The Illusion Of Comfort
We all love comfort and we often associate having certain degree of comfort with happiness. Wealth provides us with comfort, which is one of the reasons why we strive for wealth. We think if we’re wealthy, we get more comfort, and we will become happier. This way of thinking results in us working our asses off for a comfortable life, whether it is for ourselves or for our loved ones.
But the thing is…Comfort is actually an illusion. An illusion that too many of us become slaves of, because it’s so easy to get sucked into.
Don’t lose yourself in the illusion of Comfort.
Many don’t know this, but at one point in my life, in the very beginning of starting with our businesses, I was extremely broke. We never worked with any investors and banks were very anxious at that time to give out loans to startups. At that time I was still a Bachelor student. Apart from some financial aid from my dad, we invested everything we earned (which wasn’t that much yet) into our new brand, which at the time wasn’t generating much income yet. It was a vicious circle. As you might know, brand awareness takes a load of time, I’m talking decades, not a year or two.
I found myself facing a harsh truth of life: Struggle to pay the rent and bills. I’ve never had to struggle like that before, because I was lucky to have my parents who always supported me financially all the way through college.
I had two options:
1. I could borrow more money from my parents.
2. I could give this struggling life a go.
I felt like the first wasn’t really an option, as it was my choice to start a business and not go for a 9-5 job at some multinational. Also, I felt, I was an adult, and it just felt wrong to keep running to my daddy for money, so there was a lot of ego and pride involved too.
So, I decided to give the struggling life a go, because I wanted to see if I could really survive. My dad started his consulting company from scratch too, so I should be able to do so as well.
It was tough…I mean reaaally tough for quite a while. I wouldn’t call myself spoiled, but I come from a good family and always got everything I needed, and almost everything I wanted. So it was a real lifestyle shift for me. However, I am very grateful for this period in my life, because I’ve learned and grown so much from it. I’ve gotten more tough, my mind got stronger. When you know you are capable of living uncomfortably, there isn’t much you’re afraid of anymore. I realised that fear of failure is actually the fear of having to live an uncomfortable life, but I survived…and I was fine. I know now that, no matter what happens in life, I will find a way to survive. I can easily adapt to changing circumstances.
Apart from learning great financial management skills, I realized how many things we tend to buy that we actually don’t need. I was used to buying new clothes every month (maybe even every week!), so many accessories, and all those little things that we splurge on and we don’t need. All the food we buy that goes bad, because we buy too much. You have to become inventive, creative to make the most out of what you have. The constant realization that every euro you spend now, you won’t have to spend tomorrow, so it has to be spent wisely. While it is not a way of living that I would like to maintain, as it is quite extreme, it has taught me so much. I’ve decided to maintain this new mentality and it still serves me well, because no matter how much you earn, it doesn’t hurt to be conscious.
The new mentality – habit of living with less – basically refers to no unnecessary shopping (Ask yourself, do I really need this? And be honest!), eating in (cooking), staying in (entertain yourself at home).
One of the results of employing this mentality is something I am extremely grateful for, which is looking for happiness from within, rather from external sources.
It’s the realization that, buying that ’’new dress that you don’t really need, but it’s soo cute and it will look great on instagram’’, is fun, but not real happiness.
During the struggle period I had to find ‘’free things’’ to do, things that I could enjoy without having to spend any cent. Apart from working a lot, I started reading more, writing more, streaming television series, enjoying nature, working out. All things that costs relatively little to no money, but are actually really good for you. Being in my early twenties, with all my friends still going out partying and splurging, it was tough. But as a result, I became happier from within, and it wasn’t based on external factors. I found out, that I didn’t need a lot of comfort to make me happy.
Sometimes the uncomfortable things in life are there to teach us lessons because to go through a change of habit, we need to feel uncomfortable. – Mo Seetubtim
Give it a try if you can. Learn to live with less. Become comfortable with living uncomfortably. Then you’ll realize that there’s more to life than finding comfort. Because after all, comfort is just an illusion.
Love,
Nadira
P.S. I bet you guys didn’t know I could walk on water…;-). Pictures taken at Babunhol Resort in my home country Suriname by Surej Tul.
A Better You: WHY (State Of Mind)
Upon request of many ladies (and some gents) that have been asking me for advice about training & nutrition the last few months…here is my version of what I like to call a complete lifestyle change for the better: ‘’A Better You’’, in body, mind and spirit.
I finally found some spare time to write, and especially on a topic like this, well, let’s just say, it’s going to be a long one, so make sure you get comfy and take notes. I’ve decided to split the whole lot into 3 parts, the WHY: State of Mind, the HOW part 1: Food & Nutrition, the HOW part 2: Fitness & HIIT.
On the 12th of august 2013, I decided I had enough. Enough of feeling so insecure about my looks, enough of not fitting into my clothing, or if I did fit into it, I didn’t look the way I wanted to. I remember we got so many VIP invites to exclusive parties and fashion events, but I could never find something to wear that I felt confident in. And I finally started realizing, it’s not the clothes, it’s Me.
How long am I going to live like this? With the constant excuse that I don’t have the time to work out, or due to all the long days working, no time to cook proper & healthy food.
No time. I think that’s the most used excuse by people who are not ready to commit to something, they know they want/have to do.
Time is precious, I think it’s one of the most valuable assets that we possess, however, our body, is right up there next to Time if you would put them on a list.
Rule number 1: You have to MAKE time. You make time for everything and everybody else. A lot of you waste time watching television, playing games, browsing on your phones etc. The moment you decide that your health and physique is a priority over doing other things, you will suddenly ‘’find’’ time.
As an entrepreneur I work 12-16 hours a day, 7 days a week. So where do I ‘’find’’ the time? What’s your excuse?
Yes, I know it’s cliché, but I love this quote by Jim Rohn: ‘’Take care of your body, it’s the only place you have to live in’’. I believe the quality of your life will increase if you take good care of your body, by working out and giving it the proper nutrition at the right time. To be able to consistently do so, you need the right mindset. The following quote describes it perfectly: ‘’We were all born with 3 things: A Mind, a Body and a Lifetime, how you use the first two determines the third’’.
So I guess most of you must be thinking by now: ‘’ok…so just tell me what to do now’’. Patience, I’m getting there…
The reason why I am taking you through my thought process, is because it is a fundamental part of making that switch to a different lifestyle. This whole process of changing it for the better, solely depends on your mindset. If you even have the slightest doubt, you will fail at this. Most people do, which is why I said in the beginning, most people aren’t ready. And it’s not for everyone. “If it were easy, everyone would do it’’. Moreover, society makes it even harder, as we live in a world where many things are portrayed as ”healthy”, for instance diet/ low calorie-everything, while it’s really poisoning. So it’s everything, but absolutely NOT easy.
First, you have to have a reason WHY. And it should be a good one. Good enough to change your entire lifestyle and maintain it.
My WHY was because I was tired of always dreaming to look a certain way, never being confident and happy with how I actually looked. I think most women will understand. I’ve never been really overweight or ‘’fat’’, but I’ve never been skinny or lean looking either. You could grab a full hand of ”fat” from my back and my thighs would rub against each other when I walked (hated that so much!).
Ever since I was conscious about my looks around my teenage years, I’ve always had this picture in my head of how I wanted to look. Or how I should look so boys would like me. You know the ideal picture of a woman that every guy would like. Which is of course an image portrayed by our media and not realistic whatsoever. It’s a trap most women fall in.
But ever since I entered the Fashion industry with my brand, I was constantly surrounded by models, celebrities, fashionistas, bloggers. Being a representative/face of my own brand, I realized I just had to look my best. Yes, it’s a shallow business, but it does make sense, fashion is and will always be about looks. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking about a size zero, just healthy and in the best ‘’shape’’ possible for your body type.
The thing I want most is to succeed in this business and most of all I want to be an inspiration, so this was/is my WHY.
Apart from the ‘’looking good’’; for a ‘’healthy’’ 24 year old, I always used to have some pain somewhere, things like migraines, back problems, low energy etc. I was just tired of it all. Both my partner and I realized that with the long hours we were making, and the unhealthy way we were living (ordering takeout almost every day, lots of snacking and chocolate, lots of soft drinks), we wouldn’t last very long to enjoy our earnings. So the second part of my WHY was to feel better, have more energy.
As I started this process, my WHY gradually shifted to another level, but I will get more into that later. You will see that your WHY will shift during the entire process, as you start seeing results.
So on august 12th 2013, both my partner and I decided to make a change. We did so gradually, and I would advise you all to do so as well. Just cutting everything that is unhealthy at once, might work for 2 days, some of you diehards may last a week, but eventually you will fall back into your old ways as your body will protest heavily. It’s really like kicking off an addiction.
Just like addicts go through an extremely intense process during their rehabilitation, you will experience the same. That’s why your WHY has to be so important, so solid, otherwise you are most likely to give up like most people do.
Your body is so used to receiving sugar and carbs, that it’s going to protest because it thinks that it needs it. But it doesn’t need most of the garbage we eat. It takes a while before your body gets used to your new way of eating and exercising. You have to give it that time. Basically everything is trained in the mind, so if you train yourself to eat veggies for a month or 2 strictly, your body will eventually crave veggies (same as the other way around).
‘’Most people have no idea how good their body is designed to feel’’.
You think you feel great after eating that yummy piece of chocolate or pizza, and that’s true to some point because your body releases endorphins, but when you start feeding your body what it really needs to function at its best and you have a regular workout schedule, you will experience the endorphins + satisfaction on a whole different level. My migraines, body pains etc. are gone, I am really fit and energized throughout the day, no need for naps in the afternoon etc.
Remember this: A well-built physique is a status symbol. It reflects that you worked hard for it. No money can buy it. You cannot inherit it. You cannot borrow it. You cannot hold on to it without constant work. It shows dedication. It shows discipline. It shows self-respect and self-love. It shows dignity. It shows focus, patience, work ethic and passion!
Figure out your WHY and your WHY will bring you to the next question, which is HOW. Stay tuned for next week’s blog: ‘A Better You: HOW part 1 on Food & Nutrition’’. I will give you my knowledge and expertise on food, various misconceptions on what to eat and not, plus a food diary.
Stay focused & Fit!
Love,
Nadira
P.S. I’ve decided, after long consideration to share my before and after. To me it’s really embarassing and I feel very exposed, but at the same time I am proud of what I’ve accomplished in only 4 months of time. I would normally never publish a picture like this for the world to see, but I want you guys to understand that I’m not just writing this, I’ve really lived it all. It’s all from personal experience. No photoshop, just Me.
No calorie counting, no scales, no pills or any of that stuff they try to tell you will work. Back to natural eating and basics and just hard work and dedication. I’ve had a little fall back since December, but I’ve been getting back on my grind, so I promise you this summer, another After picture and it will be a way better one compared to december!
”You don’t have to be perfect to inspire others, let people get inspired by how you deal with your Imperfection”.
- Published in Health & Fitness, Self-Discovery & Growth, Written Archives 2013-2018