The Unknown
I’ve decided to let you guys in on one of the things I initially intended to keep to myself. Because it has appeared to be a valuable life lesson to me, I figured it won’t hurt me to expose my vulnerable side a little bit, as it might help a lot of you through your journeys as well.
One of my frustrations that I’ve been working through in the past few months is having difficulty with ”not knowing”. I’ve always known myself as someone who knows exactly what she wants. I would describe myself as the type who always had a plan and everything figured out, but the past year I felt completely lost. Now I bet most of you are quite surprised reading this, because I know I always seem to have to all together, but the truth is, I’ve actually been quite a mess…(just really good at hiding it 😉 ).
I found myself falling into this gaping hole, completely lost. Despite running two companies, I still had the feeling that I didn’t know what I wanted to do in life; I started questioning everything I was doing. I didn’t know who I wanted to be, I literally felt as if I didn’t know anything anymore,”who am I, what do I stand for, am I on the right path, am I (good) enough?”….And it was SO scary! I lost my vision, my purpose, my drive and mojo. Especially for a control freak like me, it felt like I was going through the worst time of my life. I thought I was losing it honestly. And the worst part was, nobody could help me. Because nobody can answer these questions. for you, you need to find your own way.
So after months of inner-struggling and constantly in agony due to everything which seemed to be”unknown”, I decided to let it go. Because fighting to know wasn’t working out, it was actually only making me doubt everything even more. I let go of the panic I felt when I thought about everything I thought I should have had figured out by age of 27. I let go of the tremendous amount of self-pressure and doubt and said to myself, ”you know what Nadira, you’ll figure it out”, it’ll become clear, just focus on doing the things that trigger your passion, make you happy and give you energy. ”Eventually all the dots will connect”.
And the moment I did that, and used my precious energy for doing good for myself instead of fighting with myself, everything started changing. I knew I needed a lot to change, I wasn’t happy with where I was, but I didn’t know which direction to go. But the moment I stopped pressuring myself in needing to know, my next steps started to become clear to me. Amazing opportunities came out of ”nowhere”, and new paths were created for me.
In conclusion: the unknown can be frightening, believe me, I know. But I also found it to be a place where I discovered abilities I didn’t even know I had. And I believe the unknown is also the same place where I’ll accomplish more than I ever dreamed possible. I would advice to let go of the fear and just embrace it, let it reveal all those things you would never encounter if you’d always want to control and plan out everything in advance. In the end, I found the unknown to be like a breath of fresh air, exactly what I needed when I needed it. I learned that not knowing doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing.
I hope you enjoy my ‘‘Parisian Chique” photo diary shot in the rain (Yes, we die-hard like that ;-)!). All outfit details are listed below. Also check out my last fall/winter 2016 favourites post for all my fall fashion must haves, which I’m sure you’ll love!
And remember this:
”We do not fear the unknown. We fear what we project into the unknown”- Teal Swan.
Love,
Nadira
- Published in Self-Discovery & Growth, Written Archives 2013-2018
As I Began To Love Myself
I believe people come into your life for a reason, and always at the right time. I have several examples of beautiful souls that recently crossed my path just when I needed their influence and wisdom. One of them is a special lady who sent me this poem written by Charlie Chaplin on his 70th birthday. In this phase that I currently find myself in, I recognise so much of this poem that I just had to share it with you.
”As I Began To Love Myself” – Charlie Chaplin
As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is AUTHENTICITY.
As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody as I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me. Today I call it RESPECT.
As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it MATURITY.
As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment, so I could be calm. Today I call it SELF-CONFIDENCE.
As I began to love myself I quit steeling my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call it SIMPLICITY.
As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything the drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism.Today I know it is LOVE OF ONESELF.
As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is MODESTY.
As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where EVERYTHING is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it FULFILLMENT.
As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But As I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection WISDOM OF THE HEART.
We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born. Today I know THAT IS LIFE!
Love yourself!
Nadira
Full photo diary including all ready to shop outfit details below:
Shop my look (Click on the product pictures to go to shop):
Photography by Jesse Verboog.
I Had No Choice…
…but to boss up and take control.
The other day I was watching one of my favorite tv shows Suits. Apart from the tremendously sexy Harvey Specter, I learn a lot about life from this show, which is why I would recommend everyone watching it.
In one of the episodes from some seasons back, Harvey asked Mike: ”What are your choices when someone puts a gun to your head?”. Mike answered: ”You do what they say or they shoot you?”, where Harvey replied: ”Wrong. You take the gun. Or pull out a bigger one. Or, you call their bluff. Or, you do any one of a hundred and forty six other things. If you can’t think for yourself, maybe you’re not cut out for this”.
If you take this dialogue and apply it to life in general, there is so much you can learn. We’ve all been in situations where we feel like we have no choice. Like we have a gun to our head and no other options. Truth is, we always have a choice. We have so much power, if you consider that by even only choosing to look at the glass half full instead of empty, it changes the situation (the power of choosing to think differently, already changes perspective). But also, there is always a way to make happen what you want to happen, even if it’s a long path.
I’m not ready to tell you guys what I’ve been dealing with, but I’ve been fighting my own battles. One of the things I’ve encountered is that wherever life takes you, know that you are so much stronger than you think. You have the ability to, in ANY situation, choose to boss up, to choose to keep fighting, to find ways to make happen whatever it is you want to make happen. There is always a way, so think outside the box and don’t let any ”gun” intimidate you into a corner where you’re convinced there are no other options or into doing something you don’t want to.
Love,
Nadira
Wearing: Dress & Bag from SheIn. Photo diary including all direct shopping links below:
Shop my look: (Click on pictures to go to shop)
Photography by: Jesse Verboog.
- Published in Self-Discovery & Growth, Written Archives 2013-2018
Nothing Changes, Until You Do
There is a lot happening in my life at the moment…It’s all very personal, so I cannot share any details until I’ve figured out the most important things for myself. It’s a time of deep reflection and contemplation for me, which will inevitably lead to change. It’s so scary because it’s unknown, and for the exact same reason it’s exciting as well. It’s difficult because it requires completely stepping out of my comfort zone and being honest to myself, which I haven’t been for a while.
All I know for sure is…Nothing changes until you do. The very definition of ”Insanity” by the great Albert Einstein, is ”doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results”.
So…if you want things to work out differently, you have to behave differently, which starts by thinking differently.
It’s so easy to evoke responsibility and blame everyone and everything else for the situation. The problem with that is that you’re only fooling yourself. YOU are the common denominator in every situation in your life. So always start with yourself whenever you’re in a situation you want to change. Ask yourself: ”What can I do to change the situation?”
An example is that I often observe women around me dating the same kind of men, and not the good kind. They’re not happy, yet they will keep attracting those until they learn the lesson and choose differently….and that goes for pretty much everything else in life.
Sometimes it means sucking up your pride and realising that you’re in your own way of finding happiness. It means it’s time to be really honest with yourself, instead of that story you keep telling yourself.
”The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new” – Socrates. For more on the subject of change, read my past blog ”Change”.
Love,
Nadira
Full photo diary and all outfit details below (Click on product pictures to shop the item). Another lovely fashion shop you ladies will love me for sharing is Romwe. Gorgeous, high quality fashion shipped really fast internationally.
Outfit details (Click on pictures to go to shop the look): Blouse: Romwe.
- Published in Self-Discovery & Growth, Written Archives 2013-2018
27
I can’t believe it, because most of time I feel like I’m still that little girl discovering the big fascinating world around her…but yes, as of today (2nd of June 2016)…I’m officially 27!
One of the things I repeatedly hear is ”Your life is perfect”. Believe me, my friends, it’s not. I have my fair share of struggles, however, I choose to share the positive with you.
I prefer to count my blessings instead of my troubles.
You know you’re blessed when you are genuinely loved, appreciated and valued; when you have a healthy body, an intelligent mind, a roof over your head, good food on the table, millions of opportunities to make your dreams and goals come true, but also enough challenges to make you stronger and keep growing. You know you’re blessed when you can enjoy beautiful sunsets, and all the other little things you tend to take for granted. When you can breathe in clean air and feel safe. You know you’re blessed when if people ask you what you want for your birthday, you can’t come up with anything, because you already have everything. I honestly couldn’t be more grateful, so I’m celebrating life, in its perfect imperfection!
27 & The best is yet to come!
Love,
Nadira
P.S.Scroll down for more pictures, outfit details and direct shopping links.
*Update, June 3, 2016: You know you’re blessed when you’ve received almost 1000 of the sweetest birthday messages!
I’m overwhelmed, thank you from the bottom of my heart!!*
Outfitdetails: Dress & Shoes – Missguided.
Lipstick: Candy K by Kylie mixed with Sierra NYX Cosmetics.
Shop my look (click on pictures to go shop):
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- Published in Self-Discovery & Growth, Written Archives 2013-2018
The Unfair & The Precious
The past 2 weeks have been like a crazy, emotional rollercoaster. From celebrating that selected items of the Wulterkens Fitness Collection are available at Intersport DUO, to mourning the loss of a very close friend, almost family of ours.
It makes me realize that I am more alive than ever, so deeply experiencing these highs and lows. More so it makes me appreciate life more than ever. Like a slap in the face, the realization that it all can be over, just like that, and you have no control whatsoever. It doesn’t matter who we are, what we do, how many followers we have on Instagram and how much money in our bank account. Scary isn’t it?
The Priest in the church at the farewell ceremony said it beautifully: ‘’The only thing we are guaranteed from the first moment we breathe in life, is Death’’.
It’s exactly a week ago, June 2nd, since I turned 26; needless to say it wasn’t much of a celebration. The day itself flew by really fast, because I had my Digital Marketing exam (part of my part-time Master’s program at the University), and of course, due to everything (emotions, loads of work), I still had a lot of last minute studying to do.
I did however, take that night, and the days after, as days of reflection. Reflecting on life, which suddenly seemed more precious than normal. I was overwhelmed by all the sweet birthday wishes from family, friends, (business) acquaintances and even strangers. I am extremely grateful for all the love and everything in this life.
I took a step back and realized that, I’m not where I want to be in life yet, though I know I am on the right path towards this, and I am getting closer every day, step by step.
However, if somehow, it is decided that my time on this earth is over, I will be more than satisfied looking back on life. Of course, there is still so much I would want to have accomplished, and yes, I would have wanted to see more of this beautiful world. But I’ve been privileged, in so many ways. Maybe you guys think it’s creepy that I think this way, and believe me, I have absolutely no intention of leaving anytime soon, but I do think that it’s important to reflect on things, because it does effect the way you move forward in life.
We, as a society are automatically pressured into always wanting and needing more. More money, more cars, bigger boats, more convenience, more luxury. And in the end, we’ve spent all our precious time chasing all this, and when we’re gone, well, we don’t take any of it with us (as far as I know).
It’s never going to be enough anyway, everytime you’ve reached a milestone, it’s likely you’re already busy with achieving another one, because we’re always growing and wanting more.
So for myself, I’ve decided that I want to hold on to this ‘’freedom’’. Being able to be satisfied with the little things, the amazingly loving people around me, every sunset and sunrise, being alive, and healthy. And the rest…is extra!
Don’t get me wrong, I will still be working hard to achieve my goals, but I will give myself more of a break once in a while. There will always be more important things, because we set such high expectations for ourselves (atleast, I do). However, let’s say it would be your last day on this earth. My bet is that suddenly, the things that we are always so busy with, and are so important, aren’t even close to important anymore. You have to ask yourself, what would be important on that day? And I think that whatever that is, should be the focus moving forward.
The sudden and unfair loss of someone so young, full of life and love, just puts these things into perspective.
Life is unbelievably precious, spend it wisely!
Love,
Nadira
We went to the beautiful city centre of Utrecht and discovered some gorgeous, rare spots, most would not guess to be Utrecht, in the Netherlands. I’ve been wanting to do an ‘’All White Everything’’-look for some time now. I was wearing my sneakers for convenience and the plan was to finally do a shoot with my beautiful Giuseppe Zanotti X Kanye West ‘’Cruel Summer’’ Heels, I got some time ago (2013) and are more like a trophy in my closet. They are gorgeous, but not very comfortable to walk in, especially not in the city centre of Utrecht haha. So it turned into two different looks, sporty and chique. Which one is your favorite?
Outfitdetails: Dress: ASOS, Sandals: Giuseppe Zanotti X Kanye West: Cruel Summer, Sneakers: Nike, Necklace: Swarovski, Metallic Tattoos: Chique Tattoos; get 10% off with code NADIRA on www.chiquetattoos.nl
”And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years” – Abraham Lincoln
”At the end of the day, let there be no excuses, no explanations, no regrets” – Steve Maraboli
- Published in Self-Discovery & Growth, Written Archives 2013-2018
27 Ways To Get In Shape For Summer
With only about 6 weeks until summer officially kicks in, it’s time to get movin’! We all want to enjoy summer 2015 by looking at our best. There is a lot you can do in 6 weeks if you’re disciplined enough to stick to the next 27 steps. Who’s with me?
- Find your Why (Motivation) If you have a motivation to get in shape, which is your personal reason why you want to get healthier and fitter, you are most likely to pursue it. If your WHY isn’t convincing enough you are most likely to give up when things get hard. So figure out your WHY and if you like, share it with me in the comment section!
- Make a plan Planning is everything. Stick to a certain meal plan/pattern, and make a workout schedule. If you have it written down in your planner, you will have to move towards actually doing it. If you know what you have to eat, you will make proper arrangements (grocery shopping, cooking) to make it happen! As with everything, Good planning = Success!
- Love yourself & Believe in yourself You are beautiful, worthy, and lovable and you can do anything you set your mind to! Say it with me! This comes before everything and is regardless of how you look and how much you weigh!
- Patience: Remember there is NO easy way As easy as it is to put on the pounds, it’s not that simple to lose them. You have to keep in mind that you will really have to WORK, the fat is not going to magically disappear in a day, unless you still have the metabolism of a 16 year old (oh how I miss those times!). There are no magic pills, so be patient, progress takes time.
- Replace all of your drinks with H2O & Drink yourself skinny Water is the only liquid your body needs, and contains zero calories, so by replacing all your other soft drinks, juices, coffee (in excess of 2 cups a day) and other (sport)energy drinks with water you can cut out all unnecessary calories. Just by doing this you will notice immediate difference in your waistline. In case you find water a bit dull you can spice it up by adding a little bit of fresh mint, lemon or other fruit. My favorite summer drink is sparkling water with a slice of lemon, refreshing and healthy!
- Don’t forget the Royal part of the day You can skip meals (though you shouldn’t), but one you should never skip is breakfast! Breakfast, which is the meal you have within an hour after you wake up, is essential for starting your body’s engine. Research has shown that people who eat breakfast burn more calories throughout the day than those who don’t. Plus breakfast is the most fun meal of the day, because you can have a little bit more of everything since you will burn it off throughout the day anyway. Breakfast tip: Make sure it’s protein rich.
- Eat something (Healthy) every 2 hours By eating something every 2 hours you increase your metabolism, which is your bodies mechanism to burn calories and fat. It’s similar to an engine, fuel it up with gasoline and it get’s rolling. Keep your body kicking constantly to burn more calories (even when not active) by eating regularly.
- Divide your Meals into 6-8 small portions a day If you eat every 2 hours, it means you eat 6-8 times a day. Make sure you plan out your meals, so instead of 3 big portions a day (breakfast, lunch, dinner), you make it at least 6 smaller portions, so yet get hungry when 2 hours have passed. In the beginning, when you’re not used to eating smaller portions yet, you might still feel hungry after eating a meal. In this case drink loads of water after your meal to give you a full feeling.
- Prepare Your Meals and Snacks to avoid grabbing Unhealthy stuff. Preparation is essential to successfully eating healthy and clean. Without preparation you will grab the next best thing available when hungry and I bet you 100 euro’s that it isn’t close to healthy. Plan and prepare your meals before you start your day.
- Limit your stock of yumminess (or don’t buy at all) If you’re like me and you lack discipline and self-control, the best thing is to make sure you just don’t have any yumminess in the house. That way you can avoid cheating and binging when you’re not supposed to.
- Know the difference People often mistake the feeling of being hungry with actually being thirsty, moody or just feeling like a snack. If you know you just had a meal, your body is probably in need for hydration. Emotional eating is a common reason as to why people are overweight. If you’re feeling down, talk to a friend, go shopping, or best, go workout, but whatever you do, don’t get comfy on the coach with a can of Pringles.
- Keep it Balanced Keep your plate balanced by adding the right amount of healthy carbs, fats and proteins. The closer you get to summer, the lower you go into your carbs, while you add in proteins and healthy fats. Never cut out healthy carbs completely, it’s an essential fuel to your body. Keep away from refined and processed sugar (your body doesn’t need sugar, ever!). For more regarding nutrition, read here.
- Don’t Count Calories There are many people who will disagree with me on this, but in my experience, counting calories doesn’t really have any added value. If you eat the right things in the right proportions and you exercise, you will be fine. Counting calories only makes you overly self-conscious and takes way too much time. Instead of looking at the amount of calories a product contains, look at the values of fat, protein and carbohydrates to get an indication of whether it is right to eat or not.
- Don’t Dare to step on that Scale It’s a big mistake to measure your progress by weighing. Your body weight is composed of many things, and thus might fool you and lead to frustration and even giving up.
- Measure your Progress by taking Measurements & Pictures. You can measure your progress best by taking your measurements, taking pictures, measuring your fat% and just by looking in the mirror or referring to your belt. Your eyes are in this case more reliable than your scale. Read more here on why.
- Find an Activity/Sport you like A few of the points I’m mentioning below are fitness related, because fitness is my go to sport, but to be able to keep the fun and consistency in it, it’s important you find an activity that you really enjoy. It can be from dancing to any kind of sport, as long as your heart rate goes up. Some ways of exercising are more effective than others (in the long term), which is why I personally prefer Fitness.
- Make a Workout Schedule of at least 3 times a week, preferably 5-6 Make a regular workout schedule and stick to it. Make sure you break some sweat at least 3 times a week, but preferably 5-6 times if you want to achieve more progress fast. It’s a commitment, but it will be worth it. Make sure that these workout sessions are never shorter than 25 minutes and never longer than 75 minutes. Honestly, anything less than 3 times is nice, but will not get you in shape within 6 weeks.
- If you do cardio, always do HIIT Cardio Lots of you love to go running, spinning or do other forms of cardio. What most of us lack is time, but if you want to burn a significant amount of calories, you have to spend a lot of time doing cardio right? WRONG. The most efficient and effective way is to do HIIT Cardio, you will burn more calories (even later on when you’re not working out anymore) and you can do it in just 20 min. Read more on HIIT Cardio here.
- Build in Rest for your Muscle groups For those who do choose to lift weights, or do anything that really builds muscle mass: Your muscles need rest to repair and grow, so make sure you have 48 hours in between before training the same muscle groups again. Tips on Weight training & Exercises can be found here.
- Snooze or you Lose Sleep is one of the most important ingredients to a fit and healthy body. In some cases it can be even more important than exercise. Sleep abbreviation can lead to increased cortisol (stress hormone) levels and cortisol makes your body store fat. So snooze it for at least 7-8 hours/night!
- Get a Workout Buddy One of the best known motivations is having a workout buddy, who encourages you and dares you to get your booty off the couch and out of your comfort zone. Challenge each other, set goals together and have fun! (Only not too much fun & chatter, you do actually have to put in the sweat!)
- Make a Music Workout Playlist The right music can literally push you through your workout. Make a playlist (or different ones for different kinds of workouts). Find the songs that get you pumped up and motivated. Another thing I love about my music is that it drowns out every other noise, so I can focus on the exercise and the music.
- Workout in Style My favorite source of motivation! Hip, Stylish, Funky and Comfy workout clothing is a great motivation. Especially if it’s Wulterkens haha! You get to ‘’dress up’’ and sweat in style, which is a must for every fashionista. Knowing you look great, makes you feel great, and makes the process of working out more fun.
- Don’t compare yourself to others This one is so important! We are being flooded by pictures of beautiful abs and booties on Instagram and other social media. You don’t know their story, so don’t compare yourself to others. Every body type is different and some fitness models aren’t achieving their looks in a natural way. This can lead to you overtraining or starving yourself to achieve something that is not naturally possible. The thigh gap trend is another example. Just focus on yourself, be consistent, work hard, eat healthy, be patient and you will see results.
- Balance with a Cheatday (Yeah baby!) Proper nutrition counts for 70%, which is why they say abs are made in the kitchen. I do, however believe in moderation, so I believe that if you stick to a clean, healthy diet, you can enjoy a little bit of goodness every day. Or, as most fitness athletes do, schedule one day in the week, when you eat whatever it is you want. Pizza, Nutella pancakes, whatever it is, you can eat it, but only on that significant day. You don’t have to feel guilty about it, a cheatday can actually boost your metabolism, plus it keeps you sane during the week, because you know you have something to look forward to.
- Stop stopping Make a plan and stick to it. Don’t stop, because every time you do, you need to start all over again, and starting is the hardest part!
- Stick to a Healthy Lifestyle during and after summer Keep your meals healthy and stay active, during and after summer to avoid gaining the weight again very fast. Try to balance your cocktails and late night dinners with exercising the next day. Please don’t starve yourself the next day, since this will slow down your metabolism, and your body will store more fat. Make it your lifestyle to eat several small, healthy & balanced portions a day, with the occasional cheatmeal/day, exercise 3 times a week, sleep well, and drink lots of H2O. you will feel great and look great all through the year.
Good luck ladies! If you have any specific questions, feel free to ask in the comment section. And remember, good things come to those who sweat!
Love, Nadira
Outfit: Wulterkens SS15 Sport Collection.
- Published in Health & Fitness, Written Archives 2013-2018