Logo Logo Logo Logo Logo
Follow me  IG  FB YT
  • Home
  • About
  • Contact
  • Home
  • About
  • Contact

23 Apr When Things Don’t Go Your Way

Posted at 00:15h in Self-Discovery & Growth, Written Archives 2013-2018 by Nadira 0 Comments

For quite a while I’ve been struggling. Some of you who know me a little bit by now know that I am someone who wants a lot of things, and usually it’s all at the same time. I aspire to do/achieve a lot, which leads...

Read More
FOR YOU
  • Adventure & Travel
  • Business & Entrepreneurship
  • Health & Fitness
  • Love & Relationships
  • Self-Discovery & Growth
  • Written Archives 2013-2018

nadirarr

If you would be able to carve/ write/ draw your id If you would be able to carve/ write/ draw your ideal life story in/ on pillars and walls, what kind of a story would it be? 

As fascinated as I am with the ruins left by the ancient Egyptians, I cannot comprehend them dedicating their entire lives to creating these “visualization boards” in stone for their “after life”, while not actually living their best life at that moment. I’d say let’s not take the risk they did. Let’s live to the fullest in every moment! And if we do happen to get a second life? We just do it again and better! Who’s with me?! 😊

Part 2 out of 5 of my Egypt travel vlog series is online now! (Link in bio). It’s worth the watch, as I take you with me to the amazing Karnak and Habu Temples and into the tombs at the Valley of the Kings! ✨
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#travelvlog #egypt #luxor #luxoregypt #karnaktemple #karnak #travellife #traveltips #travellifestyle #travellife #travellove #followmetoegypt #valleyofthekings
“Open eyes, now I see... that there is nothing t “Open eyes, now I see... that there is nothing to do, just...Be.” 

With this clarity, it feels safe to put my heart out on the line; explore and manifest my desires & dreams —despite how crazy they may seem. 

📸 Come with me to beautiful Cairo, Egypt in my new #travelvlog : 🔗@ bio❣️

Inspired by lyrics of @thisisfiamusic
.
.
#egypt #cairo #travelwithme #travelexperience #traveltips #traveladventures #travellife #travelvlogging #travellifestyle #followmetoegypt
I am so proud of where I stand today. In gratitude I am so proud of where I stand today. In gratitude and awe, I look at the woman I have become; the depth of who I am in this very moment—not even close to “perfect”, and still, damn...🤩🙌🔥

Over the past few months I went from deep suffering to observing my pain, to a dark rollercoaster of emotions, thoughts & moods, to light at the end of the tunnel...Like the phoenix rising from the ashes; the snake who sheds its skin, a glowing radiation from within...
After what seems like forever, I feel inspired, spontaneous, passionate, powerful and a deep excitement again. 

Truth be told...I’ve never been able to appreciate myself like this, regardless of how many people would admire me. I would celebrate accomplishments, yes, and recognize myself as an evolving process, but I would never be fully “enough” in my own eyes. Fixated on all I wanted to improve; the ideal vision of who I wanted to be, I’d forget to truly acknowledge myself just...as I am. 

I used to think it was good to be my own worst critic. It kept me sharp, motivated, committed to continuous growth until...I lost balance.
Can you imagine the feeling? When you realize you have been in your own way the whole time; that you are the sole person responsible for limiting yourself? 

And the (un)becoming, (un)learning, accepting and coming to terms with this and all else I discovered about myself, is not the kind of growth as described in fairytales. Letting go; changing of perspective, habitual thought processing, priorities & actions. It’s a process of mourning, sadness, guilt, forgiveness, frustration etc.—much of which I wasn’t really prepared for by life.

And yet, while turning inward, moving through deep layers, I found a piece of me, filled with so much love I never knew I had. 
Seeing myself in this new light, I also started seeing everything in life as a vehicle for transformation; how everyone and everything in every form is here as an opportunity; how I need(ed) all of it to lead me back to myself. 

I am the best version of me at this moment in time, and simultaneously, a never-ending beautiful work in progress...only from now on, I treasure myself for the work of art I am in each moment 😌✨
Diamonds may not be my best friend—I think food Diamonds may not be my best friend—I think food wins easily—but combined with Pearls (my absolute favorite) in this charming white-gold set, they come pretty close to my heart! 

Yes this is a partnership x @glamira_diamonds, so I have all reasons to say so. Yet as “every piece of jewelry tells a story”, here is mine: 

I believe buying your own diamonds as a woman (given you didn’t win the lottery or inherit a trust fund) is a mini-milestone; not to be underestimated when compared to when a (wo)man gets on their knees with 💍.

While I grew up wearing tiny diamonds since I had my ears pierced, I remember my mom telling me about when she bought herself her first diamonds. It stuck with me, I think because it’s much more than buying something sparkly & shiny of value, rather than it symbolizes freedom, (self)love, independence, abundance. 

As a famous saying goes: “Sand irritates the oyster and the oyster responds by becoming a beautiful pearl~ Allow difficulties to serve your transformation in the blossoming consciousness that you are.”

For me this set is symbolic to exactly that: blossoming consciousness; a new beginning; doing things differently, as I feel I’m not the same woman as a short while ago. 
The magic of healing I found, is that it doesn’t just repair; it refines and opens up your eyes: I found out so many things about myself I wasn’t aware of, or able to clearly articulate in the past. 

Considering a 💎 is nothing more than a carbon that handled heat & pressure exceptionally well and pearls standing for “hidden knowledge”; wearing this reminds me that all I experience(d) - sand or pressure- has its purpose, and I am free to shine just as bright as these little diamonds ✨

Morbidity aside, I also found out that after you die, some parts of your ashes can be turned into a 💎. How EPIC is that?!
I don’t know who I’ll leave a part of myself as a diamond to, but I want my story to
be one of fearlessness: The woman who elegantly took on life with a smile; despite it’s challenges, she didn’t turn bitter, but better—and left the world a little brighter- literally! 

#Glamira #GlamiraDiamonds #GlamiraJewelry
“Reculer pour mieux sauter”—despite my Frenc “Reculer pour mieux sauter”—despite my French being non-existent, this saying stuck with me: “To take a step back in order to make a jump forward”—which is how I feel...like I’m being pulled by something greater than me...to observe, listen, learn...

As I received life’s gifts, I had a choice: 
Self-sabotage: hide my emotions, continue ignoring my intuition, dive into work & everything else entertaining that would present itself—thereby repeating the pattern (aka the path of least resistance)
OR 
Put on my brave-girl panties and dive into transforming my pain into something useful🦸🏾‍♀️

While I was persuaded a few times, I’m so grateful I was able to commit to the latter.
You see...the more I started accepting life as it “is” including my own truth and that of others, I started feeling more aligned, grounded & at peace. 

I needed to let go of how “I” decided things should be; make space & trust that everything IS as it should be; as I could clearly see why everything happening was for me to be able to break a destructive cycle of letting my mind cloud my intuitive judgement & lingering in situations that weren’t for me.

Observing myself brought me so much clarity: How all my emotions are guidance to where I need to connect with myself; I learned to use the cause of my emotions to identify my psychological needs, values and redefine my boundaries (to keep out what I don’t want in the future).

While I’ve been feeling really good lately, I’m still on this journey of healing & full acceptance where I have to continuously forgive, be kind to & remind myself to trust this process of self-love, which paradoxically is more like a hell of a rollercoaster ride. It’s also the most liberating conscious transformation I’ve experienced.

As many are dealing with their own set of challenges during these crazy times, just know: You always have a choice. 

Stepping into my power has taught me that acceptance of what “is” combined with consciously facing yourself can bring you closer to who you are to the core. With this insight you can take on the world from another level ✨

I may not see the road ahead, yet I feel confidently optimistic, even excited! One step at a time.
I knew myself to be in a period of transformation, I knew myself to be in a period of transformation, but man oh mann, did I NOT expect life coming at me. 

This, even though all the signs where there from the beginning and ironically, while I experienced so much progress with regards to self-discovery & growth🤦🏽‍♀️.

I felt so intensely happy and at peace, despite(!) nothing in my life going as I planned. As if 2020 just being itself wasn’t enough, life decided to test me. “Ahhh, you think you know what you’re doing?! Well, show me what you’ve learned!”. 

Experiencing emotional turmoil, I easily fell into the “trap”, before I could see it as an opportunity to practice. 
“WHY is this happening to ME”, “Howww?”, etc. = the trap of my mind/ego victimizing myself, until I realized: Struggles, challenges, adversity, heartbreak, pain, unmet expectations, rejection, loss etc.—It’s ALL here as a gift of life. To learn, grow and evolve. 

As we are all unique, we receive tailor made gifts— to awaken us until we learn to accept them with gratitude & listen to what they teach us. 

I had my body itching every night for 2 weeks, thinking bed bugs and all the worst. The doctor couldn’t help, as there was nothing visible on my body. Psychosomatically, it was literally the inside of me screaming that I wasn’t listening, making me want to “jump out of skin”. The crazy part? As soon as I let go of what I had to, the itch was GONE. 

I’m learning now that life is NOT about being happy all the time. It’s about being true to yourself; connected to yourself. Living in alignment with your values and setting boundaries. Facing your emotions and “mistakes” instead of burying them deep. From that comes something more profound than happiness!

The more you know yourself, the more clarity there is. It “cost” me a beautiful relationship that wasn’t for me, but the pain was there to teach me to listen to me & choose me with all the love I have for myself. 

Life will continue to throw us exactly what we need to force us to turn inward;
“Shit” happens to the best (all) of us and there is so much value in the growing pains! Instead of blaming life, making yourself the victim, embrace your tailor made gifts from the Universe & LISTEN🙏✨
Whenever I say “If only...” in a conversation Whenever I say “If only...” in a conversation with my dad, he replies, “If only I were a King, my dear, then you would be...” and then I fill in “a princess!” and we laugh together.

Despite being cared for like a princess by my loved ones all my life, I have always been aware of the value of money, hard & smart work, perseverance and dedication.

My spiritual awakening-process couldn’t have crushed my self-image more, of both “Princess” and a “hard/smart-working, young female Entrepreneur” as I would proudly believe & present myself to be. 

I’ve got to experience how nothing is more freeing than letting go of these identifications with self (including the entitlement that comes with them).

You see, we “think” a whole lot of ourselves, which comes with an equal lot of expectations and demands. 
When life deals us a difficult hand, we tend to focus on the “If only...we had better cards...” or the “this shouldn’t be happening to me...”, which makes us blind to all the opportunity and blessings we have at that moment. 

“If only I had a better body”, “If only I lived by the beach”, “If only I make 6 figures...”, “If only I am..., If only I have...etc. THEN, I will be so happy, satisfied, fulfilled...”
And in the mean time? You’ll be stressed, frustrated, miserable? 
How often has your mind tricked you into the above? 

I’ve been there, lost in the identification with being an entrepreneur: #hustlehard, #nopainnogain, #neverevergiveup -all the clichés. And while there is nothing wrong with having goals and working your 🍑 off towards them, there is one thing many, including myself in the past, seem to forget: To genuinely be happy in the process. 

We are so lost in anticipating the future, that we don’t even realize that at this very moment, the future is nothing but a fragment of our mind, a thought, a fantasy, a dream. There’s no single guarantee nor is there anything we can hold onto. So...How is it that we base our everyday moods and entire happiness on just wishful thoughts? Why would we choose to remain royal prisoners in our future Kingdoms? 🤷🏽‍♀️

“..🎶 Is this the real life? Is this the fantasy? Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality🎵”-Queen.
Even though it looks like Stephen King and Quentin Even though it looks like Stephen King and Quentin Tarantino have co-directed 2020 so far, I’ve never felt more at peace. •

Despite of all my best efforts and intentions, nothing I have been investing my time and energy in has turned out to be as planned or expected. Yet, I have never felt more content. •

I made the classic mistake of thinking that my accomplishments would bring me happiness, so I invested all my time in work, from one business to the other; one ✈️trip to the next. Despite my life being filled, planned to the max with things that many dream of, I didn’t feel half as good as I do now just being here on the sofa. •

I can imagine you thinking: “Does she live in a bubble?”. “How can she, when there is so much loss, pain, inequality, injustice?” •

Well, I’m sure that if we would collectively live my latest, and one of my most valuable life discoveries, we wouldn’t find ourselves in a world as f*cked now. 
Early March in Curaçao I had an epiphany. I was confronted with how long I had been operating in autopilot; how I deafened myself to my inner voice, leading me to trust those I couldn’t and lose myself on a journey not for me. 
An existential crisis, where nothing meant anything anymore. I was stressed, overworked, unaligned, uninspired, not creative, disconnected, always (over)reacting, no pleasure to my environment. “Too busy” for everyone; I wasn’t the loving, compassionate person I can be, nor did I feel capable of a serious relationship. 
Not only did I need time to rest & breathe (soo thankful for the lockdown), but I needed to experience this “crisis” as a mirror to finally be able to see…

How all of my suffering came from my own Mind: The stories I tell myself, the meaning  and weight I give to achievements, relationships & emotions; my highly held perceptions of life and my expectations of myself in the 🌎. From this “helicopter view”, a sense of deep, liberating peace came to me and never left.

I understand now: Nothing that happens; nothing I or anyone else ever did / will do, can touch even the slightest radiance of essence I am, for I am what’s beyond my mind and its creations. I am...and nothing else matters nor is required🙏✨
And to those bored in “quarantine”? 🤦🏽‍♀️ Please consider that while you feel idle, others are working overtime; risking theirs to save lives and to keep us safe and provided for in our homes 🙏

But seriously tho! We live in a digital age with videocalls & online courses / DIY’s on everything! Personally, my to-do & learn lists are endless! Soo many books to read; vlogs to edit; languages to learn, organizing & cleaning to do, recipes to try, writings, home workouts, meditation and I still want to learn the moon-walk!🤩 —-This moment is defining in our history & lifetime. What we learn & do now will be leading us in the future. So why not embrace the slow-down? Reflect on how privileged we have been to live in luxury, abundance & freedom. How much we’ve taken that for granted. How everything is temporary. How easily it can be taken away. How we’re really just a bunch of inflated Ego’s that make up an arrogant, fragile species. ——Take this time to re-evaluate your relationships and commitments. Create new, healthy habits. Invest in learning & growth. 
In this period of existential stress, look deep inside to love and heal. If you’re anything like me, there’s a lot of wounds/acceptance you’d want to work on, for yourself, and to be more of value to your surroundings. —-But also, prepare! A global recession is here. We all hope for fast stabilization, but financial stress is affecting us all already and it will get worse before it gets better. Millions of unemployed. Poverty on a mass scale. Survival of the fittest. 
This is the sad reality and we together are responsible for the severity. —-So use this precious time, not for fear & panic, but for anticipating positive, creative solutions & opportunities. Revise your Vision. Strategize your actions to recover/ rebuild. What are you going to change; do different/better?

Start now with little things like donations or supporting small local businesses (vs retail giants). —-Lastly, put things in perspective: If you and your loved ones are healthy & safe, you are beyond blessed. Many have it much, much worse. Enjoy the (digital) quality time with them. Care for & love each other. Ultimately, that’s all that counts ❤️🙏
Follow on Instagram
To The Nines

Perfection is dull, yet I do believe in maximisation; getting and making the most out of every experience. ”To The Nines” means ”To perfection…” or ”to the highest degree”, which is the level I always strive for with everything I do.
 
As I keep on exploring & discovering with-in and -out myself, I write from experience straight out of my heart & soul: raw, open, honest, real…
 
I hope you find something here, even if it’s one sentence or tip that you will carry with you ♥
 
Nadira

Every New Post In your Inbox!

ON THE MENU
  • Home
  • About
  • Contact

© Copyright 2020 Nadira R. Ramautarsing