As I Began To Love Myself
I believe people come into your life for a reason, and always at the right time. I have several examples of beautiful souls that recently crossed my path just when I needed their influence and wisdom. One of them is a special lady who sent me this poem written by Charlie Chaplin on his 70th birthday. In this phase that I currently find myself in, I recognise so much of this poem that I just had to share it with you.
”As I Began To Love Myself” – Charlie Chaplin
As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is AUTHENTICITY.
As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody as I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me. Today I call it RESPECT.
As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it MATURITY.
As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment, so I could be calm. Today I call it SELF-CONFIDENCE.
As I began to love myself I quit steeling my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call it SIMPLICITY.
As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything the drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism.Today I know it is LOVE OF ONESELF.
As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is MODESTY.
As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where EVERYTHING is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it FULFILLMENT.
As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But As I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection WISDOM OF THE HEART.
We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born. Today I know THAT IS LIFE!
Love yourself!
Nadira
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Photography by Jesse Verboog.
Sorry, Not Sorry
Have you ever noticed how frequently you use the word sorry? I might secretly be a bit of a perfectionist but do I therefore need to apologize for every little messy detail in my life? I think it’s surely a point to reconsider and to question yourself, ‘am I proclaiming to be an alter ego of how people want to see me?’. Social pressures are taking the lead when it comes to people’s needlessness feeling like they need to apologize for their triumphs.
It’s like we feel obligated to say sorry because we feel like we have to. Out of politeness, respect to others and so on. We should never have to apologize for being normal human beings. Here are 5 things you should no longer apologize for:
1. Being Successful
We tend me be humble when it comes to this matter but I think we can all relate to our ambition, commitment and overwork hours at work. Being successful can intimidate others but hey, believe me when I say that it’s a fabulous thing and no need to say sorry to please anyone or for the benefit of the insecure people around you.
2. Showing our emotions.
It sounds legit yet many of us apologize for how we feel or what we think. However, we should embrace that we have the power to show how we feel and wear our hearts on our sleeves. Never apologize for being vulnerable and telling people what your heart is actually feeling.
3. Our pasts.
Things have happened and mistakes have been made but it doesn’t mean that they define us. All too often, we find ourselves apologizing for the past. It has actually helped us becoming who we are today, we fell – we came back stronger and yes, with a deeper understanding of life – the scars have taught us what we exactly want.
4. Being authentic.
Society has us where it wants us. Media exposures holds an image of how the ‘perfect’ woman (or man) should be – it’s like the unwritten standard we all think we should persist. Truth is, life is too complicated to not be yourself, you need to express yourself and embrace your uniqueness – it is your quality and definitely not something you should apologize for.
5. Always putting ourselves first.
As cliché as it may sound, love starts with yourself – it’s the most important and long-lasting relationship you will ever have. The moment you choose to put someone else before you is the moment you are putting yourself second. Follow your ambitions and love your friends and family, the rest will follow but never apologize for making your own decisions.
Sorry, not sorry…
Love,
Nadira
Keep scrolling! Photo diary continues below including all outfit details. If you click on the product pictures below, you can shop the outfit immediately. Dress & Bag: SheIn. Sandals: Missguided.
- Published in Self-Discovery & Growth, Written Archives 2013-2018
When Things Don’t Go Your Way
For quite a while I’ve been struggling. Some of you who know me a little bit by now know that I am someone who wants a lot of things, and usually it’s all at the same time. I aspire to do/achieve a lot, which leads to disappointment when things for whatever reason don’t go as planned in my head.
I think we’ve all been there, it can be something such as not getting to where you want to be in a certain amount of time that you’ve planned, or investing a lot into a project that fails. This, depending on how important it is in your life, can really keep you up at night. Many of us, especially those who are dedicated or emotionally involved tend to hang on and persevere, in the hope/belief that it is what’s good for them, and they have to have it no matter what it takes or how long. While I’m all for perseverance, and never giving up…there is a point where you have to take a step back, and evaluate your situation.
While doing so myself…suddenly, it hit me…and man-oh-man am I grateful for the extent of which my eyes have opened for certain things not going my way. I believe everything happens for a reason, and after evaluating several similar situations in my life where I felt that I had to have something, which eventually didn’t go my way…I found that I was better off each and every time.
There is that saying ‘’when one door closes, another one opens’’, and I found it to be very true. Recently, I found myself saying to my partner about a project that fell through that we were bummed about, that ”if it weren’t for that, we wouldn’t be able to take on another one”, which ended up being much more lucrative. While this is in business, I strongly believe the same goes for everything else in life. When you let go of what you ‘’think’’ you want, that is the moment you allow what you truly deserve to enter into your life.
Focus on what happiness, love, and peace feels like, but don’t focus too hard on trying to work out how exactly you will get there. Sometimes we can become so blinded by what is in front of us that it prevents us from seeing what can become FOR us.
There is much more for you to see, experience, and learn. Who you feel you need to be with may not be best for you. The job you feel you just have to have, may not give you that joy and security that you truly want.
Do you want to have a life that is full of joy and peace, or do you want to encounter a string of events that completely turns out the way you wish? Sometimes they go hand in hand, but other times you must sacrifice one for another.
A close friend of mine recently told me: ‘’Don’t be afraid to let go because of the fear that you will never experience something so special again’’. Because one way or the other you will, it just might come in a different shape than you expect.
There is a difference between visualizing your ideal reality and visualizing your heart’s’ desire. In an ideal reality you may marry that celebrity crush but feel unloved. Move into that great big house, yet feel empty. Our acquisitions feed off visualization and focus, our spiritual growth, however, feeds on positive emotion.
What are you still holding onto today that you feel you cannot live without or let go? Life is constantly changing, we are constantly changing, so sometimes it’s better to let go and embrace new possibilities and opportunities. Do not forget that all that you need is within you…and while I type this, it’s a big note to myself, because I honestly tend to forget that sometimes.
When a door closes knock on it a few times. But if it still doesn’t open, let it stay close. In career, in love, in life. When you see the period at the end of the sentence, don’t try to turn it into a comma. Know when something is over, and move on to whatever better is waiting.
Love,
Nadira
Outfitdetails: Dress, Coat & Shoes: Missguided. Lipcolor: Candy K by Kyliecosmetics.
- Published in Self-Discovery & Growth, Written Archives 2013-2018
Manipulate Your Own Mind
Starting From Small, It Becomes Big – The trick to manipulate your own mind.
One thing I’ve learned up to this point in life is that the mind has a memory. And it’s damn smart; it “subconsciously” recognizes patterns. Once the patterns become a habit, it’s hard to stop. It requires extra mental strength to break the habit. This is why it’s so difficult to stop doing something that you are used to doing, like smoking or becoming a morning person. At the same time, it offers the opportunity to create better habits for life, given that you are aware of this and have the mental power to pursue an activity long enough for your mind to make it a recognizable pattern.
“Starting from small, it becomes big.”
Starting with white lies, repeatedly, you become a compulsive liar.
Starting with shoplifting a candy bar, repeatedly, you become a thief.
At the same time…
Starting with exercising at least 3 times a week, repeatedly, you become fit.
Starting with eating healthy everyday, repeatedly, you become well and healthy.
Starting with walking with your back straight, repeatedly, you have an elegant posture.
Starting with smiling and being positive, you become a happy person to be around inside and out and attract people with the same energy to you.
Starting with giving unused clothes and loose change to the homeless, repeatedly, you become empathetic and giving.
Starting with sharing things with others, repeatedly, you become generous.
Starting with only doing things that align with your core values, repeatedly, you are a person of meaningful values.
Starting with reading, repeatedly, you become addicted to learning.
Starting with making sure you get what you need done for the day, repeatedly, you are always on top of everything.
Starting with being focused, each task at a time, repeatedly, you can easily get into the flow and be productive.
Starting with thinking outside the box, repeatedly, you become extremely creative.
Starting with getting out of your comfort zone, repeatedly, you become confident and fearless.
And so on…
Conclusion:
Starting with telling yourself what you want to achieve in life, repeatedly, you will get there.
Starting with just getting it started, repeatedly, anything you want to be and do, you can be and do.
So instead of thinking ‘’It’s too hard to stop or change’’ or ‘’I don’t know where to start’’, just start, and go step by step, day by day. Self-Mastery comes with consistency or as the great Aristotle once said ‘’We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.’’
Love,
Nadira
P.S. Pictures taken on a lovely day out in Haarlem, the Netherlands. Such a lovely city.
Outfit details: Sweater: H&M, Pants: Missguided, Heels: Mango, Sunglasses: ZeroUv, Lips: Dolce K by Kyliecosmetics.
Raise Your Standards
The Master, The Fighter & The Moonwalker
It’s February 1, 2016 and I honestly feel like I haven’t properly started 2016…at least not the way I wanted to. Having spent half of the month of January in my home country Suriname, I was out of my usual working environment. When I arrived in the Netherlands, I really needed some time to get back out of vacation mode into a normal routine, with a serious case of Jet lag hitting me combined with a stubborn flu, from which I’m still recovering two weeks later.
Right before I left for Suriname for the holidays I felt so overwhelmed by everything I was doing that I knew I was close to suffering from a burn out. For a long time I suffered from writer’s block and lack of inspiration, just because I was trying to accomplish too many things at the same time (which is also why you haven’t heard from me for quite a while). I’m not the most creative person, but I found myself completely lacking creativity. It felt like I lost my Mojo.
Suriname, which still feels like home, was good to me, as it always is. The (too little) time spent relaxing, swimming, sleeping, taking walks in nature has done me good, yet still when I came back to the Netherlands, I didn’t feel ready to handle the chaos again. I still don’t feel completely ready, but I guess I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.
2016 is going to be an interesting year, at the least. It’s the year I’ll be graduating from the University with a Master’s degree in Marketing. It’s the year I will officially launch my third business Madame Selfmade, which I will tell you guys more about soon (for real this time). It’s also the year I’ll bring my other 2 businesses Customized Wear and Wulterkens to a higher level. With a completely newly furnished office, and an entire new look and feel of my Sport, Fashion & Lifestyle brand Wulterkens, it has become both exciting and challenging to bring it to the next level.
2016 is the year of ‘’Raising Standards’’.
I hope to find my balance of being the workaholic my 3 businesses + thesis require me to be, with exploring meditation and boxing. Quite a combination, I know! I’m already working on becoming more skilled in Boxing, as I found it’s the perfect workout for me to blow off steam, and it’s most definitely the best way to get/stay in a killer shape. Meditation appears to be more similar to boxing than I thought, as it is more of a ”fight” than anything else now. Luckily, I have the best guidance for both boxing and meditation. Another goal of mine this year is to learn the Moonwalk! (the people who know me closely are probably laughing out really loud right know, but it’s just soooo friggin’ cool, so I’mma do it!).
Raising standards (with everything) & Be even more Badass than before….Sounds like a plan right?
As you can tell from my goals and responsibilities, it’s easy for me to become overwhelmed and burnt out. I’ve given it a lot of thought, but for me, doing less is simply not an option at the moment. I’ve always been a multitasker, but one thing I’m working on now, is really taking things step by step. With a lot of focus on each step/task, and not thinking about the other steps/tasks until I’ve completed the first. This focus helps me with completing the tasks at hand with success, without becoming stressed with all the other things I have to do. So I write down everything I have to do, I prioritise them according the level of importance or urgency, and then I just focus on doing whatever needs to be done first. One thing at a time, and so on…
While this seems logical and easy, it’s really not if your head is all over the place, and you think you can do 4 things at the same time and still be efficient. This was probably the reason I was close to a burn out 2 months ago, so I’m hoping that by mastering this ”step by step, one thing at a time- technique”, I will be able to handle things better with less stress, be more efficient and productive.
I would love to hear about your resolutions and how they are going so far. Or maybe you are starting along with me today, February first? Remember, you can start (over) at any time, you don’t need to wait another year. All you need is a new dawn and a new day!
I had to really discipline myself the past 2 weeks to get into it, and so far, so good. Still have a long way to go, but nobody ever said it was going to be easy. If it was easy, everyone would do it! ;-). Oh…and if you happen to know any other handy tactics on dealing with the above, please share!
Love,
Nadira
P.S. As some of you might know, I am a fan of simplicity, and there is nothing more intriguing than a woman in a simple, little black dress. The one I’m wearing is called MARA, exclusively available at one of my favorite Dutch online shops www.jurkjes.com.
Heels & Clutch: Zara. Necklace Tattoo: www.chiquetattoos.nl. Earrings: H&M.
Lipstick: A mix of Chili by MAC Cosmetics & 85722 by Contem1g Make up.
Location: Hotel Royal Torarica, Paramaribo, Suriname.
When on vacation in my beautiful home country Suriname, I would definitely recommend The Torarica Group of Hotels, if you find luxury and comfort a must. I had the privilege to shoot in the Royal botanical garden, with peaceful and impressive Buddha, ponds with mini waterfalls and local Tropical fishes, the saltwater swimming pool, Gazebo’s, a unique giant chess board and the Mangrove forest along the Suriname River.
Big thank you to Royal Torarica for the hospitality!
Photography by Surej Tul, special thank you! Copyrights: Nadira R. Ramautarsing.
The Unfair & The Precious
The past 2 weeks have been like a crazy, emotional rollercoaster. From celebrating that selected items of the Wulterkens Fitness Collection are available at Intersport DUO, to mourning the loss of a very close friend, almost family of ours.
It makes me realize that I am more alive than ever, so deeply experiencing these highs and lows. More so it makes me appreciate life more than ever. Like a slap in the face, the realization that it all can be over, just like that, and you have no control whatsoever. It doesn’t matter who we are, what we do, how many followers we have on Instagram and how much money in our bank account. Scary isn’t it?
The Priest in the church at the farewell ceremony said it beautifully: ‘’The only thing we are guaranteed from the first moment we breathe in life, is Death’’.
It’s exactly a week ago, June 2nd, since I turned 26; needless to say it wasn’t much of a celebration. The day itself flew by really fast, because I had my Digital Marketing exam (part of my part-time Master’s program at the University), and of course, due to everything (emotions, loads of work), I still had a lot of last minute studying to do.
I did however, take that night, and the days after, as days of reflection. Reflecting on life, which suddenly seemed more precious than normal. I was overwhelmed by all the sweet birthday wishes from family, friends, (business) acquaintances and even strangers. I am extremely grateful for all the love and everything in this life.
I took a step back and realized that, I’m not where I want to be in life yet, though I know I am on the right path towards this, and I am getting closer every day, step by step.
However, if somehow, it is decided that my time on this earth is over, I will be more than satisfied looking back on life. Of course, there is still so much I would want to have accomplished, and yes, I would have wanted to see more of this beautiful world. But I’ve been privileged, in so many ways. Maybe you guys think it’s creepy that I think this way, and believe me, I have absolutely no intention of leaving anytime soon, but I do think that it’s important to reflect on things, because it does effect the way you move forward in life.
We, as a society are automatically pressured into always wanting and needing more. More money, more cars, bigger boats, more convenience, more luxury. And in the end, we’ve spent all our precious time chasing all this, and when we’re gone, well, we don’t take any of it with us (as far as I know).
It’s never going to be enough anyway, everytime you’ve reached a milestone, it’s likely you’re already busy with achieving another one, because we’re always growing and wanting more.
So for myself, I’ve decided that I want to hold on to this ‘’freedom’’. Being able to be satisfied with the little things, the amazingly loving people around me, every sunset and sunrise, being alive, and healthy. And the rest…is extra!
Don’t get me wrong, I will still be working hard to achieve my goals, but I will give myself more of a break once in a while. There will always be more important things, because we set such high expectations for ourselves (atleast, I do). However, let’s say it would be your last day on this earth. My bet is that suddenly, the things that we are always so busy with, and are so important, aren’t even close to important anymore. You have to ask yourself, what would be important on that day? And I think that whatever that is, should be the focus moving forward.
The sudden and unfair loss of someone so young, full of life and love, just puts these things into perspective.
Life is unbelievably precious, spend it wisely!
Love,
Nadira
We went to the beautiful city centre of Utrecht and discovered some gorgeous, rare spots, most would not guess to be Utrecht, in the Netherlands. I’ve been wanting to do an ‘’All White Everything’’-look for some time now. I was wearing my sneakers for convenience and the plan was to finally do a shoot with my beautiful Giuseppe Zanotti X Kanye West ‘’Cruel Summer’’ Heels, I got some time ago (2013) and are more like a trophy in my closet. They are gorgeous, but not very comfortable to walk in, especially not in the city centre of Utrecht haha. So it turned into two different looks, sporty and chique. Which one is your favorite?
Outfitdetails: Dress: ASOS, Sandals: Giuseppe Zanotti X Kanye West: Cruel Summer, Sneakers: Nike, Necklace: Swarovski, Metallic Tattoos: Chique Tattoos; get 10% off with code NADIRA on www.chiquetattoos.nl
”And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years” – Abraham Lincoln
”At the end of the day, let there be no excuses, no explanations, no regrets” – Steve Maraboli
- Published in Self-Discovery & Growth, Written Archives 2013-2018
Change
Change…As inevitable as it is, some fear it, some love it. I prefer to embrace it, because change is given.
Nothing in this world is free from change, everything is subject to a form of change or at the least a perception of change.
Change for me often comes with novelty and freshness, in the form of new beginnings and challenges. Even when I was younger, I would, at least twice a year, change the interior of my room. I would move the bed to another wall, and my desk to the other, facing a different angle. I would stay up all night cleaning out my closets, and organizing documents, books etc. Feeling new, fresh and relaxed afterwards. I’ve always had this longing for change after a certain period of time.
At the moment everything is changing, luckily for the better. I can finally announce that we are moving to a new, much bigger office for both of our companies. A separate Showroom for our Sports & Casual Brand Wulterkens & special Production area for Customized Wear.
At the same time, we are working on the launch of part 1 of the new Wulterkens’ fashionable sports collection. To say that it’s a crazy busy time is an understatement, but we are starting a new chapter. A new beginning where our businesses are taken to a higher level, something we’ve been working on for a long time now. I am super happy, grateful and excited!
One thing I have clearly noticed is: A change in Focus = A change in lifestyle. You get what you focus on, so the smart thing would be to focus on what you want. If you want things to change for the better, you have to do and be everything that will make it better. In line with the law of attraction, I’ve experienced that what you focus your energy on, you will attract and create as a reality, whether it’s doing something physical or just a thought.
From this perspective, change is beautiful and infinite. I just love something about the fact that at any point in life, we can choose to change ourselves and our situation; the fact that we always have the choice to start fresh and create, whatever comes after, to our ‘’ideal’’. It does however, require balls (courage), a lot of hard work, dedication and perseverance, since change usually doesn’t come overnight. It often requires breaking out of your comfort zone and doing less fun things. Fact is, if we really want it, we can change ourselves…our mindset, our actions, our bodies etc.
Of course we cannot always change anything and everything. One thing a lot of people do is to try to change others, which is something that rarely happens unless that significant person wants to change themselves. Sometimes you cannot change a certain complex situation. One of my favorite quotes from my Mom in this case is: ‘’If you can change it, then do so. If you can’t change it, then accept it and change your perception of it’’. Pretty similar to Maya Angelou’s quote: ‘’If you don’t like something, change it; if you can’t change it, change your attitude’’. Relativity is key here; always choose to look on the bright side of things, which helps focus more positive energy on to your goals.
From this perspective, change = growth and taking control/responsibility/action. Not leaving your life to what may or will be, but actively contributing in creating a life you want. Just like Steve Maraboli’s advice: ‘’Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.” or like Rumi’s advice: “Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”
And one of my absolute favorites, which has become sort of a motto to me: ‘’Edit your life, frequently and ruthlessly, it’s your Masterpiece, after all’’.
Love,
Nadira
“Change will not come if we wait for some other person, or if we wait for some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.” – Barack Obama
Outfitdetails: Dress: Missguided. Shoes: Aerosol. Sunglasses: Nastygal. Bracelet: Hermes Collier de Chien.
P.S.
these pictures are taken at a remarkable, historical location in my hometown Paramaribo, Suriname: Fort Zeelandia. Now partly a Museum, it has actually marked certain points of change in Surinamese history several times. Dark pages of history, unfortunately, from which too little people have learned. Those that know the history will know what I mean, but I will not elaborate on the subject. Despite the fact that I have very clear opinions regarding Politics, I’ve decided not to disclose on them in my blogs, keep it light.
P.S. 2
A few of my lovely readers asked me where I find the time in between the chaos to write. Well, most of the time I write concepts, when ideas come to my mind or before I go to sleep in bed. That way, all I have to do is structure it, check on spelling errors, add a few things and voila! Most of this post was written over the past 3 months.
My pictures are usually taken on the go to somewhere, so it’s little extra effort and can be planned in between my usual to do’s. Sometimes it’s hard to find a nice location though, so this does require a little bit of planning if you want to give your outfit a little more edge by matching it into an appropriate surrounding.