I Had No Choice…
…but to boss up and take control.
The other day I was watching one of my favorite tv shows Suits. Apart from the tremendously sexy Harvey Specter, I learn a lot about life from this show, which is why I would recommend everyone watching it.
In one of the episodes from some seasons back, Harvey asked Mike: ”What are your choices when someone puts a gun to your head?”. Mike answered: ”You do what they say or they shoot you?”, where Harvey replied: ”Wrong. You take the gun. Or pull out a bigger one. Or, you call their bluff. Or, you do any one of a hundred and forty six other things. If you can’t think for yourself, maybe you’re not cut out for this”.
If you take this dialogue and apply it to life in general, there is so much you can learn. We’ve all been in situations where we feel like we have no choice. Like we have a gun to our head and no other options. Truth is, we always have a choice. We have so much power, if you consider that by even only choosing to look at the glass half full instead of empty, it changes the situation (the power of choosing to think differently, already changes perspective). But also, there is always a way to make happen what you want to happen, even if it’s a long path.
I’m not ready to tell you guys what I’ve been dealing with, but I’ve been fighting my own battles. One of the things I’ve encountered is that wherever life takes you, know that you are so much stronger than you think. You have the ability to, in ANY situation, choose to boss up, to choose to keep fighting, to find ways to make happen whatever it is you want to make happen. There is always a way, so think outside the box and don’t let any ”gun” intimidate you into a corner where you’re convinced there are no other options or into doing something you don’t want to.
Love,
Nadira
Wearing: Dress & Bag from SheIn. Photo diary including all direct shopping links below:
Shop my look: (Click on pictures to go to shop)
Photography by: Jesse Verboog.
- Published in Self-Discovery & Growth, Written Archives 2013-2018
Sorry, Not Sorry
Have you ever noticed how frequently you use the word sorry? I might secretly be a bit of a perfectionist but do I therefore need to apologize for every little messy detail in my life? I think it’s surely a point to reconsider and to question yourself, ‘am I proclaiming to be an alter ego of how people want to see me?’. Social pressures are taking the lead when it comes to people’s needlessness feeling like they need to apologize for their triumphs.
It’s like we feel obligated to say sorry because we feel like we have to. Out of politeness, respect to others and so on. We should never have to apologize for being normal human beings. Here are 5 things you should no longer apologize for:
1. Being Successful
We tend me be humble when it comes to this matter but I think we can all relate to our ambition, commitment and overwork hours at work. Being successful can intimidate others but hey, believe me when I say that it’s a fabulous thing and no need to say sorry to please anyone or for the benefit of the insecure people around you.
2. Showing our emotions.
It sounds legit yet many of us apologize for how we feel or what we think. However, we should embrace that we have the power to show how we feel and wear our hearts on our sleeves. Never apologize for being vulnerable and telling people what your heart is actually feeling.
3. Our pasts.
Things have happened and mistakes have been made but it doesn’t mean that they define us. All too often, we find ourselves apologizing for the past. It has actually helped us becoming who we are today, we fell – we came back stronger and yes, with a deeper understanding of life – the scars have taught us what we exactly want.
4. Being authentic.
Society has us where it wants us. Media exposures holds an image of how the ‘perfect’ woman (or man) should be – it’s like the unwritten standard we all think we should persist. Truth is, life is too complicated to not be yourself, you need to express yourself and embrace your uniqueness – it is your quality and definitely not something you should apologize for.
5. Always putting ourselves first.
As cliché as it may sound, love starts with yourself – it’s the most important and long-lasting relationship you will ever have. The moment you choose to put someone else before you is the moment you are putting yourself second. Follow your ambitions and love your friends and family, the rest will follow but never apologize for making your own decisions.
Sorry, not sorry…
Love,
Nadira
Keep scrolling! Photo diary continues below including all outfit details. If you click on the product pictures below, you can shop the outfit immediately. Dress & Bag: SheIn. Sandals: Missguided.
Wearing:
- Published in Self-Discovery & Growth, Written Archives 2013-2018
Manipulate Your Own Mind
Starting From Small, It Becomes Big – The trick to manipulate your own mind.
One thing I’ve learned up to this point in life is that the mind has a memory. And it’s damn smart; it “subconsciously” recognizes patterns. Once the patterns become a habit, it’s hard to stop. It requires extra mental strength to break the habit. This is why it’s so difficult to stop doing something that you are used to doing, like smoking or becoming a morning person. At the same time, it offers the opportunity to create better habits for life, given that you are aware of this and have the mental power to pursue an activity long enough for your mind to make it a recognizable pattern.
“Starting from small, it becomes big.”
Starting with white lies, repeatedly, you become a compulsive liar.
Starting with shoplifting a candy bar, repeatedly, you become a thief.
At the same time…
Starting with exercising at least 3 times a week, repeatedly, you become fit.
Starting with eating healthy everyday, repeatedly, you become well and healthy.
Starting with walking with your back straight, repeatedly, you have an elegant posture.
Starting with smiling and being positive, you become a happy person to be around inside and out and attract people with the same energy to you.
Starting with giving unused clothes and loose change to the homeless, repeatedly, you become empathetic and giving.
Starting with sharing things with others, repeatedly, you become generous.
Starting with only doing things that align with your core values, repeatedly, you are a person of meaningful values.
Starting with reading, repeatedly, you become addicted to learning.
Starting with making sure you get what you need done for the day, repeatedly, you are always on top of everything.
Starting with being focused, each task at a time, repeatedly, you can easily get into the flow and be productive.
Starting with thinking outside the box, repeatedly, you become extremely creative.
Starting with getting out of your comfort zone, repeatedly, you become confident and fearless.
And so on…
Conclusion:
Starting with telling yourself what you want to achieve in life, repeatedly, you will get there.
Starting with just getting it started, repeatedly, anything you want to be and do, you can be and do.
So instead of thinking ‘’It’s too hard to stop or change’’ or ‘’I don’t know where to start’’, just start, and go step by step, day by day. Self-Mastery comes with consistency or as the great Aristotle once said ‘’We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.’’
Love,
Nadira
P.S. Pictures taken on a lovely day out in Haarlem, the Netherlands. Such a lovely city.
Outfit details: Sweater: H&M, Pants: Missguided, Heels: Mango, Sunglasses: ZeroUv, Lips: Dolce K by Kyliecosmetics.
You’re More Successful Than You Think: 15 Signs
For the past few days I’ve been reflecting on the concept of success, and from personal experience, especially when you hold high standards for yourself (like I do), it can sometimes feel like you’re a bit of a failure. Usually we tend to focus on the big picture, which takes (loads of) time to achieve, and we forget the ‘’little things’’ that make us grow better. Under the veil of ‘’The only time you should look back, is to see how far you’ve come’’, and ”It’s not about the destination, but the journey”, I’ve come up with 15 signs of success that we tend to forget to recognize in the process of getting where we want to be.
- You have raised your standards.
You don’t tolerate certain negative behavior anymore, from others, but also from yourself. You believe in accountability and taking responsibility for actions. You spend your time wisely with only those who add value, instead of those who steal your energy and fill your life with pointless drama.
- You are aware that failure and setbacks are part of life and growth.
Nobody has success 100% of the time, life is not a Disney story ( and even Disney stories depict setbacks!).
Life is about victories and losses (ying & yang). Every setback can be a stepping stone to something better, if you choose to look at and handle it that way. But really there is no such thing as a setback. It’s all just part a fun rollercoaster journey.
- You accept what you can’t change.
Our power only reaches to a certain degree in many cases, especially when you are dependent on external factors. If you can’t change it, change the way you look at it. If you can change your negative perspective on situations to a positive one, then you are successful.
- You change what you can.
On the same note, there are many things we do have control over. Successful people don’t sit around accepting the negatives that are changeable. They get out there and do something about it!
5. You let go of things that don’t make you feel good.
Self-love is success. Love yourself enough to say ‘no’ to anything that doesn’t make you happy, doesn’t serve your purpose, or drags you down. It’s not narcissistic or egoistic, because if you don’t choose you, no one will.
- You have learned to appreciate who you see in the mirror.
Love yourself. You are awesome.
- You know ‘’your people’’ who would do anything for you.
You know exactly who really has your back and who only pretends that they do. It’s a painful realization and process, but once you learn to see the signs, you can stay away from those people.
- You’re grateful
Because you know you’re blessed. Even though life is not perfect, there is always plenty to be thankful for.
- You applaud for others’ successes.
You know what it takes to create success, and you admire others for reaching it. When others succeed, it doesn’t mean you fail. You applaud the people who rise to the top. The more positive energy you give to other people’s victories, the more you will create your own.
- You have passions & goals that you pursue.
You have unique gifts and talents. You know you have something wonderful to contribute to the world. Not only do you know it, you pursue it. It’s this excitement of something to look forward to, that drives you.
- You refuse to be a victim.
You know that life doesn’t always happen to you. Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. No matter what happens, rise up and conquer anyway.
- You don’t care what other people think.
You can’t please everyone, and you know it. You know that the standards with which society judges people is unrealistic. So you just keep true to yourself and love the person you are.
- You love deeply and open yourself up to be loved by others.
Love is risky, and sometimes scary, because there is always the risk of rejection or getting hurt. If you open your heart enough to love and be loved, then you are successful.
- You always look on the bright side.
It’s all about the perspective you choose. Life can be full of disappointments –Or, learning opportunities. No negative experience is ever wasted as long as you learn from it.
- You are happy.
To me, pure happiness with what is, is the ultimate definition of success. It doesn’t matter what the balance is in your bank account, how big your house is, or how many fancy vacations you take. If you are happy, then you are successful in life.
I hope you can recognize a lot of these signs and that this will give you a little motivation boost to keep at it. Don’t worry if you find yourself not at the above mentioned points yet, because it’s always a process, take your time, just keep moving forward.
Keep growing and learning!
Lots of love,
Nadira
Outfitdetails: Straight Outta Gym Tshirt by Wulterkens. Blazer & Boots from Zara, Hat from Missguided, Skirt from Nasty Gal.
P.S. There is a big giveaway coming up soon. To prevent missing out, sign up on the blog, you will automatically receive an email when the giveaway is available.
The Unfair & The Precious
The past 2 weeks have been like a crazy, emotional rollercoaster. From celebrating that selected items of the Wulterkens Fitness Collection are available at Intersport DUO, to mourning the loss of a very close friend, almost family of ours.
It makes me realize that I am more alive than ever, so deeply experiencing these highs and lows. More so it makes me appreciate life more than ever. Like a slap in the face, the realization that it all can be over, just like that, and you have no control whatsoever. It doesn’t matter who we are, what we do, how many followers we have on Instagram and how much money in our bank account. Scary isn’t it?
The Priest in the church at the farewell ceremony said it beautifully: ‘’The only thing we are guaranteed from the first moment we breathe in life, is Death’’.
It’s exactly a week ago, June 2nd, since I turned 26; needless to say it wasn’t much of a celebration. The day itself flew by really fast, because I had my Digital Marketing exam (part of my part-time Master’s program at the University), and of course, due to everything (emotions, loads of work), I still had a lot of last minute studying to do.
I did however, take that night, and the days after, as days of reflection. Reflecting on life, which suddenly seemed more precious than normal. I was overwhelmed by all the sweet birthday wishes from family, friends, (business) acquaintances and even strangers. I am extremely grateful for all the love and everything in this life.
I took a step back and realized that, I’m not where I want to be in life yet, though I know I am on the right path towards this, and I am getting closer every day, step by step.
However, if somehow, it is decided that my time on this earth is over, I will be more than satisfied looking back on life. Of course, there is still so much I would want to have accomplished, and yes, I would have wanted to see more of this beautiful world. But I’ve been privileged, in so many ways. Maybe you guys think it’s creepy that I think this way, and believe me, I have absolutely no intention of leaving anytime soon, but I do think that it’s important to reflect on things, because it does effect the way you move forward in life.
We, as a society are automatically pressured into always wanting and needing more. More money, more cars, bigger boats, more convenience, more luxury. And in the end, we’ve spent all our precious time chasing all this, and when we’re gone, well, we don’t take any of it with us (as far as I know).
It’s never going to be enough anyway, everytime you’ve reached a milestone, it’s likely you’re already busy with achieving another one, because we’re always growing and wanting more.
So for myself, I’ve decided that I want to hold on to this ‘’freedom’’. Being able to be satisfied with the little things, the amazingly loving people around me, every sunset and sunrise, being alive, and healthy. And the rest…is extra!
Don’t get me wrong, I will still be working hard to achieve my goals, but I will give myself more of a break once in a while. There will always be more important things, because we set such high expectations for ourselves (atleast, I do). However, let’s say it would be your last day on this earth. My bet is that suddenly, the things that we are always so busy with, and are so important, aren’t even close to important anymore. You have to ask yourself, what would be important on that day? And I think that whatever that is, should be the focus moving forward.
The sudden and unfair loss of someone so young, full of life and love, just puts these things into perspective.
Life is unbelievably precious, spend it wisely!
Love,
Nadira
We went to the beautiful city centre of Utrecht and discovered some gorgeous, rare spots, most would not guess to be Utrecht, in the Netherlands. I’ve been wanting to do an ‘’All White Everything’’-look for some time now. I was wearing my sneakers for convenience and the plan was to finally do a shoot with my beautiful Giuseppe Zanotti X Kanye West ‘’Cruel Summer’’ Heels, I got some time ago (2013) and are more like a trophy in my closet. They are gorgeous, but not very comfortable to walk in, especially not in the city centre of Utrecht haha. So it turned into two different looks, sporty and chique. Which one is your favorite?
Outfitdetails: Dress: ASOS, Sandals: Giuseppe Zanotti X Kanye West: Cruel Summer, Sneakers: Nike, Necklace: Swarovski, Metallic Tattoos: Chique Tattoos; get 10% off with code NADIRA on www.chiquetattoos.nl
”And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years” – Abraham Lincoln
”At the end of the day, let there be no excuses, no explanations, no regrets” – Steve Maraboli
- Published in Self-Discovery & Growth, Written Archives 2013-2018