RECULER POUR MIEUX SAUTER
Despite my French being non-existent, the saying “Reculer pour mieux sauter” stuck with me. It means: “To take a step back in order to make a jump forward”—which is how I feel…like I’m being pulled by something greater than me…to observe, listen, learn…
As I received life’s gifts, I had a choice:
Self-sabotage: hide my emotions, continue ignoring my intuition, dive into work & everything else entertaining that would present itself—thereby repeating the pattern (aka the path of least resistance)
OR
Put on my brave-girl panties and dive into transforming my pain into something useful🦸🏾♀️
While I was persuaded a few times, I’m so grateful I was able to commit to the latter.
You see…the more I started accepting life as it “is” including my own truth and that of others, I started feeling more aligned, grounded & at peace.
I needed to let go of how “I” decided things should be; make space & trust that everything IS as it should be; as I could clearly see why everything happening was for me to be able to break a destructive cycle of letting my mind cloud my intuitive judgement & lingering in situations that weren’t for me.
Observing myself brought me so much clarity: How all my emotions are guidance to where I need to connect with myself; I learned to use the cause of my emotions to identify my psychological needs, values and redefine my boundaries (to keep out what I don’t want in the future).
While I’ve been feeling really good lately, I’m still on this journey of healing & full acceptance where I have to continuously forgive,
be kind to & remind myself to trust this process of self-love, which paradoxically is more like a hell of a rollercoaster ride.
It’s also the most liberating conscious transformation I’ve experienced.
As many are dealing with their own set of challenges during these crazy times, just know: You always have a choice.
Stepping into my power has taught me that acceptance of what “is” combined with consciously facing yourself can bring you closer
to who you are to the core. With this insight you can take on the world from another level ✨
I may not see the road ahead, yet I feel confidently optimistic, even excited! Taking one step at a time…
Location: Paris, France
- Published in Love & Relationships, Self-Discovery & Growth
”HERE’S MY GIFT TO YOU” SAID LIFE
I knew myself to be in a period of transformation, but man oh mann, did I NOT expect life coming at me.
This, even though all the signs where there from the beginning and ironically, while I experienced so much progress with regards to self-discovery & growth🤦🏽♀️.
I felt so intensely happy and at peace, despite(!) nothing in my life going as I planned. As if 2020 just being itself wasn’t enough, life decided to test me. “Ahhh, you think you know what you’re doing?! Well, show me what you’ve learned!”.
Experiencing emotional turmoil, I easily fell into the “trap”, before I could see it as an opportunity to practice.
“WHY is this happening to ME”, “Howww?”, etc. = the trap of my mind/ego victimizing myself, until I realized: Struggles, challenges, adversity, heartbreak, pain, unmet expectations, rejection, loss etc.—It’s ALL here as a gift of life. To learn, grow and evolve.
As we are all unique, we receive tailor made gifts— to awaken us until we learn to accept them with gratitude & listen to what they teach us.
I had my body itching every night for 2 weeks, thinking bed bugs and all the worst. The doctor couldn’t help, as there was nothing visible on my body. Psychosomatically, it was literally the inside of me screaming that I wasn’t listening, making me want to “jump out of skin”. The crazy part? As soon as I let go of what I had to, the itch was GONE.
I’m learning now that life is NOT about being happy all the time. It’s about being true to yourself; connected to yourself. Living in alignment with your values and setting boundaries. Facing your emotions and “mistakes” instead of burying them deep. From that comes something more profound than happiness!
The more you know yourself, the more clarity there is. It “cost” me a beautiful relationship that wasn’t for me, but the pain was there to teach me to listen to me & choose me with all the love I have for myself.
Life will continue to throw us exactly what we need to force us to turn inward;
“Shit” happens to the best (all) of us and there is so much value in the growing pains! Instead of blaming life, making yourself the victim, embrace your tailor made gifts from the Universe & LISTEN🙏✨
Location: Venice, Italy
- Published in Love & Relationships, Self-Discovery & Growth
Alone & Complete
In June this year I had the privilege of being interviewed in Magazine 4, a news television program in my home country Suriname on ABC (Channel 4). The interview was mainly about my vision on entrepreneurship possibilities in Suriname and female empowerment. Naturally I referred to my blog for more on my ideas on the above. One of the questions I received about my blog was if I also wrote about love and relationships, and when I answered ”not really”, the question was why, because it was assumed that many might be interested in my views on this. On that note I’ve decided to write about something that I’ve been thinking about for a while.
Being in a relationship for longer than 8 years, I think many of you might think I’m not in the position to state what I’m about to tell you, yet it is in my opinion, one of the most important aspects of keeping a happy relationship.
Whether you’re in a steady relationship, or single or anywhere in between those two options, you should, at any time, feel happy, complete and content on your own.
With on your own, I mean you should be able to enjoy yourself when alone. You don’t depend on any other individual for your happiness and feeling of completion. The other individual(s) should complement your life, not be indispensable to it.
While this might logic to a lot of you (I really hope it already is), I see so many people around me waiting for approval and validation of others, which is literally the only thing that makes them feel happy and content. They can’t enjoy themselves when on their own, they need constant attention, entertainment and approval of others.
Putting yourself into a position of needing others to feel content and complete, makes you vulnerable and dependent to others and will lead you into a constant fight for happiness. Why? Because at the end of the day we are all alone in this world. We cannot fully depend on others, not even our parents or our closest loved ones, simply because of the fact that they are human, with their own battles to fight and shortcomings.
I’ve recently found myself in a phase where I felt so completely alone on this world, even while surrounded by my partner, my loving parents and very close friends. I realised that no matter how much they would want to help me, I was the only one who could really help myself with that which I was dealing with. No one might ever be able to fully give you what you want, which means you will be in search of happiness forever if waiting to find someone to give you that.
It is a process and I think the realisation of this comes to all of us at different phases in our lives, but of course, the earlier you know this, the better. We are primed by society and our environment into believing that we need an ”other half” and we have to get married and have children by some time, because only then you will be successful and guaranteed a happy life. When you’re single for too long at some point in your life, people are generally inclined to believe that something is wrong with you *Eye rolling smiley*. Given this common believe in many cultures that we are exposed to from early age, makes the fact that so many people think this way is not a surprise.
Even when you are in a relationship, it’s the sexiest thing when you can enjoy yourself just as much without one another as when together. It’s not at all selfish and very healthy to take and genuinely enjoy your alone time. I think it’s the actual definition of an independent woman or man! Neediness (in any form) is never sexy. In today’s day and age, we can all (well most of us) earn our own money, but can we actually take care of ourselves?
Believe me when I tell you that you are enough. When you start the process of getting to know yourself, and then accepting and loving yourself for who you really are, you will find that you are complete on your own. You can be genuinely happy on your own and don’t need anyone else.
You know who’s going to give you everything you want?…Yourself!
Love,
Nadira
P.S.1. I would love for you guys to tell me if you really want to read more about my ideas on love and relationships, please leave a comment below!
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As I Began To Love Myself
I believe people come into your life for a reason, and always at the right time. I have several examples of beautiful souls that recently crossed my path just when I needed their influence and wisdom. One of them is a special lady who sent me this poem written by Charlie Chaplin on his 70th birthday. In this phase that I currently find myself in, I recognise so much of this poem that I just had to share it with you.
”As I Began To Love Myself” – Charlie Chaplin
As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is AUTHENTICITY.
As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody as I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me. Today I call it RESPECT.
As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it MATURITY.
As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment, so I could be calm. Today I call it SELF-CONFIDENCE.
As I began to love myself I quit steeling my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call it SIMPLICITY.
As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything the drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism.Today I know it is LOVE OF ONESELF.
As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is MODESTY.
As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where EVERYTHING is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it FULFILLMENT.
As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But As I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection WISDOM OF THE HEART.
We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born. Today I know THAT IS LIFE!
Love yourself!
Nadira
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