take that night, and the days after, as days of reflection. Reflecting on life, which suddenly seemed more precious than normal. I was overwhelmed by all the sweet birthday wishes from family, friends, (business) acquaintances and even strangers. I am extremely grateful for all the love and everything in this life.
I took a step back and realized that, I’m not where I want to be in life yet, though I know I am on the right path towards this, and I am getting closer every day, step by step.
However, if somehow, it is decided that my time on this earth is over, I will be more than satisfied looking back on life. Of course, there is still so much I would want to have accomplished, and yes, I would have wanted to see more of this beautiful world. But I’ve been privileged, in so many ways. Maybe you guys think it’s creepy that I think this way, and believe me, I have absolutely no intention of leaving anytime soon, but I do think that it’s important to reflect on things, because it does effect the way you move forward in life.
We, as a society are automatically pressured into always wanting and needing more. More money, more cars, bigger boats, more convenience, more luxury. And in the end, we’ve spent all our precious time chasing all this, and when we’re gone, well, we don’t take any of it with us (as far as I know).
It’s never going to be enough anyway, everytime you’ve reached a milestone, it’s likely you’re already busy with achieving another one, because we’re always growing and wanting more.
So for myself, I’ve decided that I want to hold on to this ‘’freedom’’. Being able to be satisfied with the little things, the amazingly loving people around me, every sunset and sunrise, being alive, and healthy. And the rest…is extra!
Don’t get me wrong, I will still be working hard to achieve my goals, but I will give myself more of a break once in a while. There will always be more important things, because we set such high expectations for ourselves (atleast, I do). However, let’s say it would be your last day on this earth. My bet is that suddenly, the things that we are always so busy with, and are so important, aren’t even close to important anymore. You have to ask yourself, what would be important on that day? And I think that whatever that is, should be the focus moving forward.
The sudden and unfair loss of someone so young, full of life and love, just puts these things into perspective.
Life is unbelievably precious, spend it wisely!
Love,
Nadira
We went to the beautiful city centre of Utrecht and discovered some gorgeous, rare spots, most would not guess to be Utrecht, in the Netherlands. I’ve been wanting to do an ‘’All White Everything’’-look for some time now. I was wearing my sneakers for convenience and the plan was to finally do a shoot with my beautiful Giuseppe Zanotti X Kanye West ‘’Cruel Summer’’ Heels, I got some time ago (2013) and are more like a trophy in my closet. They are gorgeous, but not very comfortable to walk in, especially not in the city centre of Utrecht haha. So it turned into two different looks, sporty and chique. Which one is your favorite?
Outfitdetails: Dress: ASOS, Sandals: Giuseppe Zanotti X Kanye West: Cruel Summer, Sneakers: Nike, Necklace: Swarovski, Metallic Tattoos: Chique Tattoos; get 10% off with code NADIRA on www.chiquetattoos.nl
”And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years” – Abraham Lincoln
”At the end of the day, let there be no excuses, no explanations, no regrets” – Steve Maraboli
- Published in Self-Discovery & Growth, Written Archives 2013-2018
Have It All
The transition…From 30 degrees to temperatures around freezing point…From relaxation to kind of (a little bit) of chaos….From zen by the pool and partying to deadlines, obligations and commitments…From home in Suriname to home in the Netherlands…
I feel tired and stressed, but at the same time happy and excited, because despite the big load of work, it’s all lots of new amazing things happening, new opportunities & projects and growth!
Coming up the next few months from Wulterkens is a new sport collection,a new fashion collection, andddd something bigger, that I can’t tell just yet….Oh and at the moment we are swamped with the SALE, be sure to check out the Wulterkens website.
In Suriname, in the beginning I was going crazy, there was so much work that I couldn’t do, and I wasn’t used to not doing very much. I realized how much of a workaholic I’ve become, I literally had to kick off and take satisfaction out of only 2-3 hours of working a day.
I spent the remainder time mostly at my mom’s home during the day, at my dad’s home during the evenings, really enjoyed the quality time with my parents. Some days I enjoyed catching up with old friends and there were lots of fun parties. But apart from that, I also spent a lot of time thinking…thinking back on the previous year, what did we accomplish, what did we do wrong, which of the things could we have done better; What do we want to accomplish in 2015, what do we have to change in our current ways to be able to accomplish these goals….etc etc.
I’ve also thought a lot about myself, the woman I’ve become, the kind of woman I want to be; thought about my relationships with my partner, family, friends: Who do I want to spend more or less energy on. How will I incorporate more balance in my life….Is it even possible to create a balance when there is mostly chaos? I’m at this point in my life where I want so much, and I want it all at the same time…is it crazy to think that I can have it all?
I think a lot of people might think I am being too hard on myself…But if I don’t do it Now, when will I….I am 25, with the entire world at my feet, no better time than now to give my all, right?
It shouldn’t be so hard living a fullfilling, happy, content life by managing a continuously growing Brand/business with the ultimate goal to leave a mark and become financially free, while within the next 1,5 year obtaining my Masters degree in Marketing at the University, while also traveling and still enjoying quality time with my soulmate & partner, a selected group of friends and family (I don’t even dare to call that a social life)…oh and also while getting in the best shape ever….Nah, not that hard! Another 24 hours a day would surely be helpful, but oh well..I’ll manage. Nobody said it was going to be easy, but I know it’s going to be worth it.
Being able to accomplish all of this in these prime years, will make a good story for later when I’m old and wrinkly on my Yacht somewhere in the Caribbean. But also being able to inspire others, to show them that it is possible, as long as you’re willing to work.
I am extremely grateful that I have both the vision and the opportunities to be able to do so and I know that with the right attitude and belief in combination with working hard it should be a possibility…I guess time will tell…What do you guys think? Is it possible to have it all?
“Shoot for the moon, cause even if you miss, you will land among the stars’’
Love,
Nadira
My outfit is one of my favorite I wore in Suriname, it’s sexy, but chique and even a bit sporty; kind of J.LO inspired. I first decided to wear a nude lip with my hair half up, but halfway during the shoot I felt like spicing it up with a bit more color and a little wilder, loose hair. Which look is your fave?
Details: Pants: Missguided ; Top: Missguided ; Shoes: Missguided, older collection ; Purse: Zara, older collection ; Lipsticks: Hug me by MAC & Chili by MAC
”…But one idea described her best: she was unstoppable and she took anything she wanted with a smile”
- 1
- 2