The Unknown
I’ve decided to let you guys in on one of the things I initially intended to keep to myself. Because it has appeared to be a valuable life lesson to me, I figured it won’t hurt me to expose my vulnerable side a little bit, as it might help a lot of you through your journeys as well.
One of my frustrations that I’ve been working through in the past few months is having difficulty with ”not knowing”. I’ve always known myself as someone who knows exactly what she wants. I would describe myself as the type who always had a plan and everything figured out, but the past year I felt completely lost. Now I bet most of you are quite surprised reading this, because I know I always seem to have to all together, but the truth is, I’ve actually been quite a mess…(just really good at hiding it 😉 ).
I found myself falling into this gaping hole, completely lost. Despite running two companies, I still had the feeling that I didn’t know what I wanted to do in life; I started questioning everything I was doing. I didn’t know who I wanted to be, I literally felt as if I didn’t know anything anymore,”who am I, what do I stand for, am I on the right path, am I (good) enough?”….And it was SO scary! I lost my vision, my purpose, my drive and mojo. Especially for a control freak like me, it felt like I was going through the worst time of my life. I thought I was losing it honestly. And the worst part was, nobody could help me. Because nobody can answer these questions. for you, you need to find your own way.
So after months of inner-struggling and constantly in agony due to everything which seemed to be”unknown”, I decided to let it go. Because fighting to know wasn’t working out, it was actually only making me doubt everything even more. I let go of the panic I felt when I thought about everything I thought I should have had figured out by age of 27. I let go of the tremendous amount of self-pressure and doubt and said to myself, ”you know what Nadira, you’ll figure it out”, it’ll become clear, just focus on doing the things that trigger your passion, make you happy and give you energy. ”Eventually all the dots will connect”.
And the moment I did that, and used my precious energy for doing good for myself instead of fighting with myself, everything started changing. I knew I needed a lot to change, I wasn’t happy with where I was, but I didn’t know which direction to go. But the moment I stopped pressuring myself in needing to know, my next steps started to become clear to me. Amazing opportunities came out of ”nowhere”, and new paths were created for me.
In conclusion: the unknown can be frightening, believe me, I know. But I also found it to be a place where I discovered abilities I didn’t even know I had. And I believe the unknown is also the same place where I’ll accomplish more than I ever dreamed possible. I would advice to let go of the fear and just embrace it, let it reveal all those things you would never encounter if you’d always want to control and plan out everything in advance. In the end, I found the unknown to be like a breath of fresh air, exactly what I needed when I needed it. I learned that not knowing doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing.
I hope you enjoy my ‘‘Parisian Chique” photo diary shot in the rain (Yes, we die-hard like that ;-)!). All outfit details are listed below. Also check out my last fall/winter 2016 favourites post for all my fall fashion must haves, which I’m sure you’ll love!
And remember this:
”We do not fear the unknown. We fear what we project into the unknown”- Teal Swan.
Love,
Nadira
- Published in Self-Discovery & Growth, Written Archives 2013-2018
Big Bets & Jumping
A little bit longer than a week ago I had the privilege of being invited to the Inspiration 360 event in the Ziggodome in Amsterdam. The evening was more than inspiring with influential entrepreneurs as keynote speakers such as Sir Richard Branson, Bear Grylls, Anita Alberse and Al Gore. My partner got lucky to meet Sir Richard Branson personally, which was awesome.
A lot that has been said that night has been confirming to us that we’re on the right path and track with our mindsets. At the same time we’ve learned a lot. One of the things Anita Alberse said was really interesting and not long after, her words have really guided us while making some very important business decisions.
What she explained was that in investing, but also in life, we tend to make a number of small bets, because we assume that to be safer. However, according to the Blockbuster strategy she speaks of, there is less risk in making fewer large investments or so called ”big bets”. Going all out on one project appears to be a safer strategy.
This made me think of a video I came across of Steve Harvey, who was talking about taking risks in life and business, which he referred to as ”jumping”. ”If you want to be successful, you have to jump” he said.
As we speak, there are big bets being made and my partner and I decided to make a jump with our business. The risk is high, but the rewards are expected to be much higher, so we’re doing it! Unfortunately you will have to wait a little bit longer before I can tell you what exactly will be happening, but believe me as I say, it’s a big step for us and it’s going to be awesome!
This being said, I probably will not be able to blog consistently during the upcoming two months. Will do my best to do a post at least once every 3-4 weeks though, so no worries.
Leaving you with a quote by Mark Zuckerberg: ”The biggest risk is not taking any risk… In a world that’s changing really quickly, the only strategy that is guaranteed to fail is not taking risks”.
Sending you all my love!
Nadira
Full photo diary & Outfit details below.
Sweater: SheIn. Shoes: Timbaland. Bag: River Island. Hat: H&M.
Outfit details:
Photography by Jesse Verboog.
As I Began To Love Myself
I believe people come into your life for a reason, and always at the right time. I have several examples of beautiful souls that recently crossed my path just when I needed their influence and wisdom. One of them is a special lady who sent me this poem written by Charlie Chaplin on his 70th birthday. In this phase that I currently find myself in, I recognise so much of this poem that I just had to share it with you.
”As I Began To Love Myself” – Charlie Chaplin
As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is AUTHENTICITY.
As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody as I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me. Today I call it RESPECT.
As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it MATURITY.
As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment, so I could be calm. Today I call it SELF-CONFIDENCE.
As I began to love myself I quit steeling my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call it SIMPLICITY.
As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything the drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism.Today I know it is LOVE OF ONESELF.
As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is MODESTY.
As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where EVERYTHING is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it FULFILLMENT.
As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But As I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection WISDOM OF THE HEART.
We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born. Today I know THAT IS LIFE!
Love yourself!
Nadira
Full photo diary including all ready to shop outfit details below:
Shop my look (Click on the product pictures to go to shop):
Photography by Jesse Verboog.
I Had No Choice…
…but to boss up and take control.
The other day I was watching one of my favorite tv shows Suits. Apart from the tremendously sexy Harvey Specter, I learn a lot about life from this show, which is why I would recommend everyone watching it.
In one of the episodes from some seasons back, Harvey asked Mike: ”What are your choices when someone puts a gun to your head?”. Mike answered: ”You do what they say or they shoot you?”, where Harvey replied: ”Wrong. You take the gun. Or pull out a bigger one. Or, you call their bluff. Or, you do any one of a hundred and forty six other things. If you can’t think for yourself, maybe you’re not cut out for this”.
If you take this dialogue and apply it to life in general, there is so much you can learn. We’ve all been in situations where we feel like we have no choice. Like we have a gun to our head and no other options. Truth is, we always have a choice. We have so much power, if you consider that by even only choosing to look at the glass half full instead of empty, it changes the situation (the power of choosing to think differently, already changes perspective). But also, there is always a way to make happen what you want to happen, even if it’s a long path.
I’m not ready to tell you guys what I’ve been dealing with, but I’ve been fighting my own battles. One of the things I’ve encountered is that wherever life takes you, know that you are so much stronger than you think. You have the ability to, in ANY situation, choose to boss up, to choose to keep fighting, to find ways to make happen whatever it is you want to make happen. There is always a way, so think outside the box and don’t let any ”gun” intimidate you into a corner where you’re convinced there are no other options or into doing something you don’t want to.
Love,
Nadira
Wearing: Dress & Bag from SheIn. Photo diary including all direct shopping links below:
Shop my look: (Click on pictures to go to shop)
Photography by: Jesse Verboog.
- Published in Self-Discovery & Growth, Written Archives 2013-2018
Sorry, Not Sorry
Have you ever noticed how frequently you use the word sorry? I might secretly be a bit of a perfectionist but do I therefore need to apologize for every little messy detail in my life? I think it’s surely a point to reconsider and to question yourself, ‘am I proclaiming to be an alter ego of how people want to see me?’. Social pressures are taking the lead when it comes to people’s needlessness feeling like they need to apologize for their triumphs.
It’s like we feel obligated to say sorry because we feel like we have to. Out of politeness, respect to others and so on. We should never have to apologize for being normal human beings. Here are 5 things you should no longer apologize for:
1. Being Successful
We tend me be humble when it comes to this matter but I think we can all relate to our ambition, commitment and overwork hours at work. Being successful can intimidate others but hey, believe me when I say that it’s a fabulous thing and no need to say sorry to please anyone or for the benefit of the insecure people around you.
2. Showing our emotions.
It sounds legit yet many of us apologize for how we feel or what we think. However, we should embrace that we have the power to show how we feel and wear our hearts on our sleeves. Never apologize for being vulnerable and telling people what your heart is actually feeling.
3. Our pasts.
Things have happened and mistakes have been made but it doesn’t mean that they define us. All too often, we find ourselves apologizing for the past. It has actually helped us becoming who we are today, we fell – we came back stronger and yes, with a deeper understanding of life – the scars have taught us what we exactly want.
4. Being authentic.
Society has us where it wants us. Media exposures holds an image of how the ‘perfect’ woman (or man) should be – it’s like the unwritten standard we all think we should persist. Truth is, life is too complicated to not be yourself, you need to express yourself and embrace your uniqueness – it is your quality and definitely not something you should apologize for.
5. Always putting ourselves first.
As cliché as it may sound, love starts with yourself – it’s the most important and long-lasting relationship you will ever have. The moment you choose to put someone else before you is the moment you are putting yourself second. Follow your ambitions and love your friends and family, the rest will follow but never apologize for making your own decisions.
Sorry, not sorry…
Love,
Nadira
Keep scrolling! Photo diary continues below including all outfit details. If you click on the product pictures below, you can shop the outfit immediately. Dress & Bag: SheIn. Sandals: Missguided.
- Published in Self-Discovery & Growth, Written Archives 2013-2018
Nothing Changes, Until You Do
There is a lot happening in my life at the moment…It’s all very personal, so I cannot share any details until I’ve figured out the most important things for myself. It’s a time of deep reflection and contemplation for me, which will inevitably lead to change. It’s so scary because it’s unknown, and for the exact same reason it’s exciting as well. It’s difficult because it requires completely stepping out of my comfort zone and being honest to myself, which I haven’t been for a while.
All I know for sure is…Nothing changes until you do. The very definition of ”Insanity” by the great Albert Einstein, is ”doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results”.
So…if you want things to work out differently, you have to behave differently, which starts by thinking differently.
It’s so easy to evoke responsibility and blame everyone and everything else for the situation. The problem with that is that you’re only fooling yourself. YOU are the common denominator in every situation in your life. So always start with yourself whenever you’re in a situation you want to change. Ask yourself: ”What can I do to change the situation?”
An example is that I often observe women around me dating the same kind of men, and not the good kind. They’re not happy, yet they will keep attracting those until they learn the lesson and choose differently….and that goes for pretty much everything else in life.
Sometimes it means sucking up your pride and realising that you’re in your own way of finding happiness. It means it’s time to be really honest with yourself, instead of that story you keep telling yourself.
”The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new” – Socrates. For more on the subject of change, read my past blog ”Change”.
Love,
Nadira
Full photo diary and all outfit details below (Click on product pictures to shop the item). Another lovely fashion shop you ladies will love me for sharing is Romwe. Gorgeous, high quality fashion shipped really fast internationally.
Outfit details (Click on pictures to go to shop the look): Blouse: Romwe.
- Published in Self-Discovery & Growth, Written Archives 2013-2018
27
I can’t believe it, because most of time I feel like I’m still that little girl discovering the big fascinating world around her…but yes, as of today (2nd of June 2016)…I’m officially 27!
One of the things I repeatedly hear is ”Your life is perfect”. Believe me, my friends, it’s not. I have my fair share of struggles, however, I choose to share the positive with you.
I prefer to count my blessings instead of my troubles.
You know you’re blessed when you are genuinely loved, appreciated and valued; when you have a healthy body, an intelligent mind, a roof over your head, good food on the table, millions of opportunities to make your dreams and goals come true, but also enough challenges to make you stronger and keep growing. You know you’re blessed when you can enjoy beautiful sunsets, and all the other little things you tend to take for granted. When you can breathe in clean air and feel safe. You know you’re blessed when if people ask you what you want for your birthday, you can’t come up with anything, because you already have everything. I honestly couldn’t be more grateful, so I’m celebrating life, in its perfect imperfection!
27 & The best is yet to come!
Love,
Nadira
P.S.Scroll down for more pictures, outfit details and direct shopping links.
*Update, June 3, 2016: You know you’re blessed when you’ve received almost 1000 of the sweetest birthday messages!
I’m overwhelmed, thank you from the bottom of my heart!!*
Outfitdetails: Dress & Shoes – Missguided.
Lipstick: Candy K by Kylie mixed with Sierra NYX Cosmetics.
Shop my look (click on pictures to go shop):
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- Published in Self-Discovery & Growth, Written Archives 2013-2018
The Illusion Of Comfort
We all love comfort and we often associate having certain degree of comfort with happiness. Wealth provides us with comfort, which is one of the reasons why we strive for wealth. We think if we’re wealthy, we get more comfort, and we will become happier. This way of thinking results in us working our asses off for a comfortable life, whether it is for ourselves or for our loved ones.
But the thing is…Comfort is actually an illusion. An illusion that too many of us become slaves of, because it’s so easy to get sucked into.
Don’t lose yourself in the illusion of Comfort.
Many don’t know this, but at one point in my life, in the very beginning of starting with our businesses, I was extremely broke. We never worked with any investors and banks were very anxious at that time to give out loans to startups. At that time I was still a Bachelor student. Apart from some financial aid from my dad, we invested everything we earned (which wasn’t that much yet) into our new brand, which at the time wasn’t generating much income yet. It was a vicious circle. As you might know, brand awareness takes a load of time, I’m talking decades, not a year or two.
I found myself facing a harsh truth of life: Struggle to pay the rent and bills. I’ve never had to struggle like that before, because I was lucky to have my parents who always supported me financially all the way through college.
I had two options:
1. I could borrow more money from my parents.
2. I could give this struggling life a go.
I felt like the first wasn’t really an option, as it was my choice to start a business and not go for a 9-5 job at some multinational. Also, I felt, I was an adult, and it just felt wrong to keep running to my daddy for money, so there was a lot of ego and pride involved too.
So, I decided to give the struggling life a go, because I wanted to see if I could really survive. My dad started his consulting company from scratch too, so I should be able to do so as well.
It was tough…I mean reaaally tough for quite a while. I wouldn’t call myself spoiled, but I come from a good family and always got everything I needed, and almost everything I wanted. So it was a real lifestyle shift for me. However, I am very grateful for this period in my life, because I’ve learned and grown so much from it. I’ve gotten more tough, my mind got stronger. When you know you are capable of living uncomfortably, there isn’t much you’re afraid of anymore. I realised that fear of failure is actually the fear of having to live an uncomfortable life, but I survived…and I was fine. I know now that, no matter what happens in life, I will find a way to survive. I can easily adapt to changing circumstances.
Apart from learning great financial management skills, I realized how many things we tend to buy that we actually don’t need. I was used to buying new clothes every month (maybe even every week!), so many accessories, and all those little things that we splurge on and we don’t need. All the food we buy that goes bad, because we buy too much. You have to become inventive, creative to make the most out of what you have. The constant realization that every euro you spend now, you won’t have to spend tomorrow, so it has to be spent wisely. While it is not a way of living that I would like to maintain, as it is quite extreme, it has taught me so much. I’ve decided to maintain this new mentality and it still serves me well, because no matter how much you earn, it doesn’t hurt to be conscious.
The new mentality – habit of living with less – basically refers to no unnecessary shopping (Ask yourself, do I really need this? And be honest!), eating in (cooking), staying in (entertain yourself at home).
One of the results of employing this mentality is something I am extremely grateful for, which is looking for happiness from within, rather from external sources.
It’s the realization that, buying that ’’new dress that you don’t really need, but it’s soo cute and it will look great on instagram’’, is fun, but not real happiness.
During the struggle period I had to find ‘’free things’’ to do, things that I could enjoy without having to spend any cent. Apart from working a lot, I started reading more, writing more, streaming television series, enjoying nature, working out. All things that costs relatively little to no money, but are actually really good for you. Being in my early twenties, with all my friends still going out partying and splurging, it was tough. But as a result, I became happier from within, and it wasn’t based on external factors. I found out, that I didn’t need a lot of comfort to make me happy.
Sometimes the uncomfortable things in life are there to teach us lessons because to go through a change of habit, we need to feel uncomfortable. – Mo Seetubtim
Give it a try if you can. Learn to live with less. Become comfortable with living uncomfortably. Then you’ll realize that there’s more to life than finding comfort. Because after all, comfort is just an illusion.
Love,
Nadira
P.S. I bet you guys didn’t know I could walk on water…;-). Pictures taken at Babunhol Resort in my home country Suriname by Surej Tul.
Raise Your Standards
The Master, The Fighter & The Moonwalker
It’s February 1, 2016 and I honestly feel like I haven’t properly started 2016…at least not the way I wanted to. Having spent half of the month of January in my home country Suriname, I was out of my usual working environment. When I arrived in the Netherlands, I really needed some time to get back out of vacation mode into a normal routine, with a serious case of Jet lag hitting me combined with a stubborn flu, from which I’m still recovering two weeks later.
Right before I left for Suriname for the holidays I felt so overwhelmed by everything I was doing that I knew I was close to suffering from a burn out. For a long time I suffered from writer’s block and lack of inspiration, just because I was trying to accomplish too many things at the same time (which is also why you haven’t heard from me for quite a while). I’m not the most creative person, but I found myself completely lacking creativity. It felt like I lost my Mojo.
Suriname, which still feels like home, was good to me, as it always is. The (too little) time spent relaxing, swimming, sleeping, taking walks in nature has done me good, yet still when I came back to the Netherlands, I didn’t feel ready to handle the chaos again. I still don’t feel completely ready, but I guess I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.
2016 is going to be an interesting year, at the least. It’s the year I’ll be graduating from the University with a Master’s degree in Marketing. It’s the year I will officially launch my third business Madame Selfmade, which I will tell you guys more about soon (for real this time). It’s also the year I’ll bring my other 2 businesses Customized Wear and Wulterkens to a higher level. With a completely newly furnished office, and an entire new look and feel of my Sport, Fashion & Lifestyle brand Wulterkens, it has become both exciting and challenging to bring it to the next level.
2016 is the year of ‘’Raising Standards’’.
I hope to find my balance of being the workaholic my 3 businesses + thesis require me to be, with exploring meditation and boxing. Quite a combination, I know! I’m already working on becoming more skilled in Boxing, as I found it’s the perfect workout for me to blow off steam, and it’s most definitely the best way to get/stay in a killer shape. Meditation appears to be more similar to boxing than I thought, as it is more of a ”fight” than anything else now. Luckily, I have the best guidance for both boxing and meditation. Another goal of mine this year is to learn the Moonwalk! (the people who know me closely are probably laughing out really loud right know, but it’s just soooo friggin’ cool, so I’mma do it!).
Raising standards (with everything) & Be even more Badass than before….Sounds like a plan right?
As you can tell from my goals and responsibilities, it’s easy for me to become overwhelmed and burnt out. I’ve given it a lot of thought, but for me, doing less is simply not an option at the moment. I’ve always been a multitasker, but one thing I’m working on now, is really taking things step by step. With a lot of focus on each step/task, and not thinking about the other steps/tasks until I’ve completed the first. This focus helps me with completing the tasks at hand with success, without becoming stressed with all the other things I have to do. So I write down everything I have to do, I prioritise them according the level of importance or urgency, and then I just focus on doing whatever needs to be done first. One thing at a time, and so on…
While this seems logical and easy, it’s really not if your head is all over the place, and you think you can do 4 things at the same time and still be efficient. This was probably the reason I was close to a burn out 2 months ago, so I’m hoping that by mastering this ”step by step, one thing at a time- technique”, I will be able to handle things better with less stress, be more efficient and productive.
I would love to hear about your resolutions and how they are going so far. Or maybe you are starting along with me today, February first? Remember, you can start (over) at any time, you don’t need to wait another year. All you need is a new dawn and a new day!
I had to really discipline myself the past 2 weeks to get into it, and so far, so good. Still have a long way to go, but nobody ever said it was going to be easy. If it was easy, everyone would do it! ;-). Oh…and if you happen to know any other handy tactics on dealing with the above, please share!
Love,
Nadira
P.S. As some of you might know, I am a fan of simplicity, and there is nothing more intriguing than a woman in a simple, little black dress. The one I’m wearing is called MARA, exclusively available at one of my favorite Dutch online shops www.jurkjes.com.
Heels & Clutch: Zara. Necklace Tattoo: www.chiquetattoos.nl. Earrings: H&M.
Lipstick: A mix of Chili by MAC Cosmetics & 85722 by Contem1g Make up.
Location: Hotel Royal Torarica, Paramaribo, Suriname.
When on vacation in my beautiful home country Suriname, I would definitely recommend The Torarica Group of Hotels, if you find luxury and comfort a must. I had the privilege to shoot in the Royal botanical garden, with peaceful and impressive Buddha, ponds with mini waterfalls and local Tropical fishes, the saltwater swimming pool, Gazebo’s, a unique giant chess board and the Mangrove forest along the Suriname River.
Big thank you to Royal Torarica for the hospitality!
Photography by Surej Tul, special thank you! Copyrights: Nadira R. Ramautarsing.