5 Realisations That Make Life Easier
All change is not growth, as all movement is not forward.
I talk a lot about change in my previous posts: The Unknown, Change, You Have To Do The Hard Things, Nothing Changes Until You Do and more…
But in this post, I want to emphasise Growth. It’s part of our natural process, but I found that consciously acknowledging and reflecting back on growth, brings a lot of valuable insights and wisdom saving you a lot when dealing with life in the future.
As you are (consciously) shifting, you will begin to realise that you are not the same person you used to be. The things you used to tolerate have become intolerable. When you once remained quiet, you are now speaking your truth. Where you once battled and argued, you are now choosing to remain silent. You are beginning to understand the value of your voice and there are some situations that no longer deserve your time, energy, and focus.
Some things I’ve learned through evaluating my own growth:
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There is only one really good life…that’s the life you know you want….and you make it yourself…
Though it’s never really one vision, and it’s subject to change as our needs change through different phases of our live. A simple and funny example of this is looking back at our 7-year old self who (probably) didn’t want to eat vegetables and didn’t like an early bed-time; whereas for me 20 years later – I crave healthy food (and miss my mom preparing it for me), and I have a very exclusive love relationship with my bed, which my partner is very envious of 😀 . The same principle goes for everything. What used to be your vision of life, doesn’t have to be the same over time, but regardless of this vision changing, you’re still the pilot on your own flight. -
In any given moment we have two options: To step forward into growth or to step back into safety.
The first often scary and uncomfortable, but always with great rewards (exciting next-level changes and opportunities); the latter being easy but non-satisfying, as there’s always that little voice inside that will keep nagging you for not taking that step forward, since you are clearly not happy where you’re standing. Also, there will always be the question ”what if..?”. Realising this saves you a lot of time when pondering on whether or not to take certain steps in the future. -
You start dying slowly when you become a slave to your habits, walking everyday on the same paths, if you do not change your routine. Especially when you are not satisfied with your love-life, your job or surroundings and you choose not to change your life.
I know so many people, who choose to be a victim of their surroundings, and they are so unhappy, all the while there is a lot they can change. Even if it’s just step by step starting with ”100 little, easy to change, but make all the difference” things. -
You become a master of your life when you learn how to control where your attention goes. Value what you give your time and energy to.
Choose your battles. As easy as it is to give in to so many triggers around us, stop and ask yourself ”what will pursuing this bring me?”. It’s a simple principle. Everything you give time and energy to grows, so you decide by directing your attention what your life looks like. Knowing this…and applying it everyday, is power. -
You are under no obligation to be the same person you were a year, a month or even 15 minutes ago. You have to right to grow. No apologies.
We are products of our pasts, but that doesn’t mean we have to be prisoners of it. Don’t let anything limit you into changing your thinking, attitude or anything else that you know and feel will bring you to a better place in life.
And don’t forget this…
” You are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work-in-progress at the same time”.
I’ve said this before, but I emphasise it again…One doesn’t exclude the other as we never stop being a work-in-progress until our passing. So love yourself and all that you are in every phase. Embrace even the broken and ugly pieces, as they are triggers for you to actually take those steps to a better you and a better life. Besides; perfection is overrated, your flaws make you a masterpiece and your tragedies make your story one worth telling.
Love,
Nadira
I love this picture below, as it describes me perfectly stumbling and balancing my way through the whirlwind called Life. Outfit details: ”Red Rose”. Photography: Fons de Keijzer
- Published in Self-Discovery & Growth, Written Archives 2013-2018
The Unknown
I’ve decided to let you guys in on one of the things I initially intended to keep to myself. Because it has appeared to be a valuable life lesson to me, I figured it won’t hurt me to expose my vulnerable side a little bit, as it might help a lot of you through your journeys as well.
One of my frustrations that I’ve been working through in the past few months is having difficulty with ”not knowing”. I’ve always known myself as someone who knows exactly what she wants. I would describe myself as the type who always had a plan and everything figured out, but the past year I felt completely lost. Now I bet most of you are quite surprised reading this, because I know I always seem to have to all together, but the truth is, I’ve actually been quite a mess…(just really good at hiding it 😉 ).
I found myself falling into this gaping hole, completely lost. Despite running two companies, I still had the feeling that I didn’t know what I wanted to do in life; I started questioning everything I was doing. I didn’t know who I wanted to be, I literally felt as if I didn’t know anything anymore,”who am I, what do I stand for, am I on the right path, am I (good) enough?”….And it was SO scary! I lost my vision, my purpose, my drive and mojo. Especially for a control freak like me, it felt like I was going through the worst time of my life. I thought I was losing it honestly. And the worst part was, nobody could help me. Because nobody can answer these questions. for you, you need to find your own way.
So after months of inner-struggling and constantly in agony due to everything which seemed to be”unknown”, I decided to let it go. Because fighting to know wasn’t working out, it was actually only making me doubt everything even more. I let go of the panic I felt when I thought about everything I thought I should have had figured out by age of 27. I let go of the tremendous amount of self-pressure and doubt and said to myself, ”you know what Nadira, you’ll figure it out”, it’ll become clear, just focus on doing the things that trigger your passion, make you happy and give you energy. ”Eventually all the dots will connect”.
And the moment I did that, and used my precious energy for doing good for myself instead of fighting with myself, everything started changing. I knew I needed a lot to change, I wasn’t happy with where I was, but I didn’t know which direction to go. But the moment I stopped pressuring myself in needing to know, my next steps started to become clear to me. Amazing opportunities came out of ”nowhere”, and new paths were created for me.
In conclusion: the unknown can be frightening, believe me, I know. But I also found it to be a place where I discovered abilities I didn’t even know I had. And I believe the unknown is also the same place where I’ll accomplish more than I ever dreamed possible. I would advice to let go of the fear and just embrace it, let it reveal all those things you would never encounter if you’d always want to control and plan out everything in advance. In the end, I found the unknown to be like a breath of fresh air, exactly what I needed when I needed it. I learned that not knowing doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing.
I hope you enjoy my ‘‘Parisian Chique” photo diary shot in the rain (Yes, we die-hard like that ;-)!). All outfit details are listed below. Also check out my last fall/winter 2016 favourites post for all my fall fashion must haves, which I’m sure you’ll love!
And remember this:
”We do not fear the unknown. We fear what we project into the unknown”- Teal Swan.
Love,
Nadira
- Published in Self-Discovery & Growth, Written Archives 2013-2018