The Unknown
I’ve decided to let you guys in on one of the things I initially intended to keep to myself. Because it has appeared to be a valuable life lesson to me, I figured it won’t hurt me to expose my vulnerable side a little bit, as it might help a lot of you through your journeys as well.
One of my frustrations that I’ve been working through in the past few months is having difficulty with ”not knowing”. I’ve always known myself as someone who knows exactly what she wants. I would describe myself as the type who always had a plan and everything figured out, but the past year I felt completely lost. Now I bet most of you are quite surprised reading this, because I know I always seem to have to all together, but the truth is, I’ve actually been quite a mess…(just really good at hiding it 😉 ).
I found myself falling into this gaping hole, completely lost. Despite running two companies, I still had the feeling that I didn’t know what I wanted to do in life; I started questioning everything I was doing. I didn’t know who I wanted to be, I literally felt as if I didn’t know anything anymore,”who am I, what do I stand for, am I on the right path, am I (good) enough?”….And it was SO scary! I lost my vision, my purpose, my drive and mojo. Especially for a control freak like me, it felt like I was going through the worst time of my life. I thought I was losing it honestly. And the worst part was, nobody could help me. Because nobody can answer these questions. for you, you need to find your own way.
So after months of inner-struggling and constantly in agony due to everything which seemed to be”unknown”, I decided to let it go. Because fighting to know wasn’t working out, it was actually only making me doubt everything even more. I let go of the panic I felt when I thought about everything I thought I should have had figured out by age of 27. I let go of the tremendous amount of self-pressure and doubt and said to myself, ”you know what Nadira, you’ll figure it out”, it’ll become clear, just focus on doing the things that trigger your passion, make you happy and give you energy. ”Eventually all the dots will connect”.
And the moment I did that, and used my precious energy for doing good for myself instead of fighting with myself, everything started changing. I knew I needed a lot to change, I wasn’t happy with where I was, but I didn’t know which direction to go. But the moment I stopped pressuring myself in needing to know, my next steps started to become clear to me. Amazing opportunities came out of ”nowhere”, and new paths were created for me.
In conclusion: the unknown can be frightening, believe me, I know. But I also found it to be a place where I discovered abilities I didn’t even know I had. And I believe the unknown is also the same place where I’ll accomplish more than I ever dreamed possible. I would advice to let go of the fear and just embrace it, let it reveal all those things you would never encounter if you’d always want to control and plan out everything in advance. In the end, I found the unknown to be like a breath of fresh air, exactly what I needed when I needed it. I learned that not knowing doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing.
I hope you enjoy my ‘‘Parisian Chique” photo diary shot in the rain (Yes, we die-hard like that ;-)!). All outfit details are listed below. Also check out my last fall/winter 2016 favourites post for all my fall fashion must haves, which I’m sure you’ll love!
And remember this:
”We do not fear the unknown. We fear what we project into the unknown”- Teal Swan.
Love,
Nadira
- Published in Self-Discovery & Growth, Written Archives 2013-2018
Pressure Creates Diamonds
As I’m sitting in my office on this cold rainy Saturday, waiting for my office to warm up a bit, I’m contemplating on how eventually all the dots will connect. Every piece of the puzzle will fall into place. Everything that’s happening, is happening for a reason.
There is this strong tendency that we all have to show off the better parts of our lives to the public. In general we tend to only/mostly share the good things that are happening in our lives with others and on social media. Nobody wants to see the struggle, they only want to see the glamour.
For a long time I’ve had and part of me still has, the tendency to create a certain image of myself and our business where it’s all and only about the success and growth. Because I only want people to see/believe things are going great. I come from a culture, where a lot of people, even family, for no other reason than simple jealousy love to hear when you’re not doing great. And I for one am not a person who wants to give them any satisfaction of the sort.
But then I realized how unrealistic and unfair it is to be dishonest; giving people the idea that there are only ups and no downs. Downs are as much part of life as ups are, and no one is excluded or gets spared. Everyone has their own issues, even the people from whom you don’t expect it. Everybody has their own shit to deal with. So why not own it, just like you do with the positive things. What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger right? So it even has an up-side to it.
The past few months we’ve been making some big investments to put our brand on a higher level. As my fellow marketers would understand, it’s pretty hard in some cases of marketing to directly connect a certain return to a particular marketing investment. And then you suddenly realize how vulnerable you are to the economy as a young brand. Let’s just say the past month hasn’t been easy. At some point it’s been like Murphy’s law. One disappointment after another. I didn’t think I could handle the stress anymore. You can work so hard (I’m talking roughly 90 hours a week) to create something, and within a few months of investments and ‘’not so smart’’ decisions things can make a total turnaround.
It’s painful, hard to deal with and to accept. Especially when it is your baby, it’s your creation, your ultimate goal and dream, everything you base your future upon. It’s something you’ve put all your money, time, energy, blood, sweat, tears in. But that’s the reality. You have to take it as it comes. It’s entrepreneurship.
We’ve learned so much during this period, literally an extremely expensive list of lessons learned. All these lessons, although I wish I didn’t have to learn them this way, are part of the pressure that eventually creates Diamonds. Or so I tell myself (Never a Failure, always a lesson). As nauseating as the ride may be, getting off the rollercoaster is simply not an option.
Just when I thought I reached my limits, I discovered I have the power to go beyond. I know one thing for sure. I was born one month too early and they didn’t think I was going to make it into this world. I fought for my life and now at 25 years I can feel it in my entire being that I’m here to create something big. So no matter what it will take, even if it means taking a few steps back, I will continue to fight. My partner, Edwin Wulterkens, has been fighting all his life as well. So the sure thing is…Wulterkens, as a brand, is a diamond in the making.
I hope that by being honest about our situation instead of pretending like most do, I am able to inspire you to keep on fighting, whatever battle you’re fighting. As I’ve said before…I know what I want and I’m gonna get it, no matter what it takes.
Conclusion: Never give up, never bend, just take control, adjust your sails. Tides eventually turn around and great things will come to you!
Plus: It does make a better story, I mean let’s be honest. If everything goes as planned, there is no adventure.
Stay focused!
Love,
Nadira
Outfitdetails: Multi-way Sweater: Victoria’s Secret; Pants: Zara; Heels: Missguided.
As most bloggers go darker with colors as the season changed, I wanted to do a lighter look in contrast. I’m still hooked on the nude-white look and it brightens up the day!
”An entire sea of water can’t sink a ship unless it gets inside the ship. Similarly, the negativity of the world around you can’t put you down unless you allow it to get inside you”.
