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12 July 2025

Tag: Love yourself

Alone & Complete

Tuesday, 20 September 2016 by Nadira

In June this year I had the privilege of being interviewed in Magazine 4, a news television program in my home country Suriname on ABC (Channel 4). The interview was mainly about my vision on entrepreneurship possibilities in Suriname and female empowerment. Naturally I referred to my blog for more on my ideas on the above. One of the questions I received about my blog was if I also wrote about love and relationships, and when I answered ”not really”, the question was why, because it was assumed that many might be interested in my views on this. On that note I’ve decided to write about something that I’ve been thinking about for a while.

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Being in a relationship for longer than 8 years, I think many of you might think I’m not in the position to state what I’m about to tell you, yet it is in my opinion, one of the most important aspects of keeping a happy relationship.

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Whether you’re in a steady relationship, or single or anywhere in between those two options, you should, at any time, feel happy, complete and content on your own.
With on your own, I mean you should be able to enjoy yourself when alone. You don’t depend on any other individual for your happiness and feeling of completion. The other individual(s) should complement your life, not be indispensable to it.

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While this might logic to a lot of you (I really hope it already is), I see so many people around me waiting for approval and validation of others, which is literally the only thing that makes them feel happy and content. They can’t enjoy themselves when on their own, they need constant attention, entertainment and approval of others.

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Putting yourself into a position of needing others to feel content and complete, makes you vulnerable and dependent to others and will lead you into a constant fight for happiness. Why? Because at the end of the day we are all alone in this world. We cannot fully depend on others, not even our parents or our closest loved ones, simply because of the fact that they are human, with their own battles to fight and shortcomings.

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I’ve recently found myself in a phase where I felt so completely alone on this world, even while surrounded by my partner, my loving parents and very close friends. I realised that no matter how much they would want to help me, I was the only one who could really help myself with that which I was dealing with. No one might ever be able to fully give you what you want, which means you will be in search of happiness forever if waiting to find someone to give you that.

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It is a process and I think the realisation of this comes to all of us at different phases in our lives, but of course, the earlier you know this, the better. We are primed by society and our environment into believing that we need an ”other half” and we have to get married and have children by some time, because only then you will be successful and guaranteed a happy life. When you’re single for too long at some point in your life, people are generally  inclined to believe that something is wrong with you *Eye rolling smiley*. Given this common believe in many cultures that we are exposed to from early age, makes the fact that so many people think this way is not a surprise.

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Even when you are in a relationship, it’s the sexiest thing when you can enjoy yourself just as much without one another as when together. It’s not at all selfish and very healthy to take and genuinely enjoy your alone time. I think it’s the actual definition of an independent woman or man! Neediness (in any form) is never sexy. In today’s day and age, we can all (well most of us) earn our own money, but can we actually take care of ourselves?

Believe me when I tell you that you are enough. When you start the process of getting to know yourself, and then accepting and loving yourself for who you really are, you will find that you are complete on your own. You can be genuinely happy on your own and don’t need anyone else.

You know who’s going to give you everything you want?…Yourself!

Love,

Nadira

P.S.1. I would love for you guys to tell me if you really want to read more about my ideas on love and relationships, please leave a comment below!
P.S.2. Keep scrolling to outfit details: Dress by SheIn. Shoes by Mango. Direct shopping links below!!

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Shop my outfit:

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Photography by Jesse Verboog.

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  • Published in Love & Relationships, Self-Discovery & Growth, Written Archives 2013-2018
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As I Began To Love Myself

Tuesday, 13 September 2016 by Nadira

I believe people come into your life for a reason, and always at the right time. I have several examples of beautiful souls that recently crossed my path just when I needed their influence and wisdom. One of them is a special lady who sent me this poem written by Charlie Chaplin on his 70th birthday. In this phase that I currently find myself in, I recognise so much of this poem that I just had to share it with you.

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”As I Began To Love Myself” – Charlie Chaplin

As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is AUTHENTICITY.

As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody as I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me. Today I call it RESPECT.

As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it MATURITY.

As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment, so I could be calm. Today I call it SELF-CONFIDENCE. 

As I began to love myself I quit steeling my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call it SIMPLICITY.

As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything the drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism.Today I know it is LOVE OF ONESELF.

As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is MODESTY.

As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where EVERYTHING is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it FULFILLMENT.

As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But As I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection WISDOM OF THE HEART.

We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born. Today I know THAT IS LIFE!

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Love yourself!

Nadira

Full photo diary including all ready to shop outfit details below:

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Shop my look (Click on the product pictures to go to shop):
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Photography by Jesse Verboog.

bloggercasualcharlie chaplinchiqueentrepreneurfashionblogFashionbloggerFashionistaGrowthinner beautyinspirationlifelifestyleloveLove yourselfmindsetmotivationpersonal growthPositivityribbed dressSelf developmentself loveSophisticatedsportyStyleWisdom
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  • Published in Love & Relationships, Self-Discovery & Growth, Written Archives 2013-2018
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12 Ways To Feel GREAT In Today’s Pressure Society.

Saturday, 25 April 2015 by Nadira

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Something we all want, to feel good…to feel great! If you are reading this, the chance is you are in possession of a computer, smartphone or tablet, you have a roof above your head and food on your plate. Hopefully you are healthy and that would mean you have everything you need to feel great, because your are blessed.
Yet in this society we keep on being pushed and pulled to have the need for more in order to feel great. We think we need to have more, do better, work harder, look better. We are never really content. It’s a giant form of peer pressure, that I am experiencing as well, to look a certain way and accomplish certain things, because it is expected. I do realize, that usually I’m my worst critic, so I’m the one putting pressure on myself. And I find myself in this rush and extreme need of being better (inside, outside, you name it, just better).
As much as this can be a good thing, because it keeps you sharp, and keeps you evolving and growing as a person, it can make you feel really insecure and just not great in general. Why? Because you are not ‘’there’’ yet. And in your mind, where you are now, isn’t good enough.
I’ve thought about this a lot, to find a way to deal with it and came up with 12 ways to feel great, while in the constant process of evolving.

  1. Remember you will always be a ‘’Work in Progress’’
    We will always be a work in progress. We will never be ‘’there’’, we will never be perfect, because even if we would be, our head would be telling us that we still need this, and that to be perfect. (Let’s assume for this statement that perfection is even possible). A recent example: When I started with Fitness I had this picture in my mind of how I wanted to look. This mental picture kept me going, yet when I reached it, I didn’t even realize it. In my head this picture had gradually evolved, making me think that I wasn’t there yet. Most of the time, we are our own worst critics. When you accept that even when you’re old and wrinkly, you will still have so many things you would want to do better; you will feel so much more relaxed and confident about the progress you make, because it’s not something finite, there is no end to it, and anything is possible.
  2. Find balance between working on yourself and loving the way you are now
    Change is great, growth is essential. Yet we have to stop thinking ‘’when I look like that, I will be happy’’ or ‘’only when I achieve that, I will be worthy’’.
    Start loving yourself for the person you are now, even if you’re not the person you want to be yet. Identify the wonderful things about yourself, certain traits, abilities, achievements, things you love about the way you look . Despite the fact that you would want to improve, you are still a lovely, beautiful person with qualities. So embrace that, and keep on reminding yourself of these things while you are working on yourself.IMG_6926photoshop
  3. Stop Comparing
    In today’s society, we get overrun by success stories, pictures and videos of others around the world. It’s not only the celebrities and magazine covers anymore, but technology has made it possible to follow the lives of many others. This makes it even easier to constantly compare yourself to others. You think you know their life, and you would love to have what they have; to do what they do.
    First, let me tell you, everyone only shows off the great things in their lives, not their struggles along the way. Second, STOP, just stop! It’s good to look up to people and try to find out the strategies they use to get where they are. But everything beyond that is not healthy. You only have part of the story, and most of the time, thing just aren’t what they seem.
    An example: Instagram is being taken over by the fitness hype, which is great because it encourages a lot of people to work out. But I see too many ladies around me obsessing with having abs, booties and muscles and having/wanting to look a certain way, that is in some cases not even possible to achieve naturally and they starve themselves for it, because they just don’t know the right way to achieve this. I will write more about this soon, but the message is to just stop comparing, because it does more harm than good. Count your blessings and focus on yourself, your own progress. The more energy you put into yourself, the more you will get out of it, and the greater you will feel.
  4. Do more YOU
    Invest in yourself, whether it is by taking some me-time and just take a long bath, or a vacation. There are endless possibilities for this, depending on your personality. You can go from reading a book, taking up a certain hobby or activity, to taking an extra course or workshop in the area you want to excel in. As long as you do something for you, that you enjoy and know is good for you.IMG_6945photoshop
  5. Don’t wait for other’s approval/applause
    This one is a hard one, for me at least. You know those people who always say, I don’t care what anyone thinks? Well I am one of them. Only I do care (to certain extent). I’m still working on finding out why approval of others is so important to most of us, even if we might not want to admit it. But when we accomplish something cool, we do like it when people around us acknowledge this. If you ask me, that’s the basic foundation of social media. Sharing the good things, the accomplishments, all in exchange for a ‘’like’’.
    I cannot tell you how to get rid of this need for approval, because I am still working on it myself. I can, however, tell you how I deal with it. I’ve decided to value my own approval more than that of others. In the end we know ourselves better than anyone else does. We can be the best judge of ourselves, and we know how we’ve struggled and when we’ve stepped out of our comfort zone to achieve something. Therefore, applaud yourself, when you’ve achieved whatever it is you wanted to. If others do so as well, it’s a nice extra, but having that inner approval is so much more valuable and should be the most important.
  6. Celebrate victories, even the smallest ones!
    Since we are talking about victories, I have found that celebrating them, no matter how small, really feels great. Even though it might be just a small step, it is a step in the right direction that you haven’t made before, and it might have required some to a lot of effort, so it is worth celebrating. It’s also motivating to get to the next step, and the next, and so on.IMG_6972photoshop
  7. Know your strengths and develop them
    We are all good at something, some of us have excellent communication skills, others can persuade very well and others can juggle or draw or dance really well. Whatever it is, it is likely that you enjoy doing these things, because you have a talent for it, and it feels rewarding. Even if you might not be able to make a living out of everything, I would encourage you to invest time into these strengths. It will make you feel great about yourself, because you’re great at it and you will get better and better.
  8. Set Goals and most important Stick to them
    Setting goals is easy. Sticking to them, well that’s another story. It’s not always easy, especially if the goal requires controversial change in your daily life or just lots of effort and time. Yet there is no worse feeling than regret of not having pursued the steps to achieve your goals. You’re always going to be busy, it will never be a perfect time, but just do it. Focus and go. You will feel great by putting it in the works, sticking to the plan, because the closer you get, the better the feeling. I personally love the feeling of checking that box next to the task on my to do list.IMG_6953photoshopc
  9. Do good (for others).
    Last Sunday, we had the privilege to receive a special 9 year old boy with severe diabetes at the Wulterkens Clothing office. In collaboration with the Make A Wish Foundation, we made it a really special day for him. He arrived in style, in a beautiful white limo, and got to create his very own design sport t-shirts with us. There were balloons, cake, and we had his family come along with him. Afterwards he went to the Ajax Stadium in Amsterdam to watch a soccer game and he got to stand on the side lines and see everything up close. There was no better feeling and I am extremely grateful for this experience. Just to see the smile on his face. Anyway, do good, because it feels great to give. Even if it’s just something small, as long as you give back.
  10. Realize that everyone else around you has Insecurities.
    For some reason, when we know that others share the same struggle, we find some sort of peace with it. There is something in the collective that soothes us, as long as we are not the only one, right? Well in this case, this might make you feel better. Remember that all of us, even the greatest, have insecurities, struggles, pain, issues etc. That’s life, and we’re only human. So whenever you feel insecure, just know that you are not the only one and it doesn’t have to be a limitation, unless you make it one.
    I don’t know if this is a direct incentive to feel great, but it does put things in perspective and makes you embrace life, the way it is, even if it’s not easy. If you think about the fact that even Beyonce has her insecurities, yet she is the amazing artist that she is, you know that you can be that amazing version of yourself as well, despite your insecurities.IMG_6960photoshopc
  11. The power of thought
    As I’ve mentioned before, we are our own worst critics. Try to understand and remind yourself that you and the way you decide to see and think about things create your reality. If you’re being too hard on yourself, you are the one making it difficult and making yourself unhappy. If you hold yourself to unrealistic standards, it’s you and your thoughts that make you feel insecure (not anyone else).
    At the same time, you have the power to create another reality, one that makes you happier, more motivated, more positively driven and more acknowledged of the small steps of progress you make. Remember all limitations are self-imposed, by thoughts and fears that are created in our own mind and we choose to listen to them or not.
  12. Count your blessings, Be Grateful & Smile.
    It’s cliché, but do it. Every day, when you wake up, count your blessings, thank for them & smile. It’s going to be a good day. There is always something to be thankful for, and acknowledging this can make you feel great. Life is all about the little things anyway. Learn to appreciate them. No matter where you are, it can always be worse. And if you hit rock bottom, you can only go up. Be grateful for the fact that you are alive and able to pursue your dreams. An attitude of gratitude will get you far.

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Be  great, feel great. Remember: Happiness is not a destination, it’s the journey.

Love,

Nadira

Outfitdetails:
Boots: Zara || Dress, Hat & Coat: Missguided || Bag: River Island || Bracelet: Hermes Collier de Chien.

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  • Published in Business & Entrepreneurship, Self-Discovery & Growth, Written Archives 2013-2018
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Always A Lady

Wednesday, 20 November 2013 by Nadira

In my opinion, what makes a lady are two things: Elegance and Class. The funny thing is, with both, you either have it or you don’t.
I had a hard time trying to find my own definitions of elegance and class, because what makes both has to do with a certain subtleness that can best be experienced.

I found a few quotes from amazing ladies that capture my thoughts in the best words.

‘’Class’’ by Ann Landers

”Class never runs scared.
It is sure-footed and confident.
It can handle anything that comes along.

Class has a sense of humor.
It knows a good laugh is the best lubricant for oiling the machinery of human relations.

Class never makes excuses.
It takes its lumps and learns from past mistakes.

Class knows that good manners are nothing more than a series of small, inconsequential sacrifices.

Class bespeaks an aristocracy that has nothing to do with ancestors or money.

Some wealthy “blue bloods” have no class, while individuals who are struggling to make ends meet are loaded with it.

Class is real. It can’t be faked.

Class never tried to build itself by tearing others down.
Class is already up and need not strive to look better by making others look worse.

Class can “walk with kings and keep it’s virtue and talk with crowds and keep the common touch.” Everyone is comfortable with the person who has class because that person is comfortable with himself.

If you have class, you’ve got it made.

If you don’t have class, no matter what else you have, it doesn’t make any difference.”

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I’ve always been inspired by the gorgeous Audrey Hepburn and I love her definition of Elegance:
‘’Elegance is the only Beauty that never fades’’

I immediately think of my mom. I’m so lucky that I have a very elegant and classy mom, who taught me most of these things. She always taught me that less is more and the older I get, the more I experiment with fashion, I believe that, what matches my personality and looks the best is in the simplicity. And apparently,  Coco Chanel agrees: ‘’Simplicity is the keynote of all true elegance’’.

Unfortunately the ‘’role models’’ now a days, don’t show much class or elegance. With all due respect, because they are all great in what they do. I think they are so focused on leaving their mark, that they feel they have to behave in an eccentric/‘’loud’’ manner to stand out. They have a unique style, but it’s not very classy. I just hope that all the younger girls who admire them know the difference.

Don’t get me wrong, you can wear something sporty or sexy and still look classy and elegant, it’s really more a matter of charisma, grace, confidence and poise. It’s in the way you ‘’walk’’ and ‘’talk’’. Maybe I’m old fashioned, but I believe class and elegance really make a Woman.

Stay classy ladies!

Love,

Nadira

Outfit details:
Wulterkens Airborne Studded Sweater; Skirt: Nastygal; Boots: Colin Stuart

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“Class is an aura of confidence that is being sure without being cocky. Class has nothing to do with money. Class never runs scared. It is self-discipline and self-knowledge. It’s the sure-footedness that comes with having proved you can meet life. ” – Ann Landers

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‘’Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication’’ – Leonardo Da Vinci

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“Elegance is a glowing inner peace. Grace is an ability to give as well as to receive and be thankful. Mystery is a hidden laugh always ready to surface! Glamour only radiates if there is a sublime courage & bravery within: glamour is like the moon; it only shines because the sun is there.”
― C. Joybell C.

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‘’Nothing makes a women more beautiful than the belief she is beautiful’’ – Sophia Loren

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  • Published in Self-Discovery & Growth, Written Archives 2013-2018
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