RECULER POUR MIEUX SAUTER
Despite my French being non-existent, the saying “Reculer pour mieux sauter” stuck with me. It means: “To take a step back in order to make a jump forward”—which is how I feel…like I’m being pulled by something greater than me…to observe, listen, learn…
As I received life’s gifts, I had a choice:
Self-sabotage: hide my emotions, continue ignoring my intuition, dive into work & everything else entertaining that would present itself—thereby repeating the pattern (aka the path of least resistance)
OR
Put on my brave-girl panties and dive into transforming my pain into something useful🦸🏾♀️
While I was persuaded a few times, I’m so grateful I was able to commit to the latter.
You see…the more I started accepting life as it “is” including my own truth and that of others, I started feeling more aligned, grounded & at peace.
I needed to let go of how “I” decided things should be; make space & trust that everything IS as it should be; as I could clearly see why everything happening was for me to be able to break a destructive cycle of letting my mind cloud my intuitive judgement & lingering in situations that weren’t for me.
Observing myself brought me so much clarity: How all my emotions are guidance to where I need to connect with myself; I learned to use the cause of my emotions to identify my psychological needs, values and redefine my boundaries (to keep out what I don’t want in the future).
While I’ve been feeling really good lately, I’m still on this journey of healing & full acceptance where I have to continuously forgive,
be kind to & remind myself to trust this process of self-love, which paradoxically is more like a hell of a rollercoaster ride.
It’s also the most liberating conscious transformation I’ve experienced.
As many are dealing with their own set of challenges during these crazy times, just know: You always have a choice.
Stepping into my power has taught me that acceptance of what “is” combined with consciously facing yourself can bring you closer
to who you are to the core. With this insight you can take on the world from another level ✨
I may not see the road ahead, yet I feel confidently optimistic, even excited! Taking one step at a time…
Location: Paris, France
- Published in Love & Relationships, Self-Discovery & Growth
”HERE’S MY GIFT TO YOU” SAID LIFE
I knew myself to be in a period of transformation, but man oh mann, did I NOT expect life coming at me.
This, even though all the signs where there from the beginning and ironically, while I experienced so much progress with regards to self-discovery & growth🤦🏽♀️.
I felt so intensely happy and at peace, despite(!) nothing in my life going as I planned. As if 2020 just being itself wasn’t enough, life decided to test me. “Ahhh, you think you know what you’re doing?! Well, show me what you’ve learned!”.
Experiencing emotional turmoil, I easily fell into the “trap”, before I could see it as an opportunity to practice.
“WHY is this happening to ME”, “Howww?”, etc. = the trap of my mind/ego victimizing myself, until I realized: Struggles, challenges, adversity, heartbreak, pain, unmet expectations, rejection, loss etc.—It’s ALL here as a gift of life. To learn, grow and evolve.
As we are all unique, we receive tailor made gifts— to awaken us until we learn to accept them with gratitude & listen to what they teach us.
I had my body itching every night for 2 weeks, thinking bed bugs and all the worst. The doctor couldn’t help, as there was nothing visible on my body. Psychosomatically, it was literally the inside of me screaming that I wasn’t listening, making me want to “jump out of skin”. The crazy part? As soon as I let go of what I had to, the itch was GONE.
I’m learning now that life is NOT about being happy all the time. It’s about being true to yourself; connected to yourself. Living in alignment with your values and setting boundaries. Facing your emotions and “mistakes” instead of burying them deep. From that comes something more profound than happiness!
The more you know yourself, the more clarity there is. It “cost” me a beautiful relationship that wasn’t for me, but the pain was there to teach me to listen to me & choose me with all the love I have for myself.
Life will continue to throw us exactly what we need to force us to turn inward;
“Shit” happens to the best (all) of us and there is so much value in the growing pains! Instead of blaming life, making yourself the victim, embrace your tailor made gifts from the Universe & LISTEN🙏✨
Location: Venice, Italy
- Published in Love & Relationships, Self-Discovery & Growth
So Special?
”You are unique. Just like everyone else”.
We all like to believe that we are so special. But are we really?
We all want to be seen, recognised for who we are, acknowledged, appreciated, loved, celebrated. We love to be chosen, whether it is getting picked out of the group to play sports in a team or your crush choosing you over all the other boys or girls in school.
We all want to be liked, making for popular hashtags such as #like #like4like #follow4follow, as we also want to be followed, because we want to show as many people as possible how special (and awesome) we are and our life is.
But at the same time…in today’s day and age…Swipe right, Swipe left…For you, there are 10 others. With over 700 million active monthly users on Instagram, chances are it’s even more than 10 ;-). Aren’t we all replaceable? What makes you so special really?
I know what you’re thinking…life isn’t Tinder (or Grinder or any of the other mating app’s out there)…and of course, not everyone is exactly like you, but there are enough with the same interests, ideals; similar talents, ways and even looks. The same sense of humor, way of talking, walking, fears, dreams, taste in music, fashion, art etc, etc. Is there anything exceptionally unique these days anyway?
Also, did you know you’re actually programmed to think you’re special? It’s called Pseudo-exceptionalism—the unearned conviction that we are exceptional, superior to others because we were born…us.
Consider this, and a simple (maybe a little too simple, but I can see logic behind it), formula by Tim Urban: Happiness = Reality – Expectations.
Most millennials have been raised by constantly being told they are ”special”. I mean, even the losing kids in contests get prizes and trophies these days, right? We receive rewards even without having to actually do something exceptionally better than others, simply because we are our special us and we showed up. Yet we are programmed to constantly compete from a young age, in sports, in beauty competitions, in business and so on…
Given the world we live in, and the fact that life in general isn’t really that easy…I think the harsh reality of life is catching up to many of us…With the automatic conviction that we are entitled to a great life, we end up very unhappy, because we expect things to come a lot easier in life.
A successful life, whether it’s a career or marriage , requires hard work, blood, sweat, tears and not just ”being special” or being entitled to, simply because we believe we are. ”If he/she can have it, so can I”… which could be true, but honestly, you will have to do something for it. Whatever it is you seek, won’t fall from the sky.
We look at the ”perfect”(ly staged) lives of others on Facebook and think the grass is greener, but tend forget that nobody posts about the struggles, the pain, the frustrations. We are programmed to always want (and aim for) the nicer car or the bigger house, without even thinking through whether it would really make us happy or give us actual meaning in life. Thus leading to unhappiness.
All of this made me think….maybe we should (try to) let go of the notion that we are so special? What’s so bad about accepting that we are all replaceable? No matter how talented, skilled, smart, beautiful…there will always be someone, somewhere…just as good (or maybe even better/more beautiful, talented etc.).
But really what’s so bad about that?
No one will ever be you in the completeness of you as a human being. But that will not bring you anything in life on it’s own.
Life is too short to worry about being special. It’s already complicated enough. Just ride the hell out of the rollercoaster, work hard for what you want, make the best of it, enjoy it, and maybe try to leave the world a little bit better than it was before. To me there is enough special in that :-).
”A flower doesn’t think of competing to the flower next to it. It just blooms”.
Love,
Nadira
P.S. I’m sure you’re really special in the eyes of at least one person in this world. Maybe that’s a bit of a consolation :-).
- Published in Self-Discovery & Growth, Written Archives 2013-2018
5 Realisations That Make Life Easier
All change is not growth, as all movement is not forward.
I talk a lot about change in my previous posts: The Unknown, Change, You Have To Do The Hard Things, Nothing Changes Until You Do and more…
But in this post, I want to emphasise Growth. It’s part of our natural process, but I found that consciously acknowledging and reflecting back on growth, brings a lot of valuable insights and wisdom saving you a lot when dealing with life in the future.
As you are (consciously) shifting, you will begin to realise that you are not the same person you used to be. The things you used to tolerate have become intolerable. When you once remained quiet, you are now speaking your truth. Where you once battled and argued, you are now choosing to remain silent. You are beginning to understand the value of your voice and there are some situations that no longer deserve your time, energy, and focus.
Some things I’ve learned through evaluating my own growth:
-
There is only one really good life…that’s the life you know you want….and you make it yourself…
Though it’s never really one vision, and it’s subject to change as our needs change through different phases of our live. A simple and funny example of this is looking back at our 7-year old self who (probably) didn’t want to eat vegetables and didn’t like an early bed-time; whereas for me 20 years later – I crave healthy food (and miss my mom preparing it for me), and I have a very exclusive love relationship with my bed, which my partner is very envious of 😀 . The same principle goes for everything. What used to be your vision of life, doesn’t have to be the same over time, but regardless of this vision changing, you’re still the pilot on your own flight. -
In any given moment we have two options: To step forward into growth or to step back into safety.
The first often scary and uncomfortable, but always with great rewards (exciting next-level changes and opportunities); the latter being easy but non-satisfying, as there’s always that little voice inside that will keep nagging you for not taking that step forward, since you are clearly not happy where you’re standing. Also, there will always be the question ”what if..?”. Realising this saves you a lot of time when pondering on whether or not to take certain steps in the future. -
You start dying slowly when you become a slave to your habits, walking everyday on the same paths, if you do not change your routine. Especially when you are not satisfied with your love-life, your job or surroundings and you choose not to change your life.
I know so many people, who choose to be a victim of their surroundings, and they are so unhappy, all the while there is a lot they can change. Even if it’s just step by step starting with ”100 little, easy to change, but make all the difference” things. -
You become a master of your life when you learn how to control where your attention goes. Value what you give your time and energy to.
Choose your battles. As easy as it is to give in to so many triggers around us, stop and ask yourself ”what will pursuing this bring me?”. It’s a simple principle. Everything you give time and energy to grows, so you decide by directing your attention what your life looks like. Knowing this…and applying it everyday, is power. -
You are under no obligation to be the same person you were a year, a month or even 15 minutes ago. You have to right to grow. No apologies.
We are products of our pasts, but that doesn’t mean we have to be prisoners of it. Don’t let anything limit you into changing your thinking, attitude or anything else that you know and feel will bring you to a better place in life.
And don’t forget this…
” You are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work-in-progress at the same time”.
I’ve said this before, but I emphasise it again…One doesn’t exclude the other as we never stop being a work-in-progress until our passing. So love yourself and all that you are in every phase. Embrace even the broken and ugly pieces, as they are triggers for you to actually take those steps to a better you and a better life. Besides; perfection is overrated, your flaws make you a masterpiece and your tragedies make your story one worth telling.
Love,
Nadira
I love this picture below, as it describes me perfectly stumbling and balancing my way through the whirlwind called Life. Outfit details: ”Red Rose”. Photography: Fons de Keijzer
- Published in Self-Discovery & Growth, Written Archives 2013-2018
Why I Don’t Care Anymore
The past few weeks I’ve been feeling rebellious…with regards to pretty much everything. I’ve been doing a lot of processing and soul-searching and I find myself changing, or maybe it’s part of the natural growth/ maturing process, I have no idea….but I feel like I’ve really toughened up.
I used to be so sensitive to other people’s perception of me. I’ve always been a people pleaser and I’ve had the hardest time saying no to people. In the past few years I’ve been working on this, but I feel like I’ve made a lot of progress in the past few weeks, because…I honestly don’t care anymore.
I am SO tired that no matter what you do, the world we live in will judge you based on their own feelings, and not based on you (or your actions). That’s the funny part. You can be a saint, and still they will have to say something negative about you…simply because they don’t feel good about themselves….That’s human nature, and it’s not going to change….(although I do hope to open up some minds with this post)….So why bother ”behaving” to hopefully be judged positively by others?
”Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you’ll be criticised anyway. You’ll be damned if you do and damned if you don’t”.
I’ve found out the hard way recently that people are not loyal to you. No matter how good you are to them, and no matter how much you try to please them. They are loyal to their need of you. As soon as their needs change, so does their loyalty. (Please note: This is not a generalisation, and might not apply to parents/close family).
We are all hypocritical and opportunistic, yes I say we, because if I am honest, I can identify this behaviour from myself too. Although I’m usually at the other end, getting hurt and disappointed. Yet, I am trying to train myself not to be (not to expect anything from anyone), because it’s in our nature for our needs to change. All change, and thus also change of needs, is an essential part of life.
Two things happened in the past few weeks that made me think….As I’ve said, I’ve been feeling a bit rebellious…
First story:
It was a rainy Saturday afternoon, and I decided to share a picture revealing a little bit of skin on Instagram, well aware that it was sexy, not aware that it would confuse, upset and excite so many people (both men and women). The problem was clearly one of expectation. I am very well aware of the persona I have shaped of myself to the outside world. So…when people expect me to be an intelligent, responsible, role-model business woman and I pull a Kim Kardashian….well I can understand the confusion, a little bit…But here’s the thing…people are hypocrites, in a world who idolises a woman who makes a sextape, turns her into a billionaire (I hate to say it, but yes she’s a business woman as well), and at the same time shuns other women for sharing a little bit of skin….well F* you….
You assume that you know why I would post something like this…you probably think it’s about wanting attention or validation…But it was simply to make a statement. It’s about boldness and confidence and not caring what people might think. It’s about not pleasing people into their perception of you. It’s about feeling confident in your own skin, which is so difficult because of the most unrealistic beauty standards. It’s about being ok with expressing some sensuality, because we don’t live in the ages where women should be shunned for their natural desires anymore. Coming from someone like me, it’s an eye-opener. And although many misunderstood it, it did work.
I’m aware I have a certain charisma of elegance and innocence…But I am an adult woman and a sensual/sexual being. I will not comply to the b.s. so called ”standards” and ”rules” society puts up for us as to how we should behave, as they make everyone confused and unhappy and I refuse be a victim of it.
Some ignorant, narrow-minded people might have a different perception of me, maybe take me less seriously as a business woman…But thinking that expressing some sensuality makes me less intelligent and competent in what I do…well that’s just them trying to validate their own self. My actions speak louder than anything…In this case, the quality of my work and my success…so it’s up to everyone to think what they want to think, as they will anyway. In any case, I won’t be losing any sleep over it, none are paying my bills.
”Very sexy, but undeniably elegant and competent. Yes, some of us have mastered the art of being all of it at the same time”.
Story number two:
When I got a present from a friend the other day, which looked like a chocolate cake, but had a little special ingredient in it…let’s call it a medicinal plant (which it is 😉 )…I decided that for the first time in my 27 years on this earth, I would allow myself to experience ”soft drugs”. It never attracted me before, I’ve actually always been a good girl, first because as a people-pleaser, I wanted to please my parents, but later because I simply didn’t feel like trying it.
It was a Sunday night, or actually already past midnight (Monday morning), and I figured you know what…YOLO…I was at home with my partner and he was actually enjoying my rebelliousness, and wanted to film it. So he filmed me eating the cake, and the plan was to film me an hour after, but we both just fell asleep. For me it was a cool experience, which I felt like sharing, as I share so much of my life on social media, so I decided to share 30 seconds of the film in my instagram stories. Half an hour later, I decided to take down the story…. My thoughts behind it were the awareness of my role-model position, and ”what if my young nieces and nephews see this, I don’t want to set a bad example”. The next day, I was soo drowsy/dizzy, I slept all day and skipped work, so I guess we can confirm it’s not my kinda thing haha…
But apart from the drowsiness, when I woke up…I actually regretted taking down the video…Because when I thought about it, I didn’t (and still don’t) care anymore about what people think. I’m 27 years old, safe at home with my partner…If that’s not the best example for all my nieces and nephews of the right timing and circumstances to experience something that everyone undoubtedly comes across in their lifetime at some point…then I honestly don’t know…
I am human, I am alive, experiencing, growing, finding myself and yes I share a lot of it…let me…without you thinking you have to opinionize it. Maybe see if your life is so perfect 😉 . Remember:
”When you point a finger at someone, there is always 3 fingers pointing back at you”.
Now I am very well aware that saying this won’t change much, because our brains are wired to judge, mostly for safety reasons (I still remember a few things from my neuro-economics minor). But I still want to have said it…with a little bit of hope you’ll be giving this a good thought.
”I know where I’m going and I know the truth, and I don’t have to be what you want me to be. I’m free to be what I want” – Muhammad Ali.
Love,
Nadira
Photography: Fons de Keijzer
Outfit-details: Asymmetric Edginess & Sweet as a Peach
P.S. Just for the ones incapable of understanding…I am NOT saying, go and do drugs and post sexy pictures (or any other somewhat rebellious act) and don’t care about what people think….I’m saying…Do whatever you think you should do, but make sure you ALWAYS think it through. Know why you’re doing it, list the risks (vs gains) and the consequences for yourself, and then if you still feel you have to do it…DO IT…and then don’t care about what people think ;-). Just please don’t ever limit yourself due to fear of not complying to society’s hypocritical standards.
- Published in Self-Discovery & Growth, Written Archives 2013-2018
New Beginnings & Perfect Endings
That moment…when you just got off the rollercoaster ride…pumped with adrenaline, slightly nauseous, overwhelmed, kinda tired, but you are ready to go for another ride!
Most of you who follow me on my social media know that on December 1st, I opened my very first physical store: The Wulterkens Customized Wear Store in the Gooische Brink Passage, Hilversum!
Needless to say the past few months have been unbelievably hectic and crazy. We received the keys to the store on November 7th, and we had our grand opening on December 1st, so in 24 days, we built up the entire store. Let’s just say…the next time someone says they are ”busy”, because they have a few things going on, I’m willing to give them the ”batman meme” slap.
I’ve managed to get things done that I never thought I could. Tackling one challenge at a time, constant problem solving, a lot of sweat, some tears as well…In those 3 weeks, I’ve learned so much, I feel like a completely different person and it was all so worth it. I will get into some lessons learned (there have been a lot) in future posts.
2016 has taken a completely unexpected turn for us, amazing opportunities came onto our path, which we literally grabbed with both hands and along with the help of so many loving friends and beautiful souls around us, we couldn’t be more grateful. For an impression, you can find the after movie of the grand opening of the Wulterkens Store below.
We’ve also moved to a great apartment in Hilversum, so we’re settling into our new home. In retrospect, 2016, was an amazing year. We’ve taken our businesses Wulterkens and Customized Wear to a whole other level, bringing them together to the consumer in the Wulterkens Store. We’ve launched a new t-shirt brand King Of Rebels. I can finally call myself Nadira Ramautarsing, MSc. Marketing! Looking back to my first post this year, Raise Your Standards, I’ve accomplished most of my goals. I am fit, healthy, taking things to the next level, focussing, prioritising, back on track. Yes! Madame Selfmade has been put on hold for a little while, because while I am superwoman, there are some limits to my powers, such as the 24 hours I only have a day, but stay tuned! Mastering the moonwalk is something I will pick up in 2017 as well ;-).
There is this saying that ”every next level of life demands another version of you”. It took me a while to evolve (read more in The Unknown), but I look back in gratitude, and I am so excited for what 2017 will bring.
I wish you all beautiful holidays, with loving people and great food!
Take care and much LOVE,
Nadira
Full Outfitdetails in my photo diary: Jingle Bells 
Shop:
More of my outfit here.
The Unknown
I’ve decided to let you guys in on one of the things I initially intended to keep to myself. Because it has appeared to be a valuable life lesson to me, I figured it won’t hurt me to expose my vulnerable side a little bit, as it might help a lot of you through your journeys as well.
One of my frustrations that I’ve been working through in the past few months is having difficulty with ”not knowing”. I’ve always known myself as someone who knows exactly what she wants. I would describe myself as the type who always had a plan and everything figured out, but the past year I felt completely lost. Now I bet most of you are quite surprised reading this, because I know I always seem to have to all together, but the truth is, I’ve actually been quite a mess…(just really good at hiding it 😉 ).
I found myself falling into this gaping hole, completely lost. Despite running two companies, I still had the feeling that I didn’t know what I wanted to do in life; I started questioning everything I was doing. I didn’t know who I wanted to be, I literally felt as if I didn’t know anything anymore,”who am I, what do I stand for, am I on the right path, am I (good) enough?”….And it was SO scary! I lost my vision, my purpose, my drive and mojo. Especially for a control freak like me, it felt like I was going through the worst time of my life. I thought I was losing it honestly. And the worst part was, nobody could help me. Because nobody can answer these questions. for you, you need to find your own way.
So after months of inner-struggling and constantly in agony due to everything which seemed to be”unknown”, I decided to let it go. Because fighting to know wasn’t working out, it was actually only making me doubt everything even more. I let go of the panic I felt when I thought about everything I thought I should have had figured out by age of 27. I let go of the tremendous amount of self-pressure and doubt and said to myself, ”you know what Nadira, you’ll figure it out”, it’ll become clear, just focus on doing the things that trigger your passion, make you happy and give you energy. ”Eventually all the dots will connect”.
And the moment I did that, and used my precious energy for doing good for myself instead of fighting with myself, everything started changing. I knew I needed a lot to change, I wasn’t happy with where I was, but I didn’t know which direction to go. But the moment I stopped pressuring myself in needing to know, my next steps started to become clear to me. Amazing opportunities came out of ”nowhere”, and new paths were created for me.
In conclusion: the unknown can be frightening, believe me, I know. But I also found it to be a place where I discovered abilities I didn’t even know I had. And I believe the unknown is also the same place where I’ll accomplish more than I ever dreamed possible. I would advice to let go of the fear and just embrace it, let it reveal all those things you would never encounter if you’d always want to control and plan out everything in advance. In the end, I found the unknown to be like a breath of fresh air, exactly what I needed when I needed it. I learned that not knowing doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing.
I hope you enjoy my ‘‘Parisian Chique” photo diary shot in the rain (Yes, we die-hard like that ;-)!). All outfit details are listed below. Also check out my last fall/winter 2016 favourites post for all my fall fashion must haves, which I’m sure you’ll love!
And remember this:
”We do not fear the unknown. We fear what we project into the unknown”- Teal Swan.
Love,
Nadira
- Published in Self-Discovery & Growth, Written Archives 2013-2018
Big Bets & Jumping
A little bit longer than a week ago I had the privilege of being invited to the Inspiration 360 event in the Ziggodome in Amsterdam. The evening was more than inspiring with influential entrepreneurs as keynote speakers such as Sir Richard Branson, Bear Grylls, Anita Alberse and Al Gore. My partner got lucky to meet Sir Richard Branson personally, which was awesome.
A lot that has been said that night has been confirming to us that we’re on the right path and track with our mindsets. At the same time we’ve learned a lot. One of the things Anita Alberse said was really interesting and not long after, her words have really guided us while making some very important business decisions.
What she explained was that in investing, but also in life, we tend to make a number of small bets, because we assume that to be safer. However, according to the Blockbuster strategy she speaks of, there is less risk in making fewer large investments or so called ”big bets”. Going all out on one project appears to be a safer strategy.
This made me think of a video I came across of Steve Harvey, who was talking about taking risks in life and business, which he referred to as ”jumping”. ”If you want to be successful, you have to jump” he said.
As we speak, there are big bets being made and my partner and I decided to make a jump with our business. The risk is high, but the rewards are expected to be much higher, so we’re doing it! Unfortunately you will have to wait a little bit longer before I can tell you what exactly will be happening, but believe me as I say, it’s a big step for us and it’s going to be awesome!
This being said, I probably will not be able to blog consistently during the upcoming two months. Will do my best to do a post at least once every 3-4 weeks though, so no worries.
Leaving you with a quote by Mark Zuckerberg: ”The biggest risk is not taking any risk… In a world that’s changing really quickly, the only strategy that is guaranteed to fail is not taking risks”.
Sending you all my love!
Nadira
Full photo diary & Outfit details below.
Sweater: SheIn. Shoes: Timbaland. Bag: River Island. Hat: H&M.
Outfit details:
Photography by Jesse Verboog.
Alone & Complete
In June this year I had the privilege of being interviewed in Magazine 4, a news television program in my home country Suriname on ABC (Channel 4). The interview was mainly about my vision on entrepreneurship possibilities in Suriname and female empowerment. Naturally I referred to my blog for more on my ideas on the above. One of the questions I received about my blog was if I also wrote about love and relationships, and when I answered ”not really”, the question was why, because it was assumed that many might be interested in my views on this. On that note I’ve decided to write about something that I’ve been thinking about for a while.
Being in a relationship for longer than 8 years, I think many of you might think I’m not in the position to state what I’m about to tell you, yet it is in my opinion, one of the most important aspects of keeping a happy relationship.
Whether you’re in a steady relationship, or single or anywhere in between those two options, you should, at any time, feel happy, complete and content on your own.
With on your own, I mean you should be able to enjoy yourself when alone. You don’t depend on any other individual for your happiness and feeling of completion. The other individual(s) should complement your life, not be indispensable to it.
While this might logic to a lot of you (I really hope it already is), I see so many people around me waiting for approval and validation of others, which is literally the only thing that makes them feel happy and content. They can’t enjoy themselves when on their own, they need constant attention, entertainment and approval of others.
Putting yourself into a position of needing others to feel content and complete, makes you vulnerable and dependent to others and will lead you into a constant fight for happiness. Why? Because at the end of the day we are all alone in this world. We cannot fully depend on others, not even our parents or our closest loved ones, simply because of the fact that they are human, with their own battles to fight and shortcomings.
I’ve recently found myself in a phase where I felt so completely alone on this world, even while surrounded by my partner, my loving parents and very close friends. I realised that no matter how much they would want to help me, I was the only one who could really help myself with that which I was dealing with. No one might ever be able to fully give you what you want, which means you will be in search of happiness forever if waiting to find someone to give you that.
It is a process and I think the realisation of this comes to all of us at different phases in our lives, but of course, the earlier you know this, the better. We are primed by society and our environment into believing that we need an ”other half” and we have to get married and have children by some time, because only then you will be successful and guaranteed a happy life. When you’re single for too long at some point in your life, people are generally inclined to believe that something is wrong with you *Eye rolling smiley*. Given this common believe in many cultures that we are exposed to from early age, makes the fact that so many people think this way is not a surprise.
Even when you are in a relationship, it’s the sexiest thing when you can enjoy yourself just as much without one another as when together. It’s not at all selfish and very healthy to take and genuinely enjoy your alone time. I think it’s the actual definition of an independent woman or man! Neediness (in any form) is never sexy. In today’s day and age, we can all (well most of us) earn our own money, but can we actually take care of ourselves?
Believe me when I tell you that you are enough. When you start the process of getting to know yourself, and then accepting and loving yourself for who you really are, you will find that you are complete on your own. You can be genuinely happy on your own and don’t need anyone else.
You know who’s going to give you everything you want?…Yourself!
Love,
Nadira
P.S.1. I would love for you guys to tell me if you really want to read more about my ideas on love and relationships, please leave a comment below!
P.S.2. Keep scrolling to outfit details: Dress by SheIn. Shoes by Mango. Direct shopping links below!!
Shop my outfit:
Photography by Jesse Verboog.
As I Began To Love Myself
I believe people come into your life for a reason, and always at the right time. I have several examples of beautiful souls that recently crossed my path just when I needed their influence and wisdom. One of them is a special lady who sent me this poem written by Charlie Chaplin on his 70th birthday. In this phase that I currently find myself in, I recognise so much of this poem that I just had to share it with you.
”As I Began To Love Myself” – Charlie Chaplin
As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is AUTHENTICITY.
As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody as I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me. Today I call it RESPECT.
As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it MATURITY.
As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment, so I could be calm. Today I call it SELF-CONFIDENCE.
As I began to love myself I quit steeling my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call it SIMPLICITY.
As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything the drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism.Today I know it is LOVE OF ONESELF.
As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is MODESTY.
As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where EVERYTHING is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it FULFILLMENT.
As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But As I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection WISDOM OF THE HEART.
We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born. Today I know THAT IS LIFE!
Love yourself!
Nadira
Full photo diary including all ready to shop outfit details below:
Shop my look (Click on the product pictures to go to shop):
Photography by Jesse Verboog.
- 1
- 2