”HERE’S MY GIFT TO YOU” SAID LIFE
I knew myself to be in a period of transformation, but man oh mann, did I NOT expect life coming at me.
This, even though all the signs where there from the beginning and ironically, while I experienced so much progress with regards to self-discovery & growth🤦🏽♀️.
I felt so intensely happy and at peace, despite(!) nothing in my life going as I planned. As if 2020 just being itself wasn’t enough, life decided to test me. “Ahhh, you think you know what you’re doing?! Well, show me what you’ve learned!”.
Experiencing emotional turmoil, I easily fell into the “trap”, before I could see it as an opportunity to practice.
“WHY is this happening to ME”, “Howww?”, etc. = the trap of my mind/ego victimizing myself, until I realized: Struggles, challenges, adversity, heartbreak, pain, unmet expectations, rejection, loss etc.—It’s ALL here as a gift of life. To learn, grow and evolve.
As we are all unique, we receive tailor made gifts— to awaken us until we learn to accept them with gratitude & listen to what they teach us.
I had my body itching every night for 2 weeks, thinking bed bugs and all the worst. The doctor couldn’t help, as there was nothing visible on my body. Psychosomatically, it was literally the inside of me screaming that I wasn’t listening, making me want to “jump out of skin”. The crazy part? As soon as I let go of what I had to, the itch was GONE.
I’m learning now that life is NOT about being happy all the time. It’s about being true to yourself; connected to yourself. Living in alignment with your values and setting boundaries. Facing your emotions and “mistakes” instead of burying them deep. From that comes something more profound than happiness!
The more you know yourself, the more clarity there is. It “cost” me a beautiful relationship that wasn’t for me, but the pain was there to teach me to listen to me & choose me with all the love I have for myself.
Life will continue to throw us exactly what we need to force us to turn inward;
“Shit” happens to the best (all) of us and there is so much value in the growing pains! Instead of blaming life, making yourself the victim, embrace your tailor made gifts from the Universe & LISTEN🙏✨
Location: Venice, Italy
- Published in Love & Relationships, Self-Discovery & Growth
So Special?
”You are unique. Just like everyone else”.
We all like to believe that we are so special. But are we really?
We all want to be seen, recognised for who we are, acknowledged, appreciated, loved, celebrated. We love to be chosen, whether it is getting picked out of the group to play sports in a team or your crush choosing you over all the other boys or girls in school.
We all want to be liked, making for popular hashtags such as #like #like4like #follow4follow, as we also want to be followed, because we want to show as many people as possible how special (and awesome) we are and our life is.
But at the same time…in today’s day and age…Swipe right, Swipe left…For you, there are 10 others. With over 700 million active monthly users on Instagram, chances are it’s even more than 10 ;-). Aren’t we all replaceable? What makes you so special really?
I know what you’re thinking…life isn’t Tinder (or Grinder or any of the other mating app’s out there)…and of course, not everyone is exactly like you, but there are enough with the same interests, ideals; similar talents, ways and even looks. The same sense of humor, way of talking, walking, fears, dreams, taste in music, fashion, art etc, etc. Is there anything exceptionally unique these days anyway?
Also, did you know you’re actually programmed to think you’re special? It’s called Pseudo-exceptionalism—the unearned conviction that we are exceptional, superior to others because we were born…us.
Consider this, and a simple (maybe a little too simple, but I can see logic behind it), formula by Tim Urban: Happiness = Reality – Expectations.
Most millennials have been raised by constantly being told they are ”special”. I mean, even the losing kids in contests get prizes and trophies these days, right? We receive rewards even without having to actually do something exceptionally better than others, simply because we are our special us and we showed up. Yet we are programmed to constantly compete from a young age, in sports, in beauty competitions, in business and so on…
Given the world we live in, and the fact that life in general isn’t really that easy…I think the harsh reality of life is catching up to many of us…With the automatic conviction that we are entitled to a great life, we end up very unhappy, because we expect things to come a lot easier in life.
A successful life, whether it’s a career or marriage , requires hard work, blood, sweat, tears and not just ”being special” or being entitled to, simply because we believe we are. ”If he/she can have it, so can I”… which could be true, but honestly, you will have to do something for it. Whatever it is you seek, won’t fall from the sky.
We look at the ”perfect”(ly staged) lives of others on Facebook and think the grass is greener, but tend forget that nobody posts about the struggles, the pain, the frustrations. We are programmed to always want (and aim for) the nicer car or the bigger house, without even thinking through whether it would really make us happy or give us actual meaning in life. Thus leading to unhappiness.
All of this made me think….maybe we should (try to) let go of the notion that we are so special? What’s so bad about accepting that we are all replaceable? No matter how talented, skilled, smart, beautiful…there will always be someone, somewhere…just as good (or maybe even better/more beautiful, talented etc.).
But really what’s so bad about that?
No one will ever be you in the completeness of you as a human being. But that will not bring you anything in life on it’s own.
Life is too short to worry about being special. It’s already complicated enough. Just ride the hell out of the rollercoaster, work hard for what you want, make the best of it, enjoy it, and maybe try to leave the world a little bit better than it was before. To me there is enough special in that :-).
”A flower doesn’t think of competing to the flower next to it. It just blooms”.
Love,
Nadira
P.S. I’m sure you’re really special in the eyes of at least one person in this world. Maybe that’s a bit of a consolation :-).
- Published in Self-Discovery & Growth, Written Archives 2013-2018
5 Realisations That Make Life Easier
All change is not growth, as all movement is not forward.
I talk a lot about change in my previous posts: The Unknown, Change, You Have To Do The Hard Things, Nothing Changes Until You Do and more…
But in this post, I want to emphasise Growth. It’s part of our natural process, but I found that consciously acknowledging and reflecting back on growth, brings a lot of valuable insights and wisdom saving you a lot when dealing with life in the future.
As you are (consciously) shifting, you will begin to realise that you are not the same person you used to be. The things you used to tolerate have become intolerable. When you once remained quiet, you are now speaking your truth. Where you once battled and argued, you are now choosing to remain silent. You are beginning to understand the value of your voice and there are some situations that no longer deserve your time, energy, and focus.
Some things I’ve learned through evaluating my own growth:
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There is only one really good life…that’s the life you know you want….and you make it yourself…
Though it’s never really one vision, and it’s subject to change as our needs change through different phases of our live. A simple and funny example of this is looking back at our 7-year old self who (probably) didn’t want to eat vegetables and didn’t like an early bed-time; whereas for me 20 years later – I crave healthy food (and miss my mom preparing it for me), and I have a very exclusive love relationship with my bed, which my partner is very envious of 😀 . The same principle goes for everything. What used to be your vision of life, doesn’t have to be the same over time, but regardless of this vision changing, you’re still the pilot on your own flight. -
In any given moment we have two options: To step forward into growth or to step back into safety.
The first often scary and uncomfortable, but always with great rewards (exciting next-level changes and opportunities); the latter being easy but non-satisfying, as there’s always that little voice inside that will keep nagging you for not taking that step forward, since you are clearly not happy where you’re standing. Also, there will always be the question ”what if..?”. Realising this saves you a lot of time when pondering on whether or not to take certain steps in the future. -
You start dying slowly when you become a slave to your habits, walking everyday on the same paths, if you do not change your routine. Especially when you are not satisfied with your love-life, your job or surroundings and you choose not to change your life.
I know so many people, who choose to be a victim of their surroundings, and they are so unhappy, all the while there is a lot they can change. Even if it’s just step by step starting with ”100 little, easy to change, but make all the difference” things. -
You become a master of your life when you learn how to control where your attention goes. Value what you give your time and energy to.
Choose your battles. As easy as it is to give in to so many triggers around us, stop and ask yourself ”what will pursuing this bring me?”. It’s a simple principle. Everything you give time and energy to grows, so you decide by directing your attention what your life looks like. Knowing this…and applying it everyday, is power. -
You are under no obligation to be the same person you were a year, a month or even 15 minutes ago. You have to right to grow. No apologies.
We are products of our pasts, but that doesn’t mean we have to be prisoners of it. Don’t let anything limit you into changing your thinking, attitude or anything else that you know and feel will bring you to a better place in life.
And don’t forget this…
” You are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work-in-progress at the same time”.
I’ve said this before, but I emphasise it again…One doesn’t exclude the other as we never stop being a work-in-progress until our passing. So love yourself and all that you are in every phase. Embrace even the broken and ugly pieces, as they are triggers for you to actually take those steps to a better you and a better life. Besides; perfection is overrated, your flaws make you a masterpiece and your tragedies make your story one worth telling.
Love,
Nadira
I love this picture below, as it describes me perfectly stumbling and balancing my way through the whirlwind called Life. Outfit details: ”Red Rose”. Photography: Fons de Keijzer
- Published in Self-Discovery & Growth, Written Archives 2013-2018
New Beginnings & Perfect Endings
That moment…when you just got off the rollercoaster ride…pumped with adrenaline, slightly nauseous, overwhelmed, kinda tired, but you are ready to go for another ride!
Most of you who follow me on my social media know that on December 1st, I opened my very first physical store: The Wulterkens Customized Wear Store in the Gooische Brink Passage, Hilversum!
Needless to say the past few months have been unbelievably hectic and crazy. We received the keys to the store on November 7th, and we had our grand opening on December 1st, so in 24 days, we built up the entire store. Let’s just say…the next time someone says they are ”busy”, because they have a few things going on, I’m willing to give them the ”batman meme” slap.
I’ve managed to get things done that I never thought I could. Tackling one challenge at a time, constant problem solving, a lot of sweat, some tears as well…In those 3 weeks, I’ve learned so much, I feel like a completely different person and it was all so worth it. I will get into some lessons learned (there have been a lot) in future posts.
2016 has taken a completely unexpected turn for us, amazing opportunities came onto our path, which we literally grabbed with both hands and along with the help of so many loving friends and beautiful souls around us, we couldn’t be more grateful. For an impression, you can find the after movie of the grand opening of the Wulterkens Store below.
We’ve also moved to a great apartment in Hilversum, so we’re settling into our new home. In retrospect, 2016, was an amazing year. We’ve taken our businesses Wulterkens and Customized Wear to a whole other level, bringing them together to the consumer in the Wulterkens Store. We’ve launched a new t-shirt brand King Of Rebels. I can finally call myself Nadira Ramautarsing, MSc. Marketing! Looking back to my first post this year, Raise Your Standards, I’ve accomplished most of my goals. I am fit, healthy, taking things to the next level, focussing, prioritising, back on track. Yes! Madame Selfmade has been put on hold for a little while, because while I am superwoman, there are some limits to my powers, such as the 24 hours I only have a day, but stay tuned! Mastering the moonwalk is something I will pick up in 2017 as well ;-).
There is this saying that ”every next level of life demands another version of you”. It took me a while to evolve (read more in The Unknown), but I look back in gratitude, and I am so excited for what 2017 will bring.
I wish you all beautiful holidays, with loving people and great food!
Take care and much LOVE,
Nadira
Full Outfitdetails in my photo diary: Jingle Bells 
Shop:
More of my outfit here.
Lemonade
What Beyoncé has recently taught me…
Her newly released Lemonade has inspired a spiral of thoughts that lead to this blog, which are interesting from both a marketing and a personal growth perspective.
While everyone is obsessing about ”Becky with the good hair”, all I see is the brilliance of it. While Beyoncé lashes out at Jay-Z, suggesting adultery, and the entire album basically revolves around her heartbreak, it has the entire world speculating. Yet, what most people tend to forget is that the album Lemonade is released exclusively through Tidal, which is a streaming service company co-owned by both Beyoncé and Jay-Z (among others), making it one of the smartest money making endeavours and everyone is falling for it. It just makes Beyoncé and Jay-Z brilliant entrepreneurs and it’s something we can all learn from.
You see, Beyoncé with her A-star status is perceived by many as ideal. The idea that she has to deal with the same things that many of us have to deal with such as infidelity, heartbreak, insecurities etc. provides many with a certain degree of comfort. ”If Beyoncé can be cheated on, well then maybe it’s not the case that I’m not good enough” could be a thought of some lady who’s been cheated on. By making the album personal, it adds so much value to it, making it more than just a few new Beyoncé songs. Tidal described the Lemonade concept as ”every woman’s journey of self-knowledge and healing”. So what can we conclude from this?
What I’ve learned from it, is the following:
1. From a marketing perspective: Product/Brand Experience determines your product’s value. The entire Lemonade concept is a confirmation of the fact that creating an experience around your product or brand enhances the perception of the value of it, because people are able to relate on a certain level. In this case, even if the rumours and insinuations are true, Jay-z and Beyoncé are still the ones laughing hardest (together) as all they have been hearing is (even more)”Cha Ching, Cha Ching” since April 23.
2. From a personal growth perspective: The grass is never greener on the other side.
We can learn from Beyoncé’s honesty (assuming her story is true and her heartbreak is genuine), that we all have our issues to deal with. Whether it’s money problems, heartbreak, or something else, nobody is exempted from it. The grass is not greener on the other side, although we might often think so. Especially nowadays with social media, where people tend to share (only) the better things in their lives, it seems as everyone’s grass might be greener. But clearly even Queen B has her issues and no perfect life.
3. From a personal growth & marketing perspective: Make that Lemonade!
When life hands you lemons…you buy some sugar and you make €€€ selling lemonade. Transform your heartbreak, pain, struggle, issues into something positive, that you can use for yourself to grow, personally, and if possible even financially. You have the power to take control. Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% how you choose to react to it. You can choose to make that lemonade, instead of crying over the lemons your where handed.
So pull a Sasha Fierce and turn your pain into a better you, a better world and even €€€!
Mantra for the week:
”Storms are always temporary. With every difficulty I come out polished, stronger and prepped for blessing beyond my wildest dreams”.
Love,
Nadira
P.S:….
*…All above is based on the assumption that there is at least some truth and sincerity in Lemonade the concept.*
Outfit details: Croptop by Wulterkens. Jeans by Nastygal.
Metallic Tattoos by Chique Tattoos.
Photography by Surej Tul.
Special Thank you to Jacana Amazon Welness Resort for their hospitality!
While I had the feeling I was in the middle of a tropical heaven, Jacana is actually 10 minutes driving from my home in Paramaribo city. If you want to surround yourself with exotic nature in combination with a luxury treatment and experience that zen feeling, while still close to the city, Jacana Resort is definitely the place to be!
You can book your stay at Jacana HERE.
- Published in Self-Discovery & Growth, Written Archives 2013-2018
When Things Don’t Go Your Way
For quite a while I’ve been struggling. Some of you who know me a little bit by now know that I am someone who wants a lot of things, and usually it’s all at the same time. I aspire to do/achieve a lot, which leads to disappointment when things for whatever reason don’t go as planned in my head.
I think we’ve all been there, it can be something such as not getting to where you want to be in a certain amount of time that you’ve planned, or investing a lot into a project that fails. This, depending on how important it is in your life, can really keep you up at night. Many of us, especially those who are dedicated or emotionally involved tend to hang on and persevere, in the hope/belief that it is what’s good for them, and they have to have it no matter what it takes or how long. While I’m all for perseverance, and never giving up…there is a point where you have to take a step back, and evaluate your situation.
While doing so myself…suddenly, it hit me…and man-oh-man am I grateful for the extent of which my eyes have opened for certain things not going my way. I believe everything happens for a reason, and after evaluating several similar situations in my life where I felt that I had to have something, which eventually didn’t go my way…I found that I was better off each and every time.
There is that saying ‘’when one door closes, another one opens’’, and I found it to be very true. Recently, I found myself saying to my partner about a project that fell through that we were bummed about, that ”if it weren’t for that, we wouldn’t be able to take on another one”, which ended up being much more lucrative. While this is in business, I strongly believe the same goes for everything else in life. When you let go of what you ‘’think’’ you want, that is the moment you allow what you truly deserve to enter into your life.
Focus on what happiness, love, and peace feels like, but don’t focus too hard on trying to work out how exactly you will get there. Sometimes we can become so blinded by what is in front of us that it prevents us from seeing what can become FOR us.
There is much more for you to see, experience, and learn. Who you feel you need to be with may not be best for you. The job you feel you just have to have, may not give you that joy and security that you truly want.
Do you want to have a life that is full of joy and peace, or do you want to encounter a string of events that completely turns out the way you wish? Sometimes they go hand in hand, but other times you must sacrifice one for another.
A close friend of mine recently told me: ‘’Don’t be afraid to let go because of the fear that you will never experience something so special again’’. Because one way or the other you will, it just might come in a different shape than you expect.
There is a difference between visualizing your ideal reality and visualizing your heart’s’ desire. In an ideal reality you may marry that celebrity crush but feel unloved. Move into that great big house, yet feel empty. Our acquisitions feed off visualization and focus, our spiritual growth, however, feeds on positive emotion.
What are you still holding onto today that you feel you cannot live without or let go? Life is constantly changing, we are constantly changing, so sometimes it’s better to let go and embrace new possibilities and opportunities. Do not forget that all that you need is within you…and while I type this, it’s a big note to myself, because I honestly tend to forget that sometimes.
When a door closes knock on it a few times. But if it still doesn’t open, let it stay close. In career, in love, in life. When you see the period at the end of the sentence, don’t try to turn it into a comma. Know when something is over, and move on to whatever better is waiting.
Love,
Nadira
Outfitdetails: Dress, Coat & Shoes: Missguided. Lipcolor: Candy K by Kyliecosmetics.
- Published in Self-Discovery & Growth, Written Archives 2013-2018
The Illusion Of Comfort
We all love comfort and we often associate having certain degree of comfort with happiness. Wealth provides us with comfort, which is one of the reasons why we strive for wealth. We think if we’re wealthy, we get more comfort, and we will become happier. This way of thinking results in us working our asses off for a comfortable life, whether it is for ourselves or for our loved ones.
But the thing is…Comfort is actually an illusion. An illusion that too many of us become slaves of, because it’s so easy to get sucked into.
Don’t lose yourself in the illusion of Comfort.
Many don’t know this, but at one point in my life, in the very beginning of starting with our businesses, I was extremely broke. We never worked with any investors and banks were very anxious at that time to give out loans to startups. At that time I was still a Bachelor student. Apart from some financial aid from my dad, we invested everything we earned (which wasn’t that much yet) into our new brand, which at the time wasn’t generating much income yet. It was a vicious circle. As you might know, brand awareness takes a load of time, I’m talking decades, not a year or two.
I found myself facing a harsh truth of life: Struggle to pay the rent and bills. I’ve never had to struggle like that before, because I was lucky to have my parents who always supported me financially all the way through college.
I had two options:
1. I could borrow more money from my parents.
2. I could give this struggling life a go.
I felt like the first wasn’t really an option, as it was my choice to start a business and not go for a 9-5 job at some multinational. Also, I felt, I was an adult, and it just felt wrong to keep running to my daddy for money, so there was a lot of ego and pride involved too.
So, I decided to give the struggling life a go, because I wanted to see if I could really survive. My dad started his consulting company from scratch too, so I should be able to do so as well.
It was tough…I mean reaaally tough for quite a while. I wouldn’t call myself spoiled, but I come from a good family and always got everything I needed, and almost everything I wanted. So it was a real lifestyle shift for me. However, I am very grateful for this period in my life, because I’ve learned and grown so much from it. I’ve gotten more tough, my mind got stronger. When you know you are capable of living uncomfortably, there isn’t much you’re afraid of anymore. I realised that fear of failure is actually the fear of having to live an uncomfortable life, but I survived…and I was fine. I know now that, no matter what happens in life, I will find a way to survive. I can easily adapt to changing circumstances.
Apart from learning great financial management skills, I realized how many things we tend to buy that we actually don’t need. I was used to buying new clothes every month (maybe even every week!), so many accessories, and all those little things that we splurge on and we don’t need. All the food we buy that goes bad, because we buy too much. You have to become inventive, creative to make the most out of what you have. The constant realization that every euro you spend now, you won’t have to spend tomorrow, so it has to be spent wisely. While it is not a way of living that I would like to maintain, as it is quite extreme, it has taught me so much. I’ve decided to maintain this new mentality and it still serves me well, because no matter how much you earn, it doesn’t hurt to be conscious.
The new mentality – habit of living with less – basically refers to no unnecessary shopping (Ask yourself, do I really need this? And be honest!), eating in (cooking), staying in (entertain yourself at home).
One of the results of employing this mentality is something I am extremely grateful for, which is looking for happiness from within, rather from external sources.
It’s the realization that, buying that ’’new dress that you don’t really need, but it’s soo cute and it will look great on instagram’’, is fun, but not real happiness.
During the struggle period I had to find ‘’free things’’ to do, things that I could enjoy without having to spend any cent. Apart from working a lot, I started reading more, writing more, streaming television series, enjoying nature, working out. All things that costs relatively little to no money, but are actually really good for you. Being in my early twenties, with all my friends still going out partying and splurging, it was tough. But as a result, I became happier from within, and it wasn’t based on external factors. I found out, that I didn’t need a lot of comfort to make me happy.
Sometimes the uncomfortable things in life are there to teach us lessons because to go through a change of habit, we need to feel uncomfortable. – Mo Seetubtim
Give it a try if you can. Learn to live with less. Become comfortable with living uncomfortably. Then you’ll realize that there’s more to life than finding comfort. Because after all, comfort is just an illusion.
Love,
Nadira
P.S. I bet you guys didn’t know I could walk on water…;-). Pictures taken at Babunhol Resort in my home country Suriname by Surej Tul.
Against A Lot Of Odds
I’m back from what I’ve experienced as a too fast going rollercoaster that launched me right into zombieland.
We moved into our beautiful and much larger office space where we can divide our 2 businesses, a separate office for Customized wear and a special showroom for Wulterkens Clothing, while still connected. For us the perfect combination. We did have some bumps in the road though, one of it was that the first few days we didn’t have any central heating, while still winter, so it was freezing, which got me very sick. There were some other issues as well, but I will not bore you with those details. Right before moving, we launched our new sport collection (part 1), but had some problems with delivery on our stock, so everything piled up. So much to do, so little time, lots of difficulties… and not long after I had my Business Marketing exam, which of course required a lot of studying. For those of you who don’t know, I am doing a part time Master program at the University in Amsterdam. (*Update 31-3-2015*: Just heard I aced my Business Marketing exam with a grade of 8,5 (out of 10), so I guess it was worth it!)
As excited as I was for all the new things happening (new office, new collection), I think you can imagine the amount of cortisol (stress-hormone) flowing through my body, while struggling to recover.
So it’s safe to say I’ve been a little busy, but hey what else is new! We’re back and we’ve just launched part 2 of the Wulterkens Sport Collection, check it out on www.wulterkensclothing.com! Coming soon (April) is our Summer Fashion Collection and another surprise, so stay tuned for that.
What I’ve learned from the pas month is that I can do and handle so much more than I thought I could. Another confirmation, in retrospect, that we tend to limit ourselves in our minds most of the time, but when certain situations demand action on our behalf and it’s just an absolute must (you know you can’t hide under the bed covers even if you’d really love to), it suddenly appears that you are able to do whatever it is you need to do.
If someone would have told me a month ago, what was going to happen (read: go wrong), I would have thought ‘’No thank you, I can’t handle that’’ and I would have skipped the entire moving part and a few other things.
‘’All limits are self-imposed’’, one of my favorite quotes and it’s nice to have a good reminder of it! So whenever you get into a crazy busy, too much to handle, everything going wrong and demanding your attention kind of phase, just breathe, and go with the flow. Don’t go hide in a corner, because although the temptation will be strong, it won’t solve anything and may lead to even bigger problems. So take responsibility, do all you can and it will pay off. If it doesn’t kill you, it only makes you stronger.
I’ve started training and eating healthy again since this week, in preparation for summer. #hotsummerbody, who’s with me?
Controlling my sugar & carb intake and keeping a regular workout schedule was just too much for me during the past month, so I let myself go a little, which has become visible in the mirror and I’m not happy with it, so it’s time to get strict and back at it.
I will be doing an update post on my fitness routine, as I will have a slightly different approach for the next few months. I’m also planning on doing some videos, with some good exercises that you guys can try that do a lot of good. If you girls/guys have special requests, please let me know, I will try to incorporate that.
Another great thing I just found out (to my surprise!) from the statistics of the blog is that for 2015 Lead When Others Follow has been viewed by awesome people from over 60 different countries. How cool is that! I want you all to know that I never expected this when I started blogging and I am extremely grateful to all of you who find my crazy life interesting and I really hope you can learn a little bit or get inspired.
Lots of love to all of you!
Nadira
Outfitdetails: My Wulterkens Varsity Jacket is from the new Functional Fashion Collection, Sporty, but chique, check it out here, also available in black & white.
Pants from ZARA Basic, Sneakers from All Star, Turtle Neck Sweater from WE.
24 Things 2014 Has Taught Me
The sound of birds tjirping as if they wouldn’t have a voice tomorrow, a dog occasionally barking, a light breeze of wind through the many plants and trees….I look outside and I see the sun and I can feel the wind on my skin…yes, I’m home! Checking in from Paramaribo, Suriname, South America, where I was born and raised until 18.
As much as I am enjoying it now, this was the first time in my life that I actually dreaded going home. Since I’ve been living in the Netherlands, I’ve been going home for Christmas and New Year’s every year, because my parents still live in Suriname and it’s always nice to be together during the Holidays. Every year when I had to go back to the Netherlands in January, I couldn’t wait until it was December again so I could go back home.
But this year, it was different. I think I’ve finally reached a point where I am content with the life I am living. I finally don’t have the need to “escape” to home. I didn’t want to go, because I didn’t want to leave my business to my partner alone. And I didn’t want to leave my partner, who is my partner in business, but also in life. Last year he came along with me, but this year things are too hectic, which is a good thing of course, it means things are going very well…But I was so sad to go.
Now I’m here and I am happy to be home. I am enjoying the little things mostly, like the weather and just being home, catching up with my mom and dad and some friends who live here. Oh and the food, can’t forget the food! Especially the fruits and veggies, everything is so fresh and natural.
More than anything, I’ve learned this year that you have to find your happiness in the little things.
As I’ve mentioned in my latest post, we’ve learned a lot this year, it’s been full of great things and lots of growth, but we also made some less smart decisions that became wise lessons for us, business wise, but also in general. I’ve decided to put the things I’ve learned this year in this last blog for 2014, mostly for myself, but maybe it’s a little help to you as well, a source of inspiration, to start the new year fresh and motivated. Some of them might be very obvious, but in practice they are often forgotten.
So here we go…
1. There is always, always, always something to be thankful for. Count your blessings, not your problems. Attitude of gratitude = the best attitude!
2. Always trust your intuition/gut feeling, it’s always right!
3. Business wise: Impulsive decisions can be good in the short term, but hurt you just as much in the long term.
4. If you already work 14 hours a day, 7 days a week like me, it’s not about working harder anymore, but about working more efficiently.
5. Believe more in yourself….You can do/be so much more than you think…All Limits are self-imposed!
6. Everybody pretends to be doing better than they actually are. The grass is always greener on the other side, don’t let this distract you from your goal. Focus on yourself.
7. Clear Communication & Good planning = More efficiency.
8. You’re only as important as your network.
9. Visualize, Visualize, Visualize! If you can dream it, you can do it!
10. Invest in yourself, whether it is by working/studying /exercising. Each minute that you invest in your own physical or mental well-being is a valuable investment that will definitely pay off. Try to learn something every day.
11. Love! Sometimes it’s easy to get carried away in your business or whatever it is that you are focused on. Don’t forget to enjoy some quality time with your loved ones (those that actually love and appreciate you).
12. Time is our most precious asset! Only invest your time in those that are worth it. Otherwise you lose, big time.
13. Walk your Talk, otherwise don’t talk at all.
14. Balance. Now this one is something I’m still not getting the hang of, but I really do hope to master in 2015. Balance is everything, if you are able to do it well; life becomes a lot easier and much more pleasant.
15. Set goals, but also lay out the steps to achieve them. A lot of people set goals, but have no idea on how to actually make them reality. It’s a step by step process.
16. Every time you were convinced you couldn’t go on, you did….The universe has a funny way of operating, but all you need to believe in, is that everything is going to be alright. So when things get tough, just hang on, keep going, keep fighting and don’t worry, everything is going to be amazing!
17. Trust the timing of your life. Everything happens for a reason. Accept, learn and go on.
18. No guts, no glory. Great things never come from comfort zones.
19. Sometimes you have to get knocked down lower than you’ve ever been to stand up taller than you ever where (Never a failure, always a lesson).
20. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity, find it!
21. To be able, at any moment sacrifice what you are, for what you will become.
22. It’s always impossible, until it’s done.
23. You’ve got to create your own luck.
24. She/He who dares, WINS.
Of course there is a lot more, but I consider these the most basic, fundamental and important. The rest is mostly in the same line of the above. Plus, we don’t have all day right!
Just like last year, my resolution is to keep on growing mentally, physically, spiritually…Just in every sense. Become smarter, better, stronger than I am now. And I want to love more, and give back more! What are your resolutions?
2013 was practice, 2014 was a warm-up, 2015 is Game time!
Thank you so much for following my life and experiences, I hope they have been and will continue to be an inspiration to your journey. Wishing you all the best in 2015!
Lots of love & Blessings,
Nadira
Outfitdetails: Heels & Co-oordinate (So in love with this color!): Missguided ; Clutch: Zara; Earrings: Swarovski.
*Pictures are taken in my beautiful garden in Suriname by my lovely Mom*
Pressure Creates Diamonds
As I’m sitting in my office on this cold rainy Saturday, waiting for my office to warm up a bit, I’m contemplating on how eventually all the dots will connect. Every piece of the puzzle will fall into place. Everything that’s happening, is happening for a reason.
There is this strong tendency that we all have to show off the better parts of our lives to the public. In general we tend to only/mostly share the good things that are happening in our lives with others and on social media. Nobody wants to see the struggle, they only want to see the glamour.
For a long time I’ve had and part of me still has, the tendency to create a certain image of myself and our business where it’s all and only about the success and growth. Because I only want people to see/believe things are going great. I come from a culture, where a lot of people, even family, for no other reason than simple jealousy love to hear when you’re not doing great. And I for one am not a person who wants to give them any satisfaction of the sort.
But then I realized how unrealistic and unfair it is to be dishonest; giving people the idea that there are only ups and no downs. Downs are as much part of life as ups are, and no one is excluded or gets spared. Everyone has their own issues, even the people from whom you don’t expect it. Everybody has their own shit to deal with. So why not own it, just like you do with the positive things. What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger right? So it even has an up-side to it.
The past few months we’ve been making some big investments to put our brand on a higher level. As my fellow marketers would understand, it’s pretty hard in some cases of marketing to directly connect a certain return to a particular marketing investment. And then you suddenly realize how vulnerable you are to the economy as a young brand. Let’s just say the past month hasn’t been easy. At some point it’s been like Murphy’s law. One disappointment after another. I didn’t think I could handle the stress anymore. You can work so hard (I’m talking roughly 90 hours a week) to create something, and within a few months of investments and ‘’not so smart’’ decisions things can make a total turnaround.
It’s painful, hard to deal with and to accept. Especially when it is your baby, it’s your creation, your ultimate goal and dream, everything you base your future upon. It’s something you’ve put all your money, time, energy, blood, sweat, tears in. But that’s the reality. You have to take it as it comes. It’s entrepreneurship.
We’ve learned so much during this period, literally an extremely expensive list of lessons learned. All these lessons, although I wish I didn’t have to learn them this way, are part of the pressure that eventually creates Diamonds. Or so I tell myself (Never a Failure, always a lesson). As nauseating as the ride may be, getting off the rollercoaster is simply not an option.
Just when I thought I reached my limits, I discovered I have the power to go beyond. I know one thing for sure. I was born one month too early and they didn’t think I was going to make it into this world. I fought for my life and now at 25 years I can feel it in my entire being that I’m here to create something big. So no matter what it will take, even if it means taking a few steps back, I will continue to fight. My partner, Edwin Wulterkens, has been fighting all his life as well. So the sure thing is…Wulterkens, as a brand, is a diamond in the making.
I hope that by being honest about our situation instead of pretending like most do, I am able to inspire you to keep on fighting, whatever battle you’re fighting. As I’ve said before…I know what I want and I’m gonna get it, no matter what it takes.
Conclusion: Never give up, never bend, just take control, adjust your sails. Tides eventually turn around and great things will come to you!
Plus: It does make a better story, I mean let’s be honest. If everything goes as planned, there is no adventure.
Stay focused!
Love,
Nadira
Outfitdetails: Multi-way Sweater: Victoria’s Secret; Pants: Zara; Heels: Missguided.
As most bloggers go darker with colors as the season changed, I wanted to do a lighter look in contrast. I’m still hooked on the nude-white look and it brightens up the day!
”An entire sea of water can’t sink a ship unless it gets inside the ship. Similarly, the negativity of the world around you can’t put you down unless you allow it to get inside you”.
