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12 July 2025

Tag: focus

When Things Don’t Go Your Way

Saturday, 23 April 2016 by Nadira

For quite a while I’ve been struggling. Some of you who know me a little bit by now know that I am someone who wants a lot of things, and usually it’s all at the same time. I aspire to do/achieve a lot, which leads to disappointment when things for whatever reason don’t go as planned in my head.

IMG_1894kopieI think we’ve all been there, it can be something such as not getting to where you want to be in a certain amount of time that you’ve planned, or investing a lot into a project that fails. This, depending on how important it is in your life, can really keep you up at night. Many of us, especially those who are dedicated or emotionally involved tend to hang on and persevere, in the hope/belief that it is what’s good for them, and they have to have it no matter what it takes or how long. While I’m all for perseverance, and never giving up…there is a point where you have to take a step back, and evaluate your situation.

IMG_1866kopieWhile doing so myself…suddenly, it hit me…and man-oh-man am I grateful for the extent of which my eyes have opened for certain things not going my way. I believe everything happens for a reason, and after evaluating several similar situations in my life where I felt that I had to have something, which eventually didn’t go my way…I found that I was better off each and every time.

IMG_1940kopieThere is that saying ‘’when one door closes, another one opens’’, and I found it to be very true. Recently, I found myself saying to my partner about a project that fell through that we were bummed about, that ”if it weren’t for that, we wouldn’t be able to take on another one”, which ended up being much more lucrative. While this is in business, I strongly believe the same goes for everything else in life. When you let go of what you ‘’think’’ you want, that is the moment you allow what you truly deserve to enter into your life.

IMG_1858kopieFocus on what happiness, love, and peace feels like, but don’t focus too hard on trying to work out how exactly you will get there. Sometimes we can become so blinded by what is in front of us that it prevents us from seeing what can become FOR us.
There is much more for you to see, experience, and learn. Who you feel you need to be with may not be best for you. The job you feel you just have to have, may not give you that joy and security that you truly want.

Do you want to have a life that is full of joy and peace, or do you want to encounter a string of events that completely turns out the way you wish? Sometimes they go hand in hand, but other times you must sacrifice one for another.

IMG_1914kopieA close friend of mine recently told me: ‘’Don’t be afraid to let go because of the fear that you will never experience something so special again’’. Because one way or the other you will, it just might come in a different shape than you expect.

There is a difference between visualizing your ideal reality and visualizing your heart’s’ desire. In an ideal reality you may marry that celebrity crush but feel unloved. Move into that great big house, yet feel empty. Our acquisitions feed off visualization and focus, our spiritual growth, however, feeds on positive emotion.

IMG_1930kopieWhat are you still holding onto today that you feel you cannot live without or let go? Life is constantly changing, we are constantly changing, so sometimes it’s better to let go and embrace new possibilities and opportunities. Do not forget that all that you need is within you…and while I type this, it’s a big note to myself, because I honestly tend to forget that sometimes.

When a door closes knock on it a few times. But if it still doesn’t open, let it stay close. In career, in love, in life. When you see the period at the end of the sentence, don’t try to turn it into a comma. Know when something is over, and move on to whatever better is waiting. 

Love,

Nadira

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Outfitdetails: Dress, Coat & Shoes: Missguided. Lipcolor: Candy K by Kyliecosmetics.

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  • Published in Self-Discovery & Growth, Written Archives 2013-2018
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Manipulate Your Own Mind

Friday, 18 March 2016 by Nadira

Starting From Small, It Becomes Big – The trick to manipulate your own mind.

One thing I’ve learned up to this point in life is that the mind has a memory. And it’s damn smart; it “subconsciously” recognizes patterns. Once the patterns become a habit, it’s hard to stop. It requires extra mental strength to break the habit. This is why it’s so difficult to stop doing something that you are used to doing, like smoking or becoming a morning person. At the same time, it offers the opportunity to create better habits for life, given that you are aware of this and have the mental power to pursue an activity long enough for your mind to make it a recognizable pattern.
“Starting from small, it becomes big.”

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Starting with white lies, repeatedly, you become a compulsive liar.
Starting with shoplifting a candy bar, repeatedly, you become a thief.

At the same time…

Starting with exercising at least 3 times a week, repeatedly, you become fit.
Starting with eating healthy everyday, repeatedly, you become well and healthy.
Starting with walking with your back straight, repeatedly, you have an elegant posture.
Starting with smiling and being positive, you become a happy person to be around inside and out and attract people with the same energy to you.

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Starting with giving unused clothes and loose change to the homeless, repeatedly, you become empathetic and giving.
Starting with sharing things with others, repeatedly, you become generous.
Starting with only doing things that align with your core values, repeatedly, you are a person of meaningful values.

IMG_1702pStarting with reading, repeatedly, you become addicted to learning.
Starting with making sure you get what you need done for the day, repeatedly, you are always on top of everything.
Starting with being focused, each task at a time, repeatedly, you can easily get into the flow and be productive.

IMG_1775pStarting with thinking outside the box, repeatedly, you become extremely creative.
Starting with getting out of your comfort zone, repeatedly, you become confident and fearless.
And so on…

Conclusion:
Starting with telling yourself what you want to achieve in life, repeatedly, you will get there.
Starting with just getting it started, repeatedly, anything you want to be and do, you can be and do.

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So instead of thinking ‘’It’s too hard to stop or change’’ or ‘’I don’t know where to start’’, just start, and go step by step, day by day. Self-Mastery comes with consistency or as the great Aristotle once said ‘’We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.’’

Love,
Nadira

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P.S. Pictures taken on a lovely day out in Haarlem, the Netherlands. Such a lovely city.
Outfit details: Sweater: H&M, Pants: Missguided, Heels: Mango, Sunglasses: ZeroUv, Lips: Dolce K by Kyliecosmetics.

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  • Published in Business & Entrepreneurship, Self-Discovery & Growth, Written Archives 2013-2018
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Raise Your Standards

Monday, 01 February 2016 by Nadira

The Master, The Fighter & The Moonwalker

It’s February 1, 2016 and I honestly feel like I haven’t properly started 2016…at least not the way I wanted to. Having spent half of the month of January in my home country Suriname, I was out of my usual working environment. When I arrived in the Netherlands, I really needed some time to get back out of vacation mode into a normal routine, with a serious case of Jet lag hitting me combined with a stubborn flu, from which I’m still recovering two weeks later.

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Right before I left for Suriname for the holidays I felt so overwhelmed by everything I was doing that I knew I was close to suffering from a burn out. For a long time I suffered from writer’s block and lack of inspiration, just because I was trying to accomplish too many things at the same time (which is also why you haven’t heard from me for quite a while). I’m not the most creative person, but I found myself completely lacking creativity. It felt like I lost my Mojo.

IMG_1466pSuriname, which still feels like home, was good to me, as it always is. The (too little) time spent relaxing, swimming, sleeping, taking walks in nature has done me good, yet still when I came back to the Netherlands, I didn’t feel ready to handle the chaos again. I still don’t feel completely ready, but I guess I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.

IMG_1498p2016 is going to be an interesting year, at the least. It’s the year I’ll be graduating from the University with a Master’s degree in Marketing. It’s the year I will officially launch my third business Madame Selfmade, which I will tell you guys more about soon (for real this time). It’s also the year I’ll bring my other 2 businesses Customized Wear and Wulterkens to a higher level. With a completely newly furnished office, and an entire new look and feel of my Sport, Fashion & Lifestyle brand Wulterkens, it has become both exciting and challenging to bring it to the next level.
2016 is the year of ‘’Raising Standards’’.
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I hope to find my balance of being the workaholic my 3 businesses + thesis require me to be, with exploring meditation and boxing. Quite a combination, I know! I’m already working on becoming more skilled in Boxing, as I found it’s the perfect workout for me to blow off steam, and it’s most definitely the best way to get/stay in a killer shape. Meditation appears to be more similar to boxing than I thought, as it is more of a ”fight” than anything else now. Luckily, I have the best guidance for both boxing and meditation. Another goal of mine this year is to learn the Moonwalk! (the people who know me closely are probably laughing out really loud right know, but it’s just soooo friggin’ cool, so I’mma do it!).
Raising standards (with everything) & Be even more Badass than before….Sounds like a plan right?IMG_1111p
As you can tell from my goals and responsibilities, it’s easy for me to become overwhelmed and burnt out. I’ve given it a lot of thought, but for me, doing less is simply not an option at the moment. I’ve always been a multitasker, but one thing I’m working on now, is really taking things step by step. With a lot of focus on each step/task, and not thinking about the other steps/tasks until I’ve completed the first. This focus helps me with completing the tasks at hand with success, without becoming stressed with all the other things I have to do. So I write down everything I have to do, I prioritise them according the level of importance or urgency, and then I just focus on doing whatever needs to be done first. One thing at a time, and so on…
While this seems logical and easy, it’s really not if your head is all over the place, and you think you can do 4 things at the same time and still be efficient. This was probably the reason I was close to a burn out 2 months ago, so I’m hoping that by mastering this ”step by step, one thing at a time- technique”, I will be able to handle things better with less stress, be more efficient and productive.IMG_1461p
I would love to hear about your resolutions and how they are going so far. Or maybe you are starting along with me today, February first? Remember, you can start (over) at any time, you don’t need to wait another year. All you need is a new dawn and a new day!
I had to really discipline myself the past 2 weeks to get into it, and so far, so good. Still have a long way to go, but nobody ever said it was going to be easy. If it was easy, everyone would do it! ;-). Oh…and if you happen to know any other handy tactics on dealing with the above, please share!

Love,

Nadira

P.S. As some of you might know, I am a fan of simplicity, and there is nothing more intriguing than a woman in a simple, little black dress. The one I’m wearing is called MARA, exclusively available at one of my favorite Dutch online shops www.jurkjes.com.
Heels & Clutch: Zara. Necklace Tattoo: www.chiquetattoos.nl. Earrings: H&M.
Lipstick: A mix of Chili by MAC Cosmetics & 85722 by Contem1g Make up.

IMG_1137pIMG_1037p1IMG_1235pIMG_1082p1Location: Hotel Royal Torarica, Paramaribo, Suriname.
When on vacation in my beautiful home country Suriname, I would definitely recommend The Torarica Group of Hotels, if you find luxury and comfort a must. I had the privilege to shoot in the Royal botanical garden, with peaceful and impressive Buddha, ponds with mini waterfalls and local Tropical fishes, the saltwater swimming pool, Gazebo’s, a unique giant chess board and the Mangrove forest along the Suriname River.
Big thank you to Royal Torarica for the hospitality!


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Photography by Surej Tul, special thank you! Copyrights: Nadira R. Ramautarsing.

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  • Published in Business & Entrepreneurship, Self-Discovery & Growth, Written Archives 2013-2018
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Against A Lot Of Odds

Wednesday, 25 March 2015 by Nadira

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I’m back from what I’ve experienced as a too fast going rollercoaster that launched me right into zombieland.

We moved  into our beautiful and much larger office space where we can divide our 2 businesses, a separate office for Customized wear and a special showroom for Wulterkens Clothing, while still connected. For us the perfect combination. We did have some bumps in the road though, one of it was that the first few days we didn’t have any central heating, while still winter, so it was freezing, which got me very sick. There were some other issues as well, but I will not bore you with those details. Right before moving, we launched our new sport collection (part 1), but had some problems with delivery on our stock, so everything piled up. So much to do, so little time, lots of difficulties… and not long after I had my Business Marketing exam, which of course required a lot of studying. For those of you who don’t know, I am doing a part time Master program at the University in Amsterdam. (*Update 31-3-2015*: Just heard I aced my Business Marketing exam with a grade of 8,5 (out of 10), so I guess it was worth it!)
As excited as I was for all the new things happening (new office, new collection), I think you can imagine the amount of cortisol (stress-hormone) flowing through my body, while struggling to recover.

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So it’s safe to say I’ve been a little busy, but hey what else is new! We’re back and we’ve just launched part 2 of the Wulterkens Sport Collection, check it out on www.wulterkensclothing.com! Coming soon (April) is our Summer Fashion Collection and another surprise, so stay tuned for that.

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What I’ve learned from the pas month is that I can do and handle so much more than I thought I could. Another confirmation, in retrospect, that we tend to limit ourselves in our minds most of the time, but when certain situations demand action on our behalf and it’s just an absolute must (you know you can’t hide under the bed covers even if you’d really love to), it suddenly appears that you are able to do whatever it is you need to do.
If someone would have told me a month ago, what was going to happen (read: go wrong), I would have thought ‘’No thank you, I can’t handle that’’ and I would have skipped the entire moving part and a few other things.

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‘’All limits are self-imposed’’, one of my favorite quotes and it’s nice to have a good reminder of it! So whenever you get into a crazy busy, too much to handle, everything going wrong and demanding your attention kind of phase, just breathe, and go with the flow.  Don’t go hide in a corner, because although the temptation will be strong, it won’t solve anything and may lead to even bigger problems. So take responsibility, do all you can and it will pay off. If it doesn’t kill you, it only makes you stronger.

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I’ve started training and eating healthy again since this week, in preparation for summer. #hotsummerbody, who’s with me?
Controlling my sugar & carb intake and keeping a regular workout schedule was just too much for me during the past month, so I let myself go a little, which has become visible in the mirror and I’m not happy with it, so it’s time to get strict and back at it.
I will be doing an update post on my fitness routine, as I will have a slightly different approach for the next few months. I’m also planning on doing some videos, with some good exercises that you guys can try that do a lot of good. If you girls/guys have special requests, please let me know, I will try to incorporate that.

IMG_7017photoshop Another great thing I just found out (to my surprise!) from the statistics of the blog is that for 2015 Lead When Others Follow has been viewed by awesome people from over 60 different countries. How cool is that! I want you all to know that I never expected this when I started blogging and I am extremely grateful to all of you who find my crazy life interesting and I really hope you can learn a little bit or get inspired.

Lots of love to all of you!

Nadira

Outfitdetails: My Wulterkens Varsity Jacket is from the new Functional Fashion Collection, Sporty, but chique, check it out here, also  available in black & white.
Pants from ZARA Basic, Sneakers from All Star, Turtle Neck Sweater from WE.

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Change

Sunday, 22 February 2015 by Nadira

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Change…As inevitable as it is, some fear it, some love it. I prefer to embrace it, because change is given.
Nothing in this world is free from change, everything is subject to a form of change or at the least a perception of change.

Change for me often comes with novelty and freshness, in the form of new beginnings and challenges. Even when I was younger, I would, at least twice a year, change the interior of my room. I would move the bed to another wall, and my desk to the other, facing a different angle. I would stay up all night cleaning out my closets, and organizing documents, books etc. Feeling new, fresh and relaxed afterwards. I’ve always had this longing for change after a certain period of time.

IMG_6731photoshop At the moment everything is changing, luckily for the better. I can finally announce that we are moving to a new, much bigger office for both of our companies. A separate Showroom for our Sports & Casual Brand Wulterkens & special Production area for Customized Wear.
At the same time, we are working on the launch of part 1 of the new Wulterkens’ fashionable sports collection. To say that it’s a crazy busy time is an understatement, but we are starting a new chapter. A new beginning where our businesses are taken to a higher level, something we’ve been working on for a long time now. I am super happy, grateful and excited!

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One thing I have clearly noticed is: A change in Focus = A change in lifestyle. You get what you focus on, so the smart thing would be to focus on what you want. If you want things to change for the better, you have to do and be everything that will make it better. In line with the law of attraction, I’ve experienced that what you focus your energy on, you will attract and create as a reality, whether it’s doing something physical or just a thought.

From this perspective, change is beautiful and infinite. I just love something about the fact that at any point in life, we can choose to change ourselves and our situation; the fact that we always have the choice to start fresh and create, whatever comes after, to our ‘’ideal’’. It does however, require balls (courage), a lot of hard work, dedication and perseverance, since change usually doesn’t come overnight. It often requires breaking out of your comfort zone and doing less fun things. Fact is, if we really want it, we can change ourselves…our mindset, our actions, our bodies etc.
Of course we cannot always change anything and everything. One thing a lot of people do is to try to change others, which is something that rarely happens unless that significant person wants to change themselves.  Sometimes you cannot change a certain complex situation. One of my favorite quotes from my Mom in this case is: ‘’If you can change it, then do so. If you can’t change it, then accept it and change your perception of it’’. Pretty similar to Maya Angelou’s quote: ‘’If you don’t like something, change it; if you can’t change it, change your attitude’’. Relativity is key here; always choose to look on the bright side of things, which helps focus more positive energy on to your goals.

From this perspective, change = growth and taking control/responsibility/action.  Not leaving your life to what may or will be, but actively contributing in creating a life you want. Just like Steve Maraboli’s advice: ‘’Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.” or like Rumi’s advice: “Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”

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And one of my absolute favorites, which has become sort of a motto to me: ‘’Edit your life, frequently and ruthlessly, it’s your Masterpiece, after all’’.

Love,
Nadira

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“Change will not come if we wait for some other person, or if we wait for some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.” – Barack Obama

Outfitdetails: Dress: Missguided. Shoes: Aerosol. Sunglasses: Nastygal. Bracelet: Hermes Collier de Chien.

P.S.
these pictures are taken at a remarkable, historical location in my hometown Paramaribo, Suriname: Fort Zeelandia. Now partly a Museum, it has actually marked certain points of change in Surinamese history several times. Dark pages of history, unfortunately, from which too little people have learned. Those that know the history will know what I mean, but I will not elaborate on the subject. Despite the fact that I have very clear opinions regarding Politics, I’ve decided not to disclose on them in my blogs, keep it light.

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A few of my lovely readers asked me where I find the time in between the chaos to write. Well, most of the time I write concepts, when ideas come to my mind or before I go to sleep in bed. That way, all I have to do is structure it, check on spelling errors, add a few things and voila! Most of this post was written over the past 3 months.
My pictures are usually taken on the go to somewhere, so it’s little extra effort and can be planned in between my usual to do’s. Sometimes it’s hard to find a nice location though, so this does require a little bit of planning if you want to give your outfit a little more edge by matching it into an appropriate surrounding.

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Off The Grid

Monday, 09 February 2015 by Nadira

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What 30 hours without my smart phone have taught me.

The past weekend, early Sunday morning to be exact, my iPhone cable-charger broke and not long after, my phone battery was dead. At first I was very irritated; I noticed myself picking up my phone several times trying to see if there were any notifications…it went automatically, like it was an autopilot move, and a split second later I realized, oh yeah, never mind, it’s dead.

I was wondering if my mom responded to my whatsapp messages, I wanted to call my brother about his party Friday night, I wanted to post something on instagram, I wanted to add some tasks that came to mind to my planner, I knew customers and clients could be calling first thing Monday morning….And I realized how CRAZY dependent I am that I constantly had to resist the urge to check the phone.

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Unlike most Sunday’s, I decided to  skip the office and stay home to do some well overdue cleaning and organizing and maybe do a little bit of preparing for my Business Marketing class next week.

By the end of the afternoon I felt really relaxed and actually enjoyed the 100 % focus I had for everything I was doing. I felt calm, and felt like I finally had some space in my head to think over a lot of things, that I normally don’t get to think about in the mass of speedy thoughts that usually cross my mind during the day.

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To make a long story short: I managed the clean the entire house, including organizing my big messy closet, in half (!) the time I normally need. I had so much time left I could actually enjoy catching up with the latest episodes of Suits.
Today (Monday), at the office, I managed to do everything I had planned for 3/4 of the day before lunch. And believe me, I’m a realistic planner.
I started on the tasks I planned for Tuesday, and I managed to spare some extra time to write this post. I feel a lot more creativity in writing also, which I lack most of the time.

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Conclusion: I, however I’m sure I can speak for a lot of you as well, waste too much time constantly checking my phone, getting distracted by meaningless notifications that can easily wait until later. I mean let’s be honest scrolling through Instagram, Twitter & Facebook feeds is fun, but in general not enriching or enhancing anything, while there is so much we can do with the same valuable time.

IMG_6797photoshop I knew I was guilty of this ‘’addiction’’ before, but I actually really needed the past 30 hours to remind myself of this behavior that comes so automatically, as it is programmed. I noticed that with everything I do, I constantly interrupt the task, to check my phone. Our lives are actually designed around it, and not the other way around like it is supposed to be. I mean, when you think of it, it’s crazy!

IMG_6825photoshop All this time I thought I was pretty good in the whole multitasking thing, but I’ve learned from this experience that I’ve been fooling myself, BIG time.

Apart from the high increase in productivity and efficiency that comes with the 100 % focus, the calmness I experienced was really nice. The not constantly thinking ‘’oh I have to call this client and oh I want to look up this brand on instagram’’. No…you don’t have to do anything, you just have to enjoy the moment and focus on what you are doing, making everything so much easier and more enjoyable.

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So I’ve decided to ‘’cut off’’ myself more in the future. Unfortunately I will not be able to do so during the week since I need to be on call for Business, but I will do so every Sunday. I will also try to schedule my social media activities to certain moments in the day and not during the entire day as usual.

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I’m looking forward to getting more out of my time and more out of my mind.
Who’s joining me?

Love,

Nadira

IMG_6810photoshop Outfitdetails: All items are from older collections, as I just assembled random items out of my closet.
Leather Jacket: Mango; Oversized Sweater: H&M; Leather-look Leggings: Zara ; Boots: Zara
Hat & Gloves: V&D Netherlands

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  • Published in Self-Discovery & Growth, Written Archives 2013-2018
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24 Things 2014 Has Taught Me

Saturday, 27 December 2014 by Nadira

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The sound of birds tjirping as if they wouldn’t have a voice tomorrow, a dog occasionally barking, a light breeze of wind through the many plants and trees….I look outside and I see the sun and I can feel the wind on my skin…yes, I’m home! Checking in from Paramaribo, Suriname, South America, where I was born and raised until 18.

As much as I am enjoying it now, this was the first time in my life that I actually dreaded going home. Since I’ve been living in the Netherlands, I’ve been going home for Christmas and New Year’s every year, because my parents still live in Suriname and it’s always nice to be together during the Holidays. Every year when I had to go back to the Netherlands in January, I couldn’t wait until it was December again so I could go back home.

But this year, it was different. I think I’ve finally reached a point where I am content with the life I am living. I finally don’t have the need to “escape” to home. I didn’t want to go, because I didn’t want to leave my business to my partner alone. And I didn’t want to leave my partner, who is my partner in business, but also in life. Last year he came along with me, but this year things are too hectic, which is a good thing of course, it means things are going very well…But I was so sad to go.

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Now I’m here and I am happy to be home. I am enjoying the little things mostly, like the weather and just being home, catching up with my mom and dad and some friends who live here. Oh and the food, can’t forget the food! Especially the fruits and veggies, everything is so fresh and natural.

More than anything, I’ve learned this year that you have to find your happiness in the little things.

As I’ve mentioned in my latest post, we’ve learned a lot this year, it’s been full of great things and lots of growth, but we also made some less smart decisions that became wise lessons for us, business wise, but also in general. I’ve decided to put the things I’ve learned this year in this last blog for 2014, mostly for myself, but maybe it’s a little help to you as well, a source of inspiration, to start the new year fresh and motivated. Some of them might be very obvious, but in practice they are often forgotten.

IMG_5075So here we go…

1. There is always, always, always something to be thankful for. Count your blessings, not your problems. Attitude of gratitude = the best attitude!
2. Always trust your intuition/gut feeling, it’s always right!
3. Business wise: Impulsive decisions can be good in the short term, but hurt you just as much in the long term.
4. If you already work 14 hours a day, 7 days a week like me, it’s not about working harder anymore, but about working more efficiently.
5. Believe more in yourself….You can do/be so much more than you think…All Limits are self-imposed!
6. Everybody pretends to be doing better than they actually are. The grass is always greener on the other side, don’t let this distract you from your goal. Focus on yourself.
7. Clear Communication & Good planning = More efficiency.
8. You’re only as important as your network.
9. Visualize, Visualize, Visualize! If you can dream it, you can do it!
10. Invest in yourself, whether it is by working/studying /exercising. Each minute that you invest in your own physical or mental well-being is a valuable investment that will definitely pay off. Try to learn something every day.
11. Love! Sometimes it’s easy to get carried away in your business or whatever it is that you are focused on. Don’t forget to enjoy some quality time with your loved ones (those that actually love and appreciate you).
12. Time is our most precious asset! Only invest your time in those that are worth it. Otherwise you lose, big time.

IMG_5066 13. Walk your Talk, otherwise don’t talk at all.
14. Balance. Now this one is something I’m still not getting the hang of, but I really do hope to master in 2015. Balance is everything, if you are able to do it well; life becomes a lot easier and much more pleasant.
15. Set goals, but also lay out the steps to achieve them. A lot of people set goals, but have no idea on how to actually make them reality. It’s a step by step process.
16. Every time you were convinced you couldn’t go on, you did….The universe has a funny way of operating, but all you need to believe in, is that everything is going to be alright. So when things get tough, just hang on, keep going, keep fighting and don’t worry, everything is going to be amazing!
17. Trust the timing of your life. Everything happens for a reason. Accept, learn and go on.
18. No guts, no glory. Great things never come from comfort zones.
19. Sometimes you have to get knocked down lower than you’ve ever been to stand up taller than you ever where (Never a failure, always a lesson).
20. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity, find it!
21. To be able, at any moment sacrifice what you are, for what you will become.
22. It’s always impossible, until it’s done.
23. You’ve got to create your own luck.
24. She/He who dares, WINS.

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Of course there is a lot more, but I consider these the most basic, fundamental and important. The rest is mostly in the same line of the above. Plus, we don’t have all day right!

Just like last year, my resolution is to keep on growing mentally, physically, spiritually…Just in every sense. Become smarter, better, stronger than I am now. And I want to love more, and give back more! What are your resolutions?

2013 was practice, 2014 was a warm-up, 2015 is Game time!

Thank you so much for following my life and experiences, I hope they have been and will continue to be an inspiration to your journey. Wishing you all the best in 2015!

Lots of love & Blessings,

Nadira

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Outfitdetails: Heels & Co-oordinate (So in love with this color!): Missguided ; Clutch: Zara; Earrings: Swarovski.
*Pictures are taken in my beautiful garden in Suriname by my lovely Mom*

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The Cost Of Ambition

Sunday, 28 September 2014 by Nadira

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First there is an idea, a certain concept, that develops into a vision/ a dream. Then, you start making it more realistic and it becomes a goal. A goal you can accomplish by getting through a certain number of steps.

When you have broken down the goal into a number of steps, then you have each step on its own, that comes with its own challenges and opportunities. And basically the entire process of getting to the next step involves a lot of sacrifice, hard work and capability of dealing with certain set backs that make the way to the next step longer.

Robert Kyosaki says ”The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire, the size of your dream and how you handle dissapointment along the way”.
How you handle dissapointments, hurdles, setbacks, whatever you want to call them, will decide ultimately whether you get through to the next step and eventually to reaching your goal successfully.

The entire path to success is beautiful also, full of learning, growth, changes, sometimes you end up taking other routes that you would never thought you would take the moment you started. It’s an adventure, a roller-coaster. The process itself is very rewarding, if you have the habit of being thankful for each little step towards the right direction.
I believe that it’s not about the destination, which is the ultimate goal you set, but about enjoying and appreciating each step of the journey.
I also believe we constantly re-shape our goals, as soon as we’ve achieved a big part of it, it is very likely that our focus starts to differ, because more things start to become possible than we’ve anticipated on before, so we start moving the boundaries we set in the beginning, and the goal becomes bigger/different along the way, which is a beautiful thing.

However, devoting your life to achieving certain goals, in order to be able to live a certain lifestyle comes with a great cost. It’s simple: You focus on what you want, and you get what you focus on. But with that focus being on a certain goal, you really don’t have time for other things. I’s a cost that not many are willing to pay. See also my previous post on the Value of Time.
The cost I’m talking about:

– Late nights, early mornings (chronic exhaustion)
– Lots of Associates/Business contacts, very few (real) friends (close to no social life).
– You will be misunderstood (including by your family).
– You will be single unless you’re lucky enough to find someone who understands your lifestyle
– People want you to do good but never better than them
All these points basically lead to you doing everything alone.

”’It’s lonely at the top”, a very well known phrase. However, it already starts on the way to the top. You start living a live that people around you don’t understand and at the same time, when they see your success ,they want it too, but have no idea what it takes or they are not willing to work for it/ give up the many things like you are. This is applicable to many things, it doesn’t neccesarily have to be related to business.

The people around you not understanding and not wanting you to do better than them has become very obvious to me multiple times already. For instance on social media, when I post something insignificant, yet recognizable for everyone, I get a lot of likes and response. Yet, when I post something significant, a highlight/milestone for our business, something really cool, the number of likes/comments is 1/4 or half of what I usually get when posting something.
I’m still working on a hypothesis to why that is exactly. Is it too far from their beds, that they can’t relate and therefore don’t give it attention or is it that I’m really surrounded by lots of haters (including family and so called friends) who don’t like to see me doing/achieving big things?
People I’m not acquainted with seem to be happier and more likely to press the Like button.

I don’t tend to give it a lot of attention, because I’m not the kind of person who likes to focus on negativity, but sometimes it is dissapointing.  At the same time, it gives me a lot more energy because I love to be able to show (off) that it is possible and I made it happen, when others thought of it to be impossible. Moreover, I do it all for myself, not for anyone else, so I don’t need anyone’s approval or applause. However, I more would like to inspire people to do the same than to have them just hating and not making anything out of their life.

The whole ”not having a social life” part of entrepreneurship is already something I’ve gotten used to. I am very grateful to have my partner in life who is also my partner in Business by my side, which means I am lucky to have someone on the journey to the top, someone who understands everything. I am also very grateful that I have 2 amazing parents and a brother who understand and support me all the way. And apart from a handful of friends, this is where it stops. Which is fine, because I don’t have the time anyway and I don’t do drama, I do Business.

Two big highlights from Wulterkens have been the new Sports-collection that is online now. We have expanded from only Fitness to Running, Bootcamp, Crossfit, Boxing and other similar activities/sports and we are managing to differentiate the brand with statement items in funky colors and with motivating quotes. We are growing very fast, every day more people know the brand and love it, so that’s of course a big deal for us.
We also have a really fun giveaway with stunning Dutch top model Kim Feenstra, who proudly wears our clothing. You can Win her Wulterkens outfit. Only 1 day left to participate in the competition, click here. The complimentary comments about Wulterkens Clothing of all the lovely people that are participating in this giveaway are overwhelming!

Banner Kim langwerpig1

So these are 2 big things that bring our brand to yet another (higher) level and another step closer to our goal. I’m extremely proud, because there were many sleepless nights and it is yet a confirmation to us that it is worth it. Hard work pays off, and you don’t just get lucky, you have to create your own luck. I am very grateful for those who recognize the passion and love to work with us.

I wonder if any of you have similar experiences, so feel free to comment and share yours.

Stay Focused, Positive & Passionate.

Love,
NadiraIMG_5546photoshopcut2

Outfitdetails
Wulterkens Let’s get Physical Tee
Supertrash Severine Skirt
ZARA Mesh heels (Old collection)
Guess Bag (Old collection)

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Time…So Precious, So Scarce

Saturday, 30 August 2014 by Nadira

 

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“Imagine there is a bank account that credits your account each morning with $86,400. It carries over no balance from day to day. Every evening the bank deletes whatever part of the balance you failed to use during the day. What would you do? Draw out every cent, of course? Each of us has such a bank. Its name is time. Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds. Every night it writes off as lost, whatever of this you have failed to invest to a good purpose. It carries over no balance. It allows no over draft. Each day it opens a new account for you. Each night it burns the remains of the day. If you fail to use the day’s deposits, the loss is yours. There is no drawing against “tomorrow”. You must live in the present on today’s deposits. Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness and success. The clock is running. Make the most of today.”

Time…the most scarce and precious asset we own, and most of us don’t even realize and appreciate it. I don’t know who wrote the above, but I think it’s a beautiful way of making you realise the value of time.

My goal was to write a new post at least once a week. For now, I’ve failed at doing so, because of the simple concept of not having enough time in a day (or having slightly more important things to do that I had to prioritize).
Last night I said to my partner before I fell a sleep ”I wish I could have a little bit of time that so many people are wasting everyday; the things I would be able to do”.

With all the (great) things that have been happening the past few weeks, I’ve become increasingly more conscious and I’ve been wishing for more time every day.

I still cannot tell you guys about most of the projects we’ve been working on, until they are final. But I can give you guys some hints.

– First big thing and it’s no secret: the new Wulterkens Fall/Winter sportscollection is coming very soon! (Most items will be available for pre-ordering next week already). Still a photo and video shoot in the planning, so still lots to do before. You can shop our summer collection on Sale now: www.wulterkensclothing.com (Stock is low, so hurry!)
– We have a new member in the Wulterkens team who advices us on our production & marketing, which is great, because 3 minds always achieve more than 2 and he is a major asset to us with his brilliant mind and experience.
– We are currently designing a seperate sports collection for a big chain of stores (So excited!)
– We are working on a project with an upcoming DJ, which also involves us into some lights, camera and action. Unfortunately I cannot tell you guys any more than this yet.
– One of the Netherlands’ topmodels will be spotted in Wulterkens sportswear,  more info soon!
– IFBB Pro Athlete Ramona Valerie from Germany is rocking our Sportswear, introducing us into the German market, which we are very grateful for.

So yes a lot of exciting and big (international) projects/opportunities! I am also starting with a part-time Master program in Marketing at the VU University in Amsterdam! Not because I have so much time on my hands (as is pretty clear), but because I believe you always have to keep on learning, keep on growing as a person.

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By now I don’t have any social life. I barely see my own brother, let alone friends or other family. I am so happy when I get home before 10 p.m., because that means I can get a good nights’ sleep (we usually leave home at 8 a.m. and come home at 11-12 p.m., making 14-16 hour workdays). However I am not complaining at all! I might be tired and not have a social life, but we are getting so much back in return. The growth of our brand is becoming exponential, which is our dream and life, so it is worth it. It’s an investment in our future, in the life that not everybody gets to live (because they are not willing to give up the things that we are giving up). People always tend to see the success and the growth, but not the sleepless nights and countless hours, blood, sweat and tears we’ve put in.

I think you guys understand now why I’ve become very conscious of my time. It is so extremely precious to me. I don’t intend on wasting it anymore on anything  that doesn’t make me grow into a better version of myself, or anybody who isn’t worth it. It may sound selfish and rude, but it’s what I choose, because I know that life is exactly what you make of it. What you spend your time on now, will result in what your life will look like tomorrow. Nobody will do it for you. So start planting those seeds and water them everyday, work hard, believe in yourself, never give up! Your hard work will be rewarded.

“You will never find time for anything. If you want time, you must make it.” Charles Buxton was right about this. Everybody is complaining about not having enough time, but be honest with yourself. We all waste so much time watching television, series, playing videogames, on our phones on social media etc. It’s fine, but make sure you prioritize, because tomorrow, your time can be up. Make sure that whatever you spend your time on, you are enjoying it. If you choose to sleep, spend it with a loved one, invest in yourself (work, study, exercise), party…whatever it is you do, make sure that when your clock has run out, you can say you’ve lived and enjoyed it to the fullest. Don’t be a slave to the system, or to others. Stay away from all the drama that lots of people put themselves in and waste their time on. Choose to do whatever it is you love to do, everyday. Try to spend it with whoever you love. You always have a choice. Choose wisely.

And to the people who know me personally…If I give you my time, I give you a piece of me/my life I will never get back, I can never spend it in any other way. I am very conscious of this, so if I give you my time, I value you a lot.

Love,

Nadira

Outfitdetails: Mixing lace with leather for a lunch date.
Skirt from H&M (old collection). Shoes from Colin Stuart (Old). Top (Basic) from Zara. Lace Cardigan from a boutique in Rome, Italy. Bracelet from Hermes (Collier de Chien). Clutch from New Look.

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A Better You: HOW -> Food & Nutrition part 1

Friday, 16 May 2014 by Nadira

Wow, where do I start! First of all I want to thank everyone who took the time to read my post. I’ve been receiving amazing feedback on my first part of A Better You: WHY (State of Mind). It really means the world to me, because for the first time ever I opened up about my feelings, thoughts and insecurities and I felt a bit ‘’naked’’. Seeing how it inspires a lot of people, makes it all worth it! So have you guys figured out your WHY yet? Are you willing to change your lifestyle for it? Are you willing to suffer pain and hunger for it? How committed are you?

As I was writing everything I know about nutrition, I realized it’s way too much for one blogpost, so I decided to split Food & Nutrition into 2 parts. In this first part, I discuss how you can best measure your progress, WHAT to eat and WHEN to eat. In part 2 I will discuss HOW to eat, basic rules you need to hold on to, cheat days, counting calories, supplements and I will add a food diary.

I want to start out by saying that I’m absolutely no expert. Everything I write is based on my own research and my own experience. It is what works for my body and mind. It might work differently for you, so you have to try and see how your body responds. Most important is to listen to your body.

Measuring Progress
In addition to the first part, I want to start by saying that I lost about 8-10 kg between August 12th and December 20th 2013. If you missed my before and after picture, check it out here.

The reason why I don’t know exactly how much weight I lost, is because I almost never stepped on a scale. I remember stepping on a scale somewhere in July weighing 59 kg and I stepped on another scale in December weighing 49 kg. These are different scales, so it may vary.

One of the major things that too many people do wrong is constantly stepping on that scale.
Don’t do this, because you will frustrate yourself and it’s not necessary. The reason why the scale is not trustworthy is because your body weight consists of many things that vary: Body fluid (water), Fat and Muscles. By the way, if you weigh, you should be naked to get an accurate weight or make sure you wear the exact same clothing next time you weigh, preferably early morning on empty stomach.
Research has shown that muscles weigh heavier than fat. Muscles burn fat. So if you want to lose fat, you need to create more muscles mass to burn the fat. When you start developing your muscles through training (in combination with eating clean), you will increase in muscle weight, but decrease in fat weight, which is exactly what you want.
The problem is that if you weigh at a certain point, the scale might tell you that you gained weight, which is true, but it’s muscle weight that replaced the fat weight. Despite you being conscious of this, you will probably still get disappointed because the scale is showing a higher number than before.
Also, in some periods your body might hold onto some extra water, which will also make it seem as if you’ve gained weight, when it’s not fat but water weight. So in order to avoid unnecessary frustration, stay away from the scale en measure your progress in other, more reliable ways. You see, your weight is nothing but a number, it can constitute of so many things, so you shouldn’t focus on reaching a certain weight, but instead focus on a picture of how you want to look like, or a certain fat percentage, which is more reliable.

The best way to measure your progress is by taking your measurements: Bust, Waist, Hips, Thighs (Left + Right) & Arms (Left + Right). Don’t forget to add the date and then you can measure weeks later to see your progress (I take my measurements once a month).
Next to this, professional athletes measure their fat percentage. You can ask you personal trainer in the gym if he/she can do this for you. When I started I didn’t measure it, so I have no idea how much I dropped in fat, unfortunately. I am measuring it now, so I will keep you guys up to date when I’ve reached my point of satisfaction in the Summer.
Moreover, I would like to recommend to take a before picture when you start and when you’ve reached a point where you are satisfied you can take an after picture. You don’t have to share it with anyone, but it is very motivating to look back.
Another measurement of progress is your clothing. You can easily notice you’re losing weight by your pants or belt that will fit looser. This is a way better and more reliable indication than your scale.
I used to stand in front of the mirror everyday to see if I made progress. I don’t recommend doing that because eventually you won’t see it anymore and this can be frustrating as well, while maybe you are making some great progress. I’ve added my progress based on measurements in the picture below, so you have an idea of how to do it (I left out Bust due to privacy reason, but don’t forget it!).

ImageNutrition
It’s the most cliché quote in Health & Fitness, but it’s true. ‘’Abs are made in the kitchen’’ or… wherever you eat. It doesn’t come down to that hour or 2 you spend in the gym, but it’s everything you do (and eat) in the other 22-23 hours that really counts.

First let me help you out of the illusion: There are no magic pills, no shortcuts, it’s all just invented to make money. All you need is discipline to control what’s on your plate and hard work in the gym.
Working out is just 30 % of the effort, controlling what’s on your plate counts for 70% to get a 100% of results.

In today’s world, with everything being reviewed by basically everyone who thinks they know enough about something to write about it (a little like me haha); but also new technology, enabling researchers to elaborately study our foods and bodies, it is not easy to find out what is genuinely healthy and what’s not.
Bread, for instance, which is quite a generic food, considered healthy and consumed by millions around the world, really is NOT that healthy. Sorry to break it to you guys, but it doesn’t have much nutritional value. For my Dutch friends, here is an article that explains it.

I’ve personally gotten the advice as a woman to not consume dietary products, so no milk, yoghurt, cheese etc. I do consume a little bit of milk with my protein shakes or oats, but it’s always (unsweetened) almond milk or low fat milk, and I tend to keep it at a minimum. This however, doesn’t mean I have a calcium deficit as most people think, because you can get calcium from many other healthy sources. Soy milk (unsweetened) is also an option, but I’m allergic to it.

WHAT
Fat
I cook everything either with the  0 % fat cooking spray they sell at the supplement stores, Organic Coconut oil, or simply Olive oil. Since there is a constant debate going on, on for instance whether coconut oil is really good or bad for you, I just switch it up, making sure I don’t get too much of any of the 3 in my system.
A major misconception is: ‘’I have to lose fat, so I have to avoid fat’’.
Please, do NOT avoid ‘’Fats’’, because you need them to function. It’s a common mistake people make when they go on certain diets. If you don’t add fat into your daily meals, your body will go into a fat preserving mode, which will lead to you not losing any fat despite your hard work in the gym. You have to make sure your body gets in a little bit of fat and most important the right fat.
The best kind of fats you can give your body are the ‘’good’’ fats called Monounsaturated fats and Polyunsaturated fats like Omega-3 and 6, which you can find in Unsalted Nuts (almonds, walnuts, cashews), Avocado and fatty fish like Tuna and Salmon, but also Olive oil. Read more here.
Important: A fat free/low-fat label on a product doesn’t necessarily make it a healthy product. It’s usually filled with carbohydrates and sugar that will transfer into fat in your body.

The basic rule is to eat everything in moderation to avoid excess of anything that might be bad for you.

Carbohydrates aka Carbs
Carbohydrates are fuel for your body. You need them to operate. However, if your body takes in more fuel than it burns, the carbohydrates will transform into fat. If you keep your carbohydrate intake low and increase your physical movement, your body will not have enough fuel to burn so it will start burning your fat reserve, which is what you want.

If I consume carbs, which I do at a minimum, I make sure they are the healthy carbs or the slow carbs. Slow carbs are good because they are gradually processed by your body, meaning you can function on them longer before your body starts to get hungry again compared to fast carbs. They keep your blood level at a relative regular, keeping you satisfied and energized longer. With fast carbs (white pasta, rice, bread) your blood level will drop faster, making you feel hungry very fast, because your body needs your blood level to peak again.
So I’m getting really technical on this, but it’s fairly easy: the closer you want to get to that sixpack, gradually reduce the amount of carbs you take in. And you should consume only good carbs like: whole grain crackers, steal cut oats, wholegrain rice, sweet potato and quinoa. Avoid bread, especially white bread, and any kind of white pasta and rice. Especially rice can create a big bloated belly. If you would just cut down on rice, I bet you will notice a difference. Lowering your carb intake is the hardest. You can get really cranky about it. But as I said before, it’s not going to be easy!

Proteins
Proteins are the building blocks of your Muscles. In combination with building your muscles (to burn more fat) you need to take in a lot of proteins. I eat a lot of lean meat (chicken, lean turkey, low fat minced beef), Fish and lots of eggs. I also eat a lot of beans, like brown beans, white beans or chick peas, which contain lots of protein (in combination with carbs, but mostly good carbs). If you’ll be doing fitness it’s very important to get in your proteins to build your muscle mass.

Vegetables
I eat a lot of vegetables, naturally cooked. Vegetables also consist of carbohydrates and nutrients like vitamins, Iron, calcium etc. that fuel your body. They are a must in your new lifestyle of eating nutritional foods.

Fruit
I don’t eat a lot of fruit, and here’s why. Fruits are very healthy, but  next to all the vitamins they also contain loads of natural sugars. The fruits that you can eat are: Banana (but they do contain a lot of carbs so it’s best to eat them pre-workout or for breakfast), apple, kiwi, grapes, blueberries, strawberries and raspberries (contain lots of anti-oxidants that help burn your belly-fat). Most other fruits contain a lot of natural sugars that can basically delay you from reaching your goal.

Salt
Keep your salt use limited and spice your meals up with peppers which are good for the metabolism. People tend to focus a lot on their sugar intake, but your salt intake can be just as harmful. Apart from the cholesterol issues;  if you eat too much salt your body will hold onto extra water, which will  make you bloated and increase in water weight.

Overall
Basically each meal you have should consist of around 20-30% protein, 60-70% carbs (which you can get out of vegetables as well) and 10-20% fat. All depending on your goal. It is very important to make sure your meals have all of these nutrients and they are balanced out in good proportions.
When I’m on my mission and getting closer to that ripped body, my meals usually consist of 60-55 % protein, 40-30 % carbs (mostly vegetables) and 10-5 % fat, which is enough for my body to not go into fat preservation mode, and perfect for my body to start burning the stored fat because it doesn’t get enough fuel from my carbohydrate intake. However, my carb intake is just enough so I don’t get dizzy and I’m still energized/able to function normally, while the proteins make sure my body restores.

Another thing that is almost just as important as WHAT you eat, is WHEN you eat and HOW you eat.
So we’ve got WHAT covered, I will add a food diary in part 2 about Food & Nutrition.

WHEN
You probably all know the saying, eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a pauper. Well it’s true, in the sense that you have to lower you carb intake throughout the day.
So for breakfast it might be ok to have a piece of whole grain bread, with a nice piece of salmon and some coffee with one cube of brown sugar, but don’t dare to do that before bedtime, for it will go straight to your thighs and belly unless you get up early and burn it off with some cardio on an empty stomach (which is highly unusual for most people). So make sure you lower your carb intake as you go through your day. Also, start eating smaller portions throughout the day.

Starting the day with protein and ending the day with protein is a golden rule, especially if you work out with weights and have to build muscle. Also, it’s extremely important to start eating within the hour after you wake up! By eating breakfast 15-30-45 min after you’ve woken up, you start your body’s engine for the day. A lot of people aren’t hungry in the morning, but you have to force yourself to eat something, so you can start up your metabolism.

If you want to become a fat burning machine, you have to start with speeding up your natural metabolism. So what we do is eat every 2-3 hours! By eating every 2 hours you can afford to eat just a little bit (as long as you hold onto the nutritional rules: protein/carbs/fat) and it will hold you until it’s time to eat again. So you eat 6-8 smaller meals a day instead of 3 big meals.
In the beginning I used to set my alarm clock every 2 hours, now I don’t need to because my body literally starts screaming for food after 2 hours. Sometimes, I’m getting hungry after only 1,5 hour has passed and I still have half an hour to go. In that case I just drink a lot of water, because you shouldn’t be eating before the 2 hours have passed.
This brings me to the next, very important point which is:

Meal Preparation

Most of you have a life, so a job, school or another obligation that keeps you busy during the day. This means that you don’t have time to prepare food every 2 hours, which means that you have to prepare it beforehand, like the night before. Meal preparation is crucial to succeeding in keeping up this healthy lifestyle. If you don’t prepare your food, you don’t have anything when your alarm goes off. If you skip it, your metabolism slows down and so does your fat burning. This will result in overeating/binging at night, because your body is going to want to catch up with that missed meal.

If you still want to keep it up you will have to grab some ‘’fast’’ food and that will certainly not be healthy. Most foods available at a cafeteria, lunch room or fast food restaurant will not offer you the nutritional value you need and are very likely to be too high in fat, carbs and sugars.
Preperation is key to success! And it requires time and effort, which is why it’s not for everyone (as you’ve been warned in part 1).
Image Your last meal for the day should be at least 2 hours before going to sleep. This is usually the killing part, because your body is used to eating every 2 hours, so by the time you have to go to sleep you’re hungry. And yes, you have to go to bed hungry. Eating right before you go to sleep will cause your body to have to work hard during your sleep to digest, which sucks up so much energy that you will probably wake up feeling very tired. Moreover, you don’t burn those calories you just consumed (because you’re asleep), so depending on the composition of your last meal there is a possibility that your  body will store fat.

So this concludes part 1 of Food & Nutrition. Stay tuned for next week, when I publish part 2 on Food & Nutrition and the week after when I talk about Fitness & HIIT Cardio.
I really hope this helps you guys, make sure you take notes and if you have any questions, please ask them in the comment section below. This way, I can answer you here so other people that might have the same question will read it as well.

Stay focused and fit!!

Love,

Nadira

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 ‘’When I lost all my excuses, I found my results’’.

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