As I Began To Love Myself
I believe people come into your life for a reason, and always at the right time. I have several examples of beautiful souls that recently crossed my path just when I needed their influence and wisdom. One of them is a special lady who sent me this poem written by Charlie Chaplin on his 70th birthday. In this phase that I currently find myself in, I recognise so much of this poem that I just had to share it with you.
”As I Began To Love Myself” – Charlie Chaplin
As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is AUTHENTICITY.
As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody as I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me. Today I call it RESPECT.
As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it MATURITY.
As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment, so I could be calm. Today I call it SELF-CONFIDENCE.
As I began to love myself I quit steeling my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call it SIMPLICITY.
As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything the drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism.Today I know it is LOVE OF ONESELF.
As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is MODESTY.
As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where EVERYTHING is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it FULFILLMENT.
As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But As I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection WISDOM OF THE HEART.
We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born. Today I know THAT IS LIFE!
Love yourself!
Nadira
Full photo diary including all ready to shop outfit details below:
Shop my look (Click on the product pictures to go to shop):
Photography by Jesse Verboog.
Sorry, Not Sorry
Have you ever noticed how frequently you use the word sorry? I might secretly be a bit of a perfectionist but do I therefore need to apologize for every little messy detail in my life? I think it’s surely a point to reconsider and to question yourself, ‘am I proclaiming to be an alter ego of how people want to see me?’. Social pressures are taking the lead when it comes to people’s needlessness feeling like they need to apologize for their triumphs.
It’s like we feel obligated to say sorry because we feel like we have to. Out of politeness, respect to others and so on. We should never have to apologize for being normal human beings. Here are 5 things you should no longer apologize for:
1. Being Successful
We tend me be humble when it comes to this matter but I think we can all relate to our ambition, commitment and overwork hours at work. Being successful can intimidate others but hey, believe me when I say that it’s a fabulous thing and no need to say sorry to please anyone or for the benefit of the insecure people around you.
2. Showing our emotions.
It sounds legit yet many of us apologize for how we feel or what we think. However, we should embrace that we have the power to show how we feel and wear our hearts on our sleeves. Never apologize for being vulnerable and telling people what your heart is actually feeling.
3. Our pasts.
Things have happened and mistakes have been made but it doesn’t mean that they define us. All too often, we find ourselves apologizing for the past. It has actually helped us becoming who we are today, we fell – we came back stronger and yes, with a deeper understanding of life – the scars have taught us what we exactly want.
4. Being authentic.
Society has us where it wants us. Media exposures holds an image of how the ‘perfect’ woman (or man) should be – it’s like the unwritten standard we all think we should persist. Truth is, life is too complicated to not be yourself, you need to express yourself and embrace your uniqueness – it is your quality and definitely not something you should apologize for.
5. Always putting ourselves first.
As cliché as it may sound, love starts with yourself – it’s the most important and long-lasting relationship you will ever have. The moment you choose to put someone else before you is the moment you are putting yourself second. Follow your ambitions and love your friends and family, the rest will follow but never apologize for making your own decisions.
Sorry, not sorry…
Love,
Nadira
Keep scrolling! Photo diary continues below including all outfit details. If you click on the product pictures below, you can shop the outfit immediately. Dress & Bag: SheIn. Sandals: Missguided.
Wearing:
- Published in Self-Discovery & Growth, Written Archives 2013-2018
When Things Don’t Go Your Way
For quite a while I’ve been struggling. Some of you who know me a little bit by now know that I am someone who wants a lot of things, and usually it’s all at the same time. I aspire to do/achieve a lot, which leads to disappointment when things for whatever reason don’t go as planned in my head.
I think we’ve all been there, it can be something such as not getting to where you want to be in a certain amount of time that you’ve planned, or investing a lot into a project that fails. This, depending on how important it is in your life, can really keep you up at night. Many of us, especially those who are dedicated or emotionally involved tend to hang on and persevere, in the hope/belief that it is what’s good for them, and they have to have it no matter what it takes or how long. While I’m all for perseverance, and never giving up…there is a point where you have to take a step back, and evaluate your situation.
While doing so myself…suddenly, it hit me…and man-oh-man am I grateful for the extent of which my eyes have opened for certain things not going my way. I believe everything happens for a reason, and after evaluating several similar situations in my life where I felt that I had to have something, which eventually didn’t go my way…I found that I was better off each and every time.
There is that saying ‘’when one door closes, another one opens’’, and I found it to be very true. Recently, I found myself saying to my partner about a project that fell through that we were bummed about, that ”if it weren’t for that, we wouldn’t be able to take on another one”, which ended up being much more lucrative. While this is in business, I strongly believe the same goes for everything else in life. When you let go of what you ‘’think’’ you want, that is the moment you allow what you truly deserve to enter into your life.
Focus on what happiness, love, and peace feels like, but don’t focus too hard on trying to work out how exactly you will get there. Sometimes we can become so blinded by what is in front of us that it prevents us from seeing what can become FOR us.
There is much more for you to see, experience, and learn. Who you feel you need to be with may not be best for you. The job you feel you just have to have, may not give you that joy and security that you truly want.
Do you want to have a life that is full of joy and peace, or do you want to encounter a string of events that completely turns out the way you wish? Sometimes they go hand in hand, but other times you must sacrifice one for another.
A close friend of mine recently told me: ‘’Don’t be afraid to let go because of the fear that you will never experience something so special again’’. Because one way or the other you will, it just might come in a different shape than you expect.
There is a difference between visualizing your ideal reality and visualizing your heart’s’ desire. In an ideal reality you may marry that celebrity crush but feel unloved. Move into that great big house, yet feel empty. Our acquisitions feed off visualization and focus, our spiritual growth, however, feeds on positive emotion.
What are you still holding onto today that you feel you cannot live without or let go? Life is constantly changing, we are constantly changing, so sometimes it’s better to let go and embrace new possibilities and opportunities. Do not forget that all that you need is within you…and while I type this, it’s a big note to myself, because I honestly tend to forget that sometimes.
When a door closes knock on it a few times. But if it still doesn’t open, let it stay close. In career, in love, in life. When you see the period at the end of the sentence, don’t try to turn it into a comma. Know when something is over, and move on to whatever better is waiting.
Love,
Nadira
Outfitdetails: Dress, Coat & Shoes: Missguided. Lipcolor: Candy K by Kyliecosmetics.
- Published in Self-Discovery & Growth, Written Archives 2013-2018
Manipulate Your Own Mind
Starting From Small, It Becomes Big – The trick to manipulate your own mind.
One thing I’ve learned up to this point in life is that the mind has a memory. And it’s damn smart; it “subconsciously” recognizes patterns. Once the patterns become a habit, it’s hard to stop. It requires extra mental strength to break the habit. This is why it’s so difficult to stop doing something that you are used to doing, like smoking or becoming a morning person. At the same time, it offers the opportunity to create better habits for life, given that you are aware of this and have the mental power to pursue an activity long enough for your mind to make it a recognizable pattern.
“Starting from small, it becomes big.”
Starting with white lies, repeatedly, you become a compulsive liar.
Starting with shoplifting a candy bar, repeatedly, you become a thief.
At the same time…
Starting with exercising at least 3 times a week, repeatedly, you become fit.
Starting with eating healthy everyday, repeatedly, you become well and healthy.
Starting with walking with your back straight, repeatedly, you have an elegant posture.
Starting with smiling and being positive, you become a happy person to be around inside and out and attract people with the same energy to you.
Starting with giving unused clothes and loose change to the homeless, repeatedly, you become empathetic and giving.
Starting with sharing things with others, repeatedly, you become generous.
Starting with only doing things that align with your core values, repeatedly, you are a person of meaningful values.
Starting with reading, repeatedly, you become addicted to learning.
Starting with making sure you get what you need done for the day, repeatedly, you are always on top of everything.
Starting with being focused, each task at a time, repeatedly, you can easily get into the flow and be productive.
Starting with thinking outside the box, repeatedly, you become extremely creative.
Starting with getting out of your comfort zone, repeatedly, you become confident and fearless.
And so on…
Conclusion:
Starting with telling yourself what you want to achieve in life, repeatedly, you will get there.
Starting with just getting it started, repeatedly, anything you want to be and do, you can be and do.
So instead of thinking ‘’It’s too hard to stop or change’’ or ‘’I don’t know where to start’’, just start, and go step by step, day by day. Self-Mastery comes with consistency or as the great Aristotle once said ‘’We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.’’
Love,
Nadira
P.S. Pictures taken on a lovely day out in Haarlem, the Netherlands. Such a lovely city.
Outfit details: Sweater: H&M, Pants: Missguided, Heels: Mango, Sunglasses: ZeroUv, Lips: Dolce K by Kyliecosmetics.
Change
Change…As inevitable as it is, some fear it, some love it. I prefer to embrace it, because change is given.
Nothing in this world is free from change, everything is subject to a form of change or at the least a perception of change.
Change for me often comes with novelty and freshness, in the form of new beginnings and challenges. Even when I was younger, I would, at least twice a year, change the interior of my room. I would move the bed to another wall, and my desk to the other, facing a different angle. I would stay up all night cleaning out my closets, and organizing documents, books etc. Feeling new, fresh and relaxed afterwards. I’ve always had this longing for change after a certain period of time.
At the moment everything is changing, luckily for the better. I can finally announce that we are moving to a new, much bigger office for both of our companies. A separate Showroom for our Sports & Casual Brand Wulterkens & special Production area for Customized Wear.
At the same time, we are working on the launch of part 1 of the new Wulterkens’ fashionable sports collection. To say that it’s a crazy busy time is an understatement, but we are starting a new chapter. A new beginning where our businesses are taken to a higher level, something we’ve been working on for a long time now. I am super happy, grateful and excited!
One thing I have clearly noticed is: A change in Focus = A change in lifestyle. You get what you focus on, so the smart thing would be to focus on what you want. If you want things to change for the better, you have to do and be everything that will make it better. In line with the law of attraction, I’ve experienced that what you focus your energy on, you will attract and create as a reality, whether it’s doing something physical or just a thought.
From this perspective, change is beautiful and infinite. I just love something about the fact that at any point in life, we can choose to change ourselves and our situation; the fact that we always have the choice to start fresh and create, whatever comes after, to our ‘’ideal’’. It does however, require balls (courage), a lot of hard work, dedication and perseverance, since change usually doesn’t come overnight. It often requires breaking out of your comfort zone and doing less fun things. Fact is, if we really want it, we can change ourselves…our mindset, our actions, our bodies etc.
Of course we cannot always change anything and everything. One thing a lot of people do is to try to change others, which is something that rarely happens unless that significant person wants to change themselves. Sometimes you cannot change a certain complex situation. One of my favorite quotes from my Mom in this case is: ‘’If you can change it, then do so. If you can’t change it, then accept it and change your perception of it’’. Pretty similar to Maya Angelou’s quote: ‘’If you don’t like something, change it; if you can’t change it, change your attitude’’. Relativity is key here; always choose to look on the bright side of things, which helps focus more positive energy on to your goals.
From this perspective, change = growth and taking control/responsibility/action. Not leaving your life to what may or will be, but actively contributing in creating a life you want. Just like Steve Maraboli’s advice: ‘’Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.” or like Rumi’s advice: “Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”
And one of my absolute favorites, which has become sort of a motto to me: ‘’Edit your life, frequently and ruthlessly, it’s your Masterpiece, after all’’.
Love,
Nadira
“Change will not come if we wait for some other person, or if we wait for some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.” – Barack Obama
Outfitdetails: Dress: Missguided. Shoes: Aerosol. Sunglasses: Nastygal. Bracelet: Hermes Collier de Chien.
P.S.
these pictures are taken at a remarkable, historical location in my hometown Paramaribo, Suriname: Fort Zeelandia. Now partly a Museum, it has actually marked certain points of change in Surinamese history several times. Dark pages of history, unfortunately, from which too little people have learned. Those that know the history will know what I mean, but I will not elaborate on the subject. Despite the fact that I have very clear opinions regarding Politics, I’ve decided not to disclose on them in my blogs, keep it light.
P.S. 2
A few of my lovely readers asked me where I find the time in between the chaos to write. Well, most of the time I write concepts, when ideas come to my mind or before I go to sleep in bed. That way, all I have to do is structure it, check on spelling errors, add a few things and voila! Most of this post was written over the past 3 months.
My pictures are usually taken on the go to somewhere, so it’s little extra effort and can be planned in between my usual to do’s. Sometimes it’s hard to find a nice location though, so this does require a little bit of planning if you want to give your outfit a little more edge by matching it into an appropriate surrounding.
Have It All
The transition…From 30 degrees to temperatures around freezing point…From relaxation to kind of (a little bit) of chaos….From zen by the pool and partying to deadlines, obligations and commitments…From home in Suriname to home in the Netherlands…
I feel tired and stressed, but at the same time happy and excited, because despite the big load of work, it’s all lots of new amazing things happening, new opportunities & projects and growth!
Coming up the next few months from Wulterkens is a new sport collection,a new fashion collection, andddd something bigger, that I can’t tell just yet….Oh and at the moment we are swamped with the SALE, be sure to check out the Wulterkens website.
In Suriname, in the beginning I was going crazy, there was so much work that I couldn’t do, and I wasn’t used to not doing very much. I realized how much of a workaholic I’ve become, I literally had to kick off and take satisfaction out of only 2-3 hours of working a day.
I spent the remainder time mostly at my mom’s home during the day, at my dad’s home during the evenings, really enjoyed the quality time with my parents. Some days I enjoyed catching up with old friends and there were lots of fun parties. But apart from that, I also spent a lot of time thinking…thinking back on the previous year, what did we accomplish, what did we do wrong, which of the things could we have done better; What do we want to accomplish in 2015, what do we have to change in our current ways to be able to accomplish these goals….etc etc.
I’ve also thought a lot about myself, the woman I’ve become, the kind of woman I want to be; thought about my relationships with my partner, family, friends: Who do I want to spend more or less energy on. How will I incorporate more balance in my life….Is it even possible to create a balance when there is mostly chaos? I’m at this point in my life where I want so much, and I want it all at the same time…is it crazy to think that I can have it all?
I think a lot of people might think I am being too hard on myself…But if I don’t do it Now, when will I….I am 25, with the entire world at my feet, no better time than now to give my all, right?
It shouldn’t be so hard living a fullfilling, happy, content life by managing a continuously growing Brand/business with the ultimate goal to leave a mark and become financially free, while within the next 1,5 year obtaining my Masters degree in Marketing at the University, while also traveling and still enjoying quality time with my soulmate & partner, a selected group of friends and family (I don’t even dare to call that a social life)…oh and also while getting in the best shape ever….Nah, not that hard! Another 24 hours a day would surely be helpful, but oh well..I’ll manage. Nobody said it was going to be easy, but I know it’s going to be worth it.
Being able to accomplish all of this in these prime years, will make a good story for later when I’m old and wrinkly on my Yacht somewhere in the Caribbean. But also being able to inspire others, to show them that it is possible, as long as you’re willing to work.
I am extremely grateful that I have both the vision and the opportunities to be able to do so and I know that with the right attitude and belief in combination with working hard it should be a possibility…I guess time will tell…What do you guys think? Is it possible to have it all?
“Shoot for the moon, cause even if you miss, you will land among the stars’’
Love,
Nadira
My outfit is one of my favorite I wore in Suriname, it’s sexy, but chique and even a bit sporty; kind of J.LO inspired. I first decided to wear a nude lip with my hair half up, but halfway during the shoot I felt like spicing it up with a bit more color and a little wilder, loose hair. Which look is your fave?
Details: Pants: Missguided ; Top: Missguided ; Shoes: Missguided, older collection ; Purse: Zara, older collection ; Lipsticks: Hug me by MAC & Chili by MAC
”…But one idea described her best: she was unstoppable and she took anything she wanted with a smile”
24 Things 2014 Has Taught Me
The sound of birds tjirping as if they wouldn’t have a voice tomorrow, a dog occasionally barking, a light breeze of wind through the many plants and trees….I look outside and I see the sun and I can feel the wind on my skin…yes, I’m home! Checking in from Paramaribo, Suriname, South America, where I was born and raised until 18.
As much as I am enjoying it now, this was the first time in my life that I actually dreaded going home. Since I’ve been living in the Netherlands, I’ve been going home for Christmas and New Year’s every year, because my parents still live in Suriname and it’s always nice to be together during the Holidays. Every year when I had to go back to the Netherlands in January, I couldn’t wait until it was December again so I could go back home.
But this year, it was different. I think I’ve finally reached a point where I am content with the life I am living. I finally don’t have the need to “escape” to home. I didn’t want to go, because I didn’t want to leave my business to my partner alone. And I didn’t want to leave my partner, who is my partner in business, but also in life. Last year he came along with me, but this year things are too hectic, which is a good thing of course, it means things are going very well…But I was so sad to go.
Now I’m here and I am happy to be home. I am enjoying the little things mostly, like the weather and just being home, catching up with my mom and dad and some friends who live here. Oh and the food, can’t forget the food! Especially the fruits and veggies, everything is so fresh and natural.
More than anything, I’ve learned this year that you have to find your happiness in the little things.
As I’ve mentioned in my latest post, we’ve learned a lot this year, it’s been full of great things and lots of growth, but we also made some less smart decisions that became wise lessons for us, business wise, but also in general. I’ve decided to put the things I’ve learned this year in this last blog for 2014, mostly for myself, but maybe it’s a little help to you as well, a source of inspiration, to start the new year fresh and motivated. Some of them might be very obvious, but in practice they are often forgotten.
So here we go…
1. There is always, always, always something to be thankful for. Count your blessings, not your problems. Attitude of gratitude = the best attitude!
2. Always trust your intuition/gut feeling, it’s always right!
3. Business wise: Impulsive decisions can be good in the short term, but hurt you just as much in the long term.
4. If you already work 14 hours a day, 7 days a week like me, it’s not about working harder anymore, but about working more efficiently.
5. Believe more in yourself….You can do/be so much more than you think…All Limits are self-imposed!
6. Everybody pretends to be doing better than they actually are. The grass is always greener on the other side, don’t let this distract you from your goal. Focus on yourself.
7. Clear Communication & Good planning = More efficiency.
8. You’re only as important as your network.
9. Visualize, Visualize, Visualize! If you can dream it, you can do it!
10. Invest in yourself, whether it is by working/studying /exercising. Each minute that you invest in your own physical or mental well-being is a valuable investment that will definitely pay off. Try to learn something every day.
11. Love! Sometimes it’s easy to get carried away in your business or whatever it is that you are focused on. Don’t forget to enjoy some quality time with your loved ones (those that actually love and appreciate you).
12. Time is our most precious asset! Only invest your time in those that are worth it. Otherwise you lose, big time.
13. Walk your Talk, otherwise don’t talk at all.
14. Balance. Now this one is something I’m still not getting the hang of, but I really do hope to master in 2015. Balance is everything, if you are able to do it well; life becomes a lot easier and much more pleasant.
15. Set goals, but also lay out the steps to achieve them. A lot of people set goals, but have no idea on how to actually make them reality. It’s a step by step process.
16. Every time you were convinced you couldn’t go on, you did….The universe has a funny way of operating, but all you need to believe in, is that everything is going to be alright. So when things get tough, just hang on, keep going, keep fighting and don’t worry, everything is going to be amazing!
17. Trust the timing of your life. Everything happens for a reason. Accept, learn and go on.
18. No guts, no glory. Great things never come from comfort zones.
19. Sometimes you have to get knocked down lower than you’ve ever been to stand up taller than you ever where (Never a failure, always a lesson).
20. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity, find it!
21. To be able, at any moment sacrifice what you are, for what you will become.
22. It’s always impossible, until it’s done.
23. You’ve got to create your own luck.
24. She/He who dares, WINS.
Of course there is a lot more, but I consider these the most basic, fundamental and important. The rest is mostly in the same line of the above. Plus, we don’t have all day right!
Just like last year, my resolution is to keep on growing mentally, physically, spiritually…Just in every sense. Become smarter, better, stronger than I am now. And I want to love more, and give back more! What are your resolutions?
2013 was practice, 2014 was a warm-up, 2015 is Game time!
Thank you so much for following my life and experiences, I hope they have been and will continue to be an inspiration to your journey. Wishing you all the best in 2015!
Lots of love & Blessings,
Nadira
Outfitdetails: Heels & Co-oordinate (So in love with this color!): Missguided ; Clutch: Zara; Earrings: Swarovski.
*Pictures are taken in my beautiful garden in Suriname by my lovely Mom*
Pressure Creates Diamonds
As I’m sitting in my office on this cold rainy Saturday, waiting for my office to warm up a bit, I’m contemplating on how eventually all the dots will connect. Every piece of the puzzle will fall into place. Everything that’s happening, is happening for a reason.
There is this strong tendency that we all have to show off the better parts of our lives to the public. In general we tend to only/mostly share the good things that are happening in our lives with others and on social media. Nobody wants to see the struggle, they only want to see the glamour.
For a long time I’ve had and part of me still has, the tendency to create a certain image of myself and our business where it’s all and only about the success and growth. Because I only want people to see/believe things are going great. I come from a culture, where a lot of people, even family, for no other reason than simple jealousy love to hear when you’re not doing great. And I for one am not a person who wants to give them any satisfaction of the sort.
But then I realized how unrealistic and unfair it is to be dishonest; giving people the idea that there are only ups and no downs. Downs are as much part of life as ups are, and no one is excluded or gets spared. Everyone has their own issues, even the people from whom you don’t expect it. Everybody has their own shit to deal with. So why not own it, just like you do with the positive things. What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger right? So it even has an up-side to it.
The past few months we’ve been making some big investments to put our brand on a higher level. As my fellow marketers would understand, it’s pretty hard in some cases of marketing to directly connect a certain return to a particular marketing investment. And then you suddenly realize how vulnerable you are to the economy as a young brand. Let’s just say the past month hasn’t been easy. At some point it’s been like Murphy’s law. One disappointment after another. I didn’t think I could handle the stress anymore. You can work so hard (I’m talking roughly 90 hours a week) to create something, and within a few months of investments and ‘’not so smart’’ decisions things can make a total turnaround.
It’s painful, hard to deal with and to accept. Especially when it is your baby, it’s your creation, your ultimate goal and dream, everything you base your future upon. It’s something you’ve put all your money, time, energy, blood, sweat, tears in. But that’s the reality. You have to take it as it comes. It’s entrepreneurship.
We’ve learned so much during this period, literally an extremely expensive list of lessons learned. All these lessons, although I wish I didn’t have to learn them this way, are part of the pressure that eventually creates Diamonds. Or so I tell myself (Never a Failure, always a lesson). As nauseating as the ride may be, getting off the rollercoaster is simply not an option.
Just when I thought I reached my limits, I discovered I have the power to go beyond. I know one thing for sure. I was born one month too early and they didn’t think I was going to make it into this world. I fought for my life and now at 25 years I can feel it in my entire being that I’m here to create something big. So no matter what it will take, even if it means taking a few steps back, I will continue to fight. My partner, Edwin Wulterkens, has been fighting all his life as well. So the sure thing is…Wulterkens, as a brand, is a diamond in the making.
I hope that by being honest about our situation instead of pretending like most do, I am able to inspire you to keep on fighting, whatever battle you’re fighting. As I’ve said before…I know what I want and I’m gonna get it, no matter what it takes.
Conclusion: Never give up, never bend, just take control, adjust your sails. Tides eventually turn around and great things will come to you!
Plus: It does make a better story, I mean let’s be honest. If everything goes as planned, there is no adventure.
Stay focused!
Love,
Nadira
Outfitdetails: Multi-way Sweater: Victoria’s Secret; Pants: Zara; Heels: Missguided.
As most bloggers go darker with colors as the season changed, I wanted to do a lighter look in contrast. I’m still hooked on the nude-white look and it brightens up the day!
”An entire sea of water can’t sink a ship unless it gets inside the ship. Similarly, the negativity of the world around you can’t put you down unless you allow it to get inside you”.
The Cost Of Ambition
First there is an idea, a certain concept, that develops into a vision/ a dream. Then, you start making it more realistic and it becomes a goal. A goal you can accomplish by getting through a certain number of steps.
When you have broken down the goal into a number of steps, then you have each step on its own, that comes with its own challenges and opportunities. And basically the entire process of getting to the next step involves a lot of sacrifice, hard work and capability of dealing with certain set backs that make the way to the next step longer.
Robert Kyosaki says ”The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire, the size of your dream and how you handle dissapointment along the way”.
How you handle dissapointments, hurdles, setbacks, whatever you want to call them, will decide ultimately whether you get through to the next step and eventually to reaching your goal successfully.
The entire path to success is beautiful also, full of learning, growth, changes, sometimes you end up taking other routes that you would never thought you would take the moment you started. It’s an adventure, a roller-coaster. The process itself is very rewarding, if you have the habit of being thankful for each little step towards the right direction.
I believe that it’s not about the destination, which is the ultimate goal you set, but about enjoying and appreciating each step of the journey.
I also believe we constantly re-shape our goals, as soon as we’ve achieved a big part of it, it is very likely that our focus starts to differ, because more things start to become possible than we’ve anticipated on before, so we start moving the boundaries we set in the beginning, and the goal becomes bigger/different along the way, which is a beautiful thing.
However, devoting your life to achieving certain goals, in order to be able to live a certain lifestyle comes with a great cost. It’s simple: You focus on what you want, and you get what you focus on. But with that focus being on a certain goal, you really don’t have time for other things. I’s a cost that not many are willing to pay. See also my previous post on the Value of Time.
The cost I’m talking about:
– Late nights, early mornings (chronic exhaustion)
– Lots of Associates/Business contacts, very few (real) friends (close to no social life).
– You will be misunderstood (including by your family).
– You will be single unless you’re lucky enough to find someone who understands your lifestyle
– People want you to do good but never better than them
All these points basically lead to you doing everything alone.
”’It’s lonely at the top”, a very well known phrase. However, it already starts on the way to the top. You start living a live that people around you don’t understand and at the same time, when they see your success ,they want it too, but have no idea what it takes or they are not willing to work for it/ give up the many things like you are. This is applicable to many things, it doesn’t neccesarily have to be related to business.
The people around you not understanding and not wanting you to do better than them has become very obvious to me multiple times already. For instance on social media, when I post something insignificant, yet recognizable for everyone, I get a lot of likes and response. Yet, when I post something significant, a highlight/milestone for our business, something really cool, the number of likes/comments is 1/4 or half of what I usually get when posting something.
I’m still working on a hypothesis to why that is exactly. Is it too far from their beds, that they can’t relate and therefore don’t give it attention or is it that I’m really surrounded by lots of haters (including family and so called friends) who don’t like to see me doing/achieving big things?
People I’m not acquainted with seem to be happier and more likely to press the Like button.
I don’t tend to give it a lot of attention, because I’m not the kind of person who likes to focus on negativity, but sometimes it is dissapointing. At the same time, it gives me a lot more energy because I love to be able to show (off) that it is possible and I made it happen, when others thought of it to be impossible. Moreover, I do it all for myself, not for anyone else, so I don’t need anyone’s approval or applause. However, I more would like to inspire people to do the same than to have them just hating and not making anything out of their life.
The whole ”not having a social life” part of entrepreneurship is already something I’ve gotten used to. I am very grateful to have my partner in life who is also my partner in Business by my side, which means I am lucky to have someone on the journey to the top, someone who understands everything. I am also very grateful that I have 2 amazing parents and a brother who understand and support me all the way. And apart from a handful of friends, this is where it stops. Which is fine, because I don’t have the time anyway and I don’t do drama, I do Business.
Two big highlights from Wulterkens have been the new Sports-collection that is online now. We have expanded from only Fitness to Running, Bootcamp, Crossfit, Boxing and other similar activities/sports and we are managing to differentiate the brand with statement items in funky colors and with motivating quotes. We are growing very fast, every day more people know the brand and love it, so that’s of course a big deal for us.
We also have a really fun giveaway with stunning Dutch top model Kim Feenstra, who proudly wears our clothing. You can Win her Wulterkens outfit. Only 1 day left to participate in the competition, click here. The complimentary comments about Wulterkens Clothing of all the lovely people that are participating in this giveaway are overwhelming!
So these are 2 big things that bring our brand to yet another (higher) level and another step closer to our goal. I’m extremely proud, because there were many sleepless nights and it is yet a confirmation to us that it is worth it. Hard work pays off, and you don’t just get lucky, you have to create your own luck. I am very grateful for those who recognize the passion and love to work with us.
I wonder if any of you have similar experiences, so feel free to comment and share yours.
Stay Focused, Positive & Passionate.
Love,
Nadira
Outfitdetails
Wulterkens Let’s get Physical Tee
Supertrash Severine Skirt
ZARA Mesh heels (Old collection)
Guess Bag (Old collection)
A Smooth Sea Never Made a Skilled Sailor
Wave after wave, it’s all coming at us, the good (sometimes even great) and the less good. For a control freak like me (and a perfectionist, yes I’m the perfect disastrous combo), it can be very frustrating at times. One thing I constantly have to remind myself of is to accept all of the things I cannot change and focus my energy on those that I can change.
Looking back, starting our own clothing brand (from scratch, no investors), while the world economy is in a crisis was quite a courageous thing to do…And it hasn’t been easy, we’ve been fighting through every step. However, a smooth sea never made a skilled sailor. The fighting is resulting in winning, slowly but surely we are putting our brand Wulterkens on the world map.
I embrace all of the ‘’mistakes’’ we’ve made and the lessons learned from them, I feel I have grown so much as a person within the last 1,5 year. If you don’t fail, you don’t learn. Keep in mind, failure is relative, for instance, it might be just not making the sale you really wanted, not the end of the world.
For everyone following our growth, it seems to go really fast. And perhaps, it is, but in our eyes, because we know how much time and effort we put in and we know our goals, it’s not going fast enough. I see this as positive though, because it keeps us hungry and striving for more, thereby constantly improving and producing a better product.
The fact that it’s not easy is why it’s not for everyone. And the win, will be of so much more value after knowing you have acquired it by giving your all compared to if someone would just give it to you. I think at some point we all realize that it really is about the journey, not so much the destination. Still, the destination is key to keep you on point during the journey.
In the end there is a lot of sacrifice, there will be rejections and you will have to get over your fears (believe in yourself). If you can dream it you can do it. Just have the courage and persistence to follow through. Stay positive, be critical to yourself. Try to be the best version of yourself, constantly striving to be better than the last version of you. Don’t compete with others, you don’t know their story. Create your own opportunities, if they are not presenting themselves.
Most importantly, know you are not alone: 85 % of today’s millionaires started from scratch. A famous Michael Jordan quote: ‘’I’ve failed over and over again and that is why I succeed’’. The famous stories about Walt Disney, J.K. Rowling, Steve Jobs and many others being rejected numerous times before reaching their success, are inspiring to never give up and keep going, keep believing in yourself and your product.
This is really successful business 101 in the tiniest nutshell (I’m sure I also left a lot of important things out, but will cover specific topics in the future). While I’m sharing my lessons learned with you, it is at the same time a note to myself, because for me also, it’s a constant battle. One thing I know for sure: I Can and I Will accomplish anything I set my mind to, I have always before, and I always will. I wish the same for all of you.
Love,
Nadira