The Illusion Of Comfort
We all love comfort and we often associate having certain degree of comfort with happiness. Wealth provides us with comfort, which is one of the reasons why we strive for wealth. We think if we’re wealthy, we get more comfort, and we will become happier. This way of thinking results in us working our asses off for a comfortable life, whether it is for ourselves or for our loved ones.
But the thing is…Comfort is actually an illusion. An illusion that too many of us become slaves of, because it’s so easy to get sucked into.
Don’t lose yourself in the illusion of Comfort.
Many don’t know this, but at one point in my life, in the very beginning of starting with our businesses, I was extremely broke. We never worked with any investors and banks were very anxious at that time to give out loans to startups. At that time I was still a Bachelor student. Apart from some financial aid from my dad, we invested everything we earned (which wasn’t that much yet) into our new brand, which at the time wasn’t generating much income yet. It was a vicious circle. As you might know, brand awareness takes a load of time, I’m talking decades, not a year or two.
I found myself facing a harsh truth of life: Struggle to pay the rent and bills. I’ve never had to struggle like that before, because I was lucky to have my parents who always supported me financially all the way through college.
I had two options:
1. I could borrow more money from my parents.
2. I could give this struggling life a go.
I felt like the first wasn’t really an option, as it was my choice to start a business and not go for a 9-5 job at some multinational. Also, I felt, I was an adult, and it just felt wrong to keep running to my daddy for money, so there was a lot of ego and pride involved too.
So, I decided to give the struggling life a go, because I wanted to see if I could really survive. My dad started his consulting company from scratch too, so I should be able to do so as well.
It was tough…I mean reaaally tough for quite a while. I wouldn’t call myself spoiled, but I come from a good family and always got everything I needed, and almost everything I wanted. So it was a real lifestyle shift for me. However, I am very grateful for this period in my life, because I’ve learned and grown so much from it. I’ve gotten more tough, my mind got stronger. When you know you are capable of living uncomfortably, there isn’t much you’re afraid of anymore. I realised that fear of failure is actually the fear of having to live an uncomfortable life, but I survived…and I was fine. I know now that, no matter what happens in life, I will find a way to survive. I can easily adapt to changing circumstances.
Apart from learning great financial management skills, I realized how many things we tend to buy that we actually don’t need. I was used to buying new clothes every month (maybe even every week!), so many accessories, and all those little things that we splurge on and we don’t need. All the food we buy that goes bad, because we buy too much. You have to become inventive, creative to make the most out of what you have. The constant realization that every euro you spend now, you won’t have to spend tomorrow, so it has to be spent wisely. While it is not a way of living that I would like to maintain, as it is quite extreme, it has taught me so much. I’ve decided to maintain this new mentality and it still serves me well, because no matter how much you earn, it doesn’t hurt to be conscious.
The new mentality – habit of living with less – basically refers to no unnecessary shopping (Ask yourself, do I really need this? And be honest!), eating in (cooking), staying in (entertain yourself at home).
One of the results of employing this mentality is something I am extremely grateful for, which is looking for happiness from within, rather from external sources.
It’s the realization that, buying that ’’new dress that you don’t really need, but it’s soo cute and it will look great on instagram’’, is fun, but not real happiness.
During the struggle period I had to find ‘’free things’’ to do, things that I could enjoy without having to spend any cent. Apart from working a lot, I started reading more, writing more, streaming television series, enjoying nature, working out. All things that costs relatively little to no money, but are actually really good for you. Being in my early twenties, with all my friends still going out partying and splurging, it was tough. But as a result, I became happier from within, and it wasn’t based on external factors. I found out, that I didn’t need a lot of comfort to make me happy.
Sometimes the uncomfortable things in life are there to teach us lessons because to go through a change of habit, we need to feel uncomfortable. – Mo Seetubtim
Give it a try if you can. Learn to live with less. Become comfortable with living uncomfortably. Then you’ll realize that there’s more to life than finding comfort. Because after all, comfort is just an illusion.
Love,
Nadira
P.S. I bet you guys didn’t know I could walk on water…;-). Pictures taken at Babunhol Resort in my home country Suriname by Surej Tul.
Straight Outta Paramaribo
Next to the finishing touch on the new Wulterkens sport collection, I’ve been spending the past few weeks on doing things that I usually don’t find the time for. This mounted in less time to shoot new pictures for new posts, but luckily I stumbled upon this shoot I did back in January, in sunny Paramaribo.
When I see these pictures I get home sick, so I decided to battle the sickness by sharing my Suriname experience with you, which also provides you all with a little background on yours truly.
Paramaribo, Suriname, located above brazil, and in between the Guyana’s in South America, is the place I call my Home. I was born and raised there, and no matter where I travel to, there is no other country that can give me that grounded feeling, that I get when I’m in Suriname.
One of the reasons I am drawn to Suriname, is because both of my parents live there, which is also why I always go back at least once a year, preferably in december around the holidays. Suriname is fun all the year round, but during the entire month of December, it’s like the whole country is partying and celebrating, which gives it all an extra charm. New Years Eve in Suriname is celebrated in a very special way, and has been listed in CNN’s top 3 countries to travel to for the New Years. I’m going to keep it short and say just come and experience it!!
For me, it’s my outlet, a place to calm down, after a year full of meetings, obligations, deadlines, and all the stress that comes with it. It’s familiar and safe.
The moment I step out of the plane, and feel the warm, moisty wind on my skin, I breathe in the air deeply and I think, yes I’m home!!! It’s hard to describe, but it’s a great feeling.
Despite living in the Netherlands for 8 years, and being extremely grateful for all the opportunities I have here, I’ve never had a feeling similar to the one I have when I am in Suriname. Yet, at the same time, I think I appreciate it all so much more, due to the comparison.
Of course, having lived there for the first 18 years of my life, and still having my parents and a lot of friends there contributes to that feeling of ”home”. Apart from that, there are the many things that make Suriname amazing, which are amongst others, the weather, the food, the different cultures and their mixed influences, oh and the tropical nature, which is breathtaking.
When I get home, one of the first things I do is make a food list, because I want to make sure I don’t miss out on anything. Yes go ahead, you can laugh, but if you have tasted Surinamese food, you will understand! There is so much to choose from, and apart from the cultural dishes, like roti, saoto, moksi alesi and so much more, I also have my list of certain tropical fruits and veggies that I always have to eat.
The comfort of home, the company of my parents, great weather, amazing food, and the surinamese culture having a different sense of ”time”, makes it for me, the perfect vacation to wind down, and recharge my batteries for the next year. For interesting facts about Suriname, take a look here.
Which brings me to the point of the importance of having a place you call home. I think everyone has a certain place where they feel home. Top model Doutzen Kroes, despite traveling all over the world, loves unwinding at home in Friesland. In my opinion, regularly returning to this place we call home, is essential, especially when you have a stressful and demanding job or business. This place (home) can be different for everyone. For me, home is a place on the other end of the globe, but for others, home can be around the corner. It’s all about that feeling you get when you’re at your favorite place. And when you’re there, despite you’re stressful life, you are able to let go and free your mind. And we all know that when you can emtpy your mind and fill up with new, positive energy, you are ready to take on the world. Home is the place where you are the happiest, where you can unwind, and fill up on positive energy.
For an impression of my beautiful home country Suriname, take a look here, and here. These are websites of friends whom I admire for their amazing talent. I’m sure you will completely understand what I’m talking about after seeing their photography. I’m proud of my roots, and I’m happy I can share them with you.
Lastly, I would like to send all my lovely readers around the world my LOVE and appreciation! Today we’re celebrating 2 years of the lead when others follow-blog! Despite me wanting to have written a lot more for you in the past 2 years, I’m extremely grateful for all of you around the world who spent time reading on my adventures, lessons learned, advice and outfits. There is a big giveaway coming up soon (in September), to make sure you don’t miss it, sign up for the blog!
With love from Paramaribo,
Nadira
Bikini by River Island; Shorts by Nastygal; Sandals by Zara.
- Published in Adventure & Travel, Written Archives 2013-2018